Friday, July 20, 2012

Open Letter to P&G

Dear Mr. Proctor & Mr. Gamble:

My name is Cathy Keisha and I'm a very well-respected and well-connected cat blogger.

TW, didn't you buy cat Bounty?
I'm writing today on a topic of epic proportions. We are approaching crisis time here in the condo. As you know, we stopped using most of your products back on the mid-80s when we learned of all the horrible testing your company used animals for. We did, however, resume using Bounty paper towels when you brought out the cute cat prints. We couldn't resist. Now, however, we can't find them in Pathmark. In fact, we can't find them anywhere! All they have is crappy U.S. Olympic prints. BRING BACK THE CATS! Even though they were a kinda poor excuse for what cats really look like, still they were cats and they were cute. We're on the last roll and, if we can't find more cat towels, we'll be forced to look to another brand. After all, white is white, right?

Strength isn't really an issue here since the peeps use the cat Bounty as placemats. Everyone knows that if you have a REALLY BIG spill like The Great Birch Beer Caper, you clean it up with cloth towels to save the environment. Of course, this brings the question why the peeps don't use reusable placemats for themselves. They give ME a reusable placemat. But that's between me and them for another time.

They are kinda cute and they ARE cats! Bring back the cat prints!
Mr. P. & Mr G., I don't think you know who you're messing wit'. My teeth and claws are razor sharp! I know I'm just a little ghetto kitteh; but when I have questions, you'd better have answers, na mean? So, what happened to the cat print Bounty and why isn't it on my store's shelves????

While I have your attention, I thought I'd mention that your new website is f**ked messed up. We couldn't FIND the towels we were looking for. We couldn't find much of anything. All the links led back to the very confusing and busy home page or some shopping site that wasn't for the product we clicked on. And, oh yeah, before I sign off, we know you're lying so

STOP TESTING ON ANIMALS!


Very truly yours,
Cathy "Stunning" Keisha

25 comments:

Molly The Wally said...

Awaiting P&G's reply with great anticipation. Have a lovely Friday Keisha.
Best wishes Molly

Hilary said...

Thank you so much for leaving words of comfort for me on the passing of my beloved cat, Alex. Marc and I are heartbroken. We know we did the right thing, and every day we realize how much Alex was “preparing us” during the last few weeks, but it doesn’t make it any easier. We can’t stop the tears…. But having wonderful friends, like you, and the support of the CB is making it better….

Mariodacat said...

Good post. he he - M used to work for P & G a 100 years ago. She didn't know about the Bounty with cats printed on it however. Talk about cute!

Fusa said...

I never seen the cat paper towels where we live. Probably good thing though or mom would buy out the entire supply!

Repositório said...

Funny post!

Michelle said...

CK, those bastards don't know who they messin' wit'!

The Island Cats said...

CK, I like shredding me some Bounty towels...but we've never seen these kitty ones in our parts. We can't wait to hear what ol' Mr. P and Mr. G hafta say.

Ernie

Marg said...

WE didn't know Bounty had cat prints. We didn't even know they had crappy Olympic prints. Gosh, we learn something every day. Too darn funny. CK, you are on a roll. Go get them. Have a great week end.

Katie and Glogirly said...

Maybe Glogirly Design needs to start Making paper towels! ; )

Live the letter, CK. Truly awesome.

xo, Katie

Brian said...

I am so glad you told them...so there!

Sparkle said...

You really told those P&G humans, CK!

CATachresis said...

Go for it, CK, but I think you should be a bit more forthright!!, xox

Katie Isabella said...

Good girl! GOOD girl!

dArtagnan Rumblepurr/Diego Hamlet Moonfur said...

You DON'T mess with CK!!!

(Great letter Miss CK. It's so frustrating that P&G do so many products it's hard to keep track. I sure wish they'd stop animal testing :( And SOON)

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

How are you so sure that they are "Misters????".......could be women :)

The paper towels must be a NY thing, have never seen them in the REAL "hood" of Detroit

Fluffbomb said...

You go Cousin! Me meowie has not ever seen those. And perhaps we never will....

XOXO, Fluffbomb

Sweet Purrfections said...

Way to tell them! We miss the cute cat paper towels, too!

Katie and Glogirly said...

Ok, I wrote my comment from my iPhone.

I LOVE the letter.
...ok, maybe I LIVE it too.

; )

Willow said...

Word CK the P & G humans need a good talking to for many reasons and your letter takes them rightly to task.

Also love how much this new blog reflects your purrsonal style Glogirly designs is pawsome.

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Woot, CK. I love it when you go on a tear like this. Verrrrrry sexay! XOXOXO

meowmeowmans said...

You sure told them, CK! We can hardly wait to see what they come back with.

Anonymous said...

and so 'there'! to P&G!!! We don't buy their stuff either...but lemme make sure...runs downstairs...starts pawing through cupboards...runs back to Dad...Dad, Dad...go look in the garage and toss anything that was made by P&G...Pompous & Greedy

The Cat From Hell said...

Dear CK
Bounty! We has it at our house, but it is always just plain! Me knows that google puts ads on blogs, but what gots me was the one on your blog was for Bounty and when me clicked it, me went to the Bounty site!
Me wonders if they knows....
Kisses
Nellie
PS - LOVE LOVE LOVE your new blog look!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Oh yeah, they're getting along good now that A&W give her a good swat to show that they are the boss of her. In fact, everybody in the house is the boss of her. She's cool with it, MOL!

Simba said...

PLEEZ post their response! And I DO like Katie and Glogirly's idea of Glogirly design paper towels!

Hafta say, we have not seen the cat print towels but dad buys cheap multipacks of Scott ones when they are on super sale at Shop Rite.