Cover Girl Cat

We innerrupt today's scheduled Senile Saturday so that we can bring you the Saturday Photo Hop. Senile Saturday will now be known as Senile Sunday so they don't conflict and will be coming your way tomorrow if I can get the lazy old coots to write something.

Yo! Whachoo doin' furrends? CK in da house.

Today's Photo Hunt theme Model is a topic near and dear to me as I've been a top model for years. I cannot go anywhere without the camera capturing my every move. I've grown up in front of the lens but have never grown used to the flash. Below is just a sample of some of the magazine covers my stunning face has graced. I can seduce millions with my billion dollar smile and tuxedo style.

Glamour is from 2012, along with my most recent covers.

My covers from 2010.

Mr. Fix-It

Pop bought me a new executive chair. There was one big problem. It came unassembled. It only took him 20 minutes to figure out how to put the wheels on which was the first step. MOL! I got ready for a long morning.

Can you see the anguish and concern on my face?

I sat on the bed to get the best angle to snoopervise as ~~the bumbling old geezer~~ Pop attempted to assemble the chair. Gasp! The wrench was missing! No, the wrench was found! I watched intently as he tried to make heads or tails of all the hundreds of pieces of chair. Just another piece of fine craftsmanship by the Zhejiang Henglin Chair Industry Company in Zhejiang Province of China. Let's say Pop needed an interpreter to read the instructions. Heh-heh. The anguish and concern is written on my face when Pop screwed up which arm went on which side. Note here that he blamed ME for the misleading information. Thanks, Pop. It was time for a scritching to relieve the tension. Ah, I feel better. At this point, I got bored and left the room. Good luck, Pop, with the rest of the assembly.

I later returned to see how ~~the bumbling old geezer~~ Pop was making out. Not well. Things had gone downhill without my snoopervision. I was now snoopervising from the hall, a safe distance away. Even from this distance, I could hear Pop's foul language and HBO words. He tried in vain to cover them up with laughter. I wasn't buying.

I jumped back on the bed because a spirited game of rockets was in order. I grew concerned when Pop enlisted TW's "help" to connect the back of the chair. Hey, Pop, she's "helping" me right now! Apparently, this was a 3-person job; counting me as snoopervisor. It took slightly over half a ~~day~~ hour. Now who would be brave enough to actually sit on it. Once again, ~~the cat~~ Pop was victorious! I had a new ~~executive~~ chair. There had to be some sort of mistake! This WASN'T an executive chair; it was a regular office chair!

Pop, what's the 411 on this? Pop said the room and desk wasn't big enough for an executive chair. I looked at Pop and then the chair, wondering how long this chair would hold up. I was reminded of that advert from W.B. Mason. I'm sure you've seen the one where the chairs all fall apart. Can we get bets on how long this one will last?

I'm working hard snoopervising Pop assemble the chair. I've got the best seat in the house.

Wednesday Word—Dream

Pop says I'm watching history!

I have a dream today.

"… When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every tenement and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old spiritual, "Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last."

Dr. Martin Luther King said those words 50 years ago today. Sadly, 50 years later, this great land of ours is going backward when it comes to civil rights. Our young people are still being shot by vigilantes for being in the wrong place, even if it's in front of their home. The Supreme Court recently struck down the most important portion of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. There's lots of work left to be done.

I share Dr. King's Dream.

I grew up in da hood in Jersey City so my soul lies with the brothers and sisters Today is a very important day in the annals of history. We cannot let Congress turn back the hands of time and pretend Dr. King's words at that most important march on Washington never happened. Last Saturday at a rally hosted by Dr. King's son and the Rev. Al Sharpton, almost 200,000 people gathered and were re-energized to tackle injustice and income inequality head on.

Once again we have to refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We have to reject the haters and move forward. Always, keep moving forward with love in our hearts to reclaim those riches and spread those riches to include all God's creatures, whether biped or quadruped. Let every anipal have the riches of a forever home and let there be justice for anipals abused and maimed by human hands. Until humans can treat each other with dignity and without malice, we can't expect them to bestow rights on anipals. Until that day, we can expect black cats like Ray Charles and Rachel and dogs will stay in shelters, unadopted, because of superstition. Let freedom ring for all. Let's keep the Dream alive.

You can see Dr. King's speech here on YouTube.

Tuxie Tunnel Tuesday

I think I killed the Tunnel of Pain and Suffering. Don't you?

For some reason, TW had the picture size on the camera set for postage stamp size when she took these fotos back in 2011. Not sure what she was thinking.

EZ Sunday in My New Hidey Hole

You read that right. I thought I'd found the perfect new hiding place to snooze in peace. You can't let the peeps get too comfortable knowing where you are. This little ghetto kitteh has to constantly keep finding new places to nap where she won't be disturbed. I thought they'd never find me on Pop's armoire until … I was rudely interrupted.

Whatchoo want, Woman!

SCRAM! VAMOOSE! GO! GO!

Then the flashy box made an appearance. You'll notice that my eyes are wide open in all these photos. If I want some shut eye, I'll have to search for a new hidey hole. TW and the flashy box really knows how to interrupt an EZ Sunday. I might as well wash myself. Maybe she'll go away.

I used to always lay on Pop's armoire until he rearranged his room. I'd walk across the top of his tv to get up there. They were afraid I'd knock the tv over so they moved my snoozing spot.

The joke's on them cos I've rediscovered how comfy the armoire is. Pop has a nice comfy quilt on it and a nice sunlamp to keep me warm. Anyone know of a great place to snooze where your peep can't find you? I promise I won't give you away. My kitty lips are sealed.

Be it Ever So Humble…

…There's no place like Rome but since I'm not in Rome, I axed my mirror to give me the straight dope on Humble, which is today's Photo Hunt theme. As everybuddy knows, Humble is practically my middle name. Here's what my mirror replied.

Why I'm NOT at Barkworld

Yo! Whachoo doin' furrends? CK in da house.

Bet you're wondering why a stunning cat with a popular blog like mine isn't at BarkWorld. Here's the skinny. George the Duck has been crashing here since Blogpaws with the promise that we'd send him to BarkWorld this weekend. Wednesday night, Prudence's Mom came to pick him up cos she had his plane ticket and TW isn't going. TW and Pru's Mom got to talking—blah blah yakety yak—and TW forgot all about ME. Plush ME was all packed and ready to go see my furrends in Hotlanta! Whoa! How could TW forget all about Plush ME?! She's owes me big-time for this omission. Blood will be shed.

George and I waiting to go to BarkWorld.

If you see George at BarkWorld, tell him to bring me back something and to have a stiff drink for me. It's so hard to find good help these days. Should TW be fired for this infraction? Sigh!

PS: I don't know who started this rumor but TW DID NOT GO TO BARKWORLD! She's sitting right here and, thus, cannot bring any treats back for me!!

Wednesday Word—Claws

Yo! Whachoo doin' furrends? CK in da house.

My famous furrend Sparkle has coined the phrase Smacky Paws of Doom. That works for the majority of cats but not for me. Behold my Smacky Claws of Destruction.

Yes, our claws are weapons of mass destruction. Some of us, like my half brofur who came before me, use them to destroy their cat trees. Some use them to cause destruction to carpet, sofas, floors, you name it. Here's what I use my Smacky Claws of Destruction for.

Looka! I see a drop of blood ready to spill! SCORE!

I barely grazed TW's hand with my Smacky Claws of Destruction and managed to draw blood though not as much as I would have liked. Yes, she's still fooling around with that Super Mackerel setting so you can see every dried out pore in her ancient hand. I have super sharp claws cos no one has the onions to trim them. The peeps wouldn't try and the last 2 vet techs wouldn't touch them. Nobody wants to mess with purrfection.

No furniture was scratched during this photo shoot but I can't say the same about TW.

I must give kudos to Nicky, one of the cats that came before me. He did some good work. I understand he totally ruined a couple of chairs and a carpet in the old house. Here is the cat tree he was working on. Can you believe how small and pitiful that cat tree is? Poor cat—that was the only furniture he had too!

What do you use your Smacky Claws of Destruction for? Do you let your peeps trim them?

Supersize Me!

Yo! Whachoo doin' furrends? CK in da house.

Imagine how thrilled I was when my furrend Simba's human took my advice and used the Mackerel setting on her camera to photograph a butterfly in the yard. By now, you know I'm all about helping my furrends. I gotta tell you though, TW is outta control!!!! When she told me she was getting the Super Mackerel, I thought I'd be eating fresh fish for the next week! I didn't know it was yet another fancy setting on the flashy box. Now she's using the Super Mackerel setting and getting much too close and personal with me. In fact, she's been getting so close, I've been forced to bite her to make her back off. Look at those fotos! Who really wants to see closeups of my nose or my eyes? She says they may come in handy some time in the future. Listen Woman, if you keep this up you may not have a future with this blog. I may hire someone competent to take your place!

The key is you don't want to use flash if you're gonna get this close and personal. Pity there's no closeup of my teeth. HAH! Maybe I could double-dare TW.

I think she's getting rather nosy, don't you?

The eyes have it and I've about had it with TW!

Put all that stunningness together and you get: one very annoyed kitteh.

Do the Swanky Panky

Today's Photo Hunt theme is swanky. This past February, I attended the Nipclub Monthly pawty in Monte Carlo, which was certainly trés swanky. I played the field and the slots and had success with both. This foto was taken during a break in the action. To quote two of the songs I played that night, I had my poker face on cos this was my lucky day.

I had to go out of town for the Photo hunt cos let me tell you, there's nothing in our condo that's close to fitting the definition of swanky. Maybe if I had a litter box that looks like this, it would qualify. I wrote about these Glitterboxes last March hoping I could convince Pop to buy me one. After he stopped laughing, I learned that my lucky streak was about to end. Would your human buy you a swanky little box like this?

That's real gold in case you're wondering.

Rumor and Innuendo

Don't believe the rumors. They're 100% NOT untrue. Got it! I would never purr for TW. Not in a million years. She just thinks she heard purring while she was playing rockets with me on Pop's bed this week. HAH! As if. It was probably her indigestion that she heard.

Do I look like I'm purring?

Glogirly has been blogging about some sort of milk spill at the townhouse; which, of course, Waffles was in the middle of. Literally. At the condo, we've had our share of spills lately. TW has been spilling everything in an open container on the table. She's knocked over half full cups of tea twice and then spilled a ladle-full of tomato gravy all over the front of the stove, the floor and her jeans. The other day was the coup de grâce when she went to move the newspaper from one side of the table to the other and it hit and knocked over her cereal. The milk went all over the floor and the cereal sat in a lump on the paper. MOL! I wasn't even in the room so she couldn't blame me. If I HAD been in the room, you can bet I would've had the flashy box out to document everything. To TW's credit, there was no crying or HBO words. She's just sort of resigned to the fact that she can't do anything right. Pity.

Wednesday Word—Mackerel

Have my furrends noticed that TW has been taking better quality pictures of me lately? I've noticed it and that's what really counts. No, she hasn't gotten new glasses or anything like that. Of course you'll still see blurry out-of-focus fotos since we still use file footage occasionally. I'm going to share the secret why TW has been taking clearer pics.

She went back to her older Olympus SP-320 camera. It's the first digital point and shoot she ever owned. She swears by Olympus cameras. She's had 2 digitals since then but that camera is still the best.
She read Glogirly's hints for taking pictures of four-legged models such as myself. TW read them and took them to heart, making her own important adjustments.
The mackerel setting became her friend.

Mackerel setting is circled.

Glogirly suggested getting as close to the subject as possible in bright natural light and shooting. That wouldn't work for us. The only time we have bright outdoor lighting in the condo is from sun rise until about 9 a.m. and both myself and TW are sleeping during those unGodly hours. TW needed to find something that worked to help her show my true stunningness in fotos. Then she started using the Mackerel setting, which is depicted as a stoopy flower symbol on most cameras. Don't ax me why they didn't use a symbol that looked like a fish. I suppose that would be too obvious. If you're rich or really into Photography, you have a swanky camera with a special mackerel lens. TW used to have one of those back in the Stone Age. You know BDC—Before Digital Cameras.

As for the fotos: judge for yourself.

Before

After

Pretty startling, isn't it. Cos, she still insists on cutting the tip of my ear off. FWIW, I still think these flashy things are going to blind me someday. What are some of your human's photography tricks?

Mr. Postman

♫ ♩ Mr. Postman look and see / if there's a package, a package for me ♪ ♪ is the song I was singing this week. You see, lately, I've been getting stiffed quite a bit. I'll win something but never see the prize. Christmas left a bad taste in this ghetto kitteh's mouth. First I never got my Secret Santa package—which I may add A Tonk's Tail more than made up for—but then TW won a raffle from the Santa Paws Drive. We waited and waited for that rug to show up. It never did. I contacted both Santa Paws' elves Dorian and Selina and they both contacted the person who was supposed to send it out and never got a response. Let me give a huge public raspberry to the folks at Kritter Kondo. HISSSSSSS!!!!

MINE!!!!!

Next, I won the Silly Saturday Photo Caption Contest over at The Teacher's Pets back in February. I sent her my address on February 25th and still haven't received my silly gifts. She was contacted and never replied. To her I send a huge public raspberry. HISSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮ ☮

A couple of weeks ago, I won a drawing over at The Cat On My Head. Imagine my surprise when Mr. Postman delivered a package from Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Lisbeth, Astrid and Calista Jo. What a great package: Temptations, 3 homemade nip pillows, and a the Cat's Meow, which is similar to the Undercover Mouse. Thanks, purrz and a wet kitty kiss to Janet and her Kitties Blue. MWAHHH!

This nip pillow is great and it's you can't have it!

My BFGF Savvy from Savannah Paw Tracks recently axed if I wanted a 3-way tunnel like hers. Who wouldn't? I nearly jumped outta my claws saying YES!! My tunnel only took a week to arrive. Many, many thanks, purrz and wet kitty kisses to Savvy and Mom Linda. MWAHHH!! (They also sent me the wonderful leopard tunnel in the foto.)

Check out the setup I got here. Welcome to the CK Transit Hub. Come visit me.
This wouldn't be so cramped if the peeps threw out their couch.

I also won a Kitty Cabana from Pet Tuff Products over at Ask Fisher which arrived a few weeks later. The guy at Pet Tuff actually felt bad that he didn't send it out quicker and included a super soft blankie in the package. Unfortunately, TW has yet to set up the Cabana using such excuses as our condo is too small for all my stuff. I've made the suggestion that they toss out the couch and buy a couple of folding chairs that they can put away when they're not using them. The peeps didn't appreciate my not-so-subtle suggestions. I'm sure they want me to apologize to Jobi and Fisher that it's still sitting in the box.

That should be ME in that cabana but the peeps won't assemble mine.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention @EdnaAtNutro, who made sure I got the Greenies' SmartBites I won at Daffy's fundraising pawty, Jenny at Floppycats.com who sent the Petstages Cat Toy Package which consisted of a Scratch Snuggle and Rest and a Kick & Scratch, and Sass for the pretty red Purrito Wrapper blankie she sent despite the horrible situation she's currently going through. Visit her shop Live Love Meow! and help her out. She's currently having a SALE. Edna's panfur Panky has his own blog Man Cat Musings so what are you lady cats waiting for? The PetStages toys will most likely go to A Call 4 Paws since I don't scratch on cardboard scratchers. Purrz and hugz all around from the World's Most Stunning Cat.

Am I Blue?

I'm once again taking part in the Saturday Photo Hunt. This one was easy. In fact, it was so easy, I had trouble deciding which way to take it. Blue is my best color after all. My stunning PetFinder pics were taken against a blue background that set off my gray furs perfectly. I love to lay on Pop's blue bamboo blankie and we have so many pics of me laying on it. Finally, Pop suggested a take on an old album cover. I present to you Cathy Keisha—Blue!

da Vine is divine.

Last summer we experienced The Attack of the Killer Moths in the condo. It was awful. The peeps killed them before I could eat them. This year I've only seen one and I've eaten the tasty little sucker. Last year, they feasted on the feathers and long furs on my toys. The peeps countered that attack by throwing out most of my toys. Of course, they didn't throw out anything of theirs! I could say something about that but I'm too polite. My furrends Pumpkinpuddy, A Tonk's Tail gang and Baby Patches, Chief Kit at NipandBones.com sent me very much appreciated care packages and I've won some other toys at Nipclub and on blogs. I thought I'd show you how my toy basket looks a year later. TW keeps toys in here that don't have feathers and ones I use most often. There's only one kicker with a feather in here and nothing better attack it except me!

TW ~~holds my toys hostage~~ keeps the toys I'm not currently using in this carrier thing sealed in a plastic bag to keep vermin out and the nip and vine smells in. She sez it's at capacity but, as you can plainly see, there's plenty of room. Her claim is that she likes to rotate my toys so I don't get tired of anything but she's just a toy gestapo who has to be in charge of everything.

Pop's bed is where I put my special toys. I have my heart from Buzzy, my iridescent smousy from Parker, Allie's snowman, 2 smousey toys from the Island Cats and the Packer's toy from Mario along with my peppermint stick which was the first toy Pop bought for me. It cost 1¢ and it's the best. You can see how flat it is cos I beat all the nip out of it. HAH!

Now that I've showed you my toys, I want to tell you about a special offer to add to your toy basket while helping one of our furrends aid a bunch of kitties. Andrea and the Celestial Kitties are holding a Winnie’s Wish Summer FUNdraiser. For a minimum donation of $15 ($18 for International furrends), you can get four kitty toys including a fish, smousy, bird and butterfly! You can request the toys be filled with nip, Silvervine or neither. I've requested the evil vine. The proceeds go to the Winnie’s Wish Rescue at Daily Dose of Dogs (aka Cats With Your Coffee). For complete details of the FUNdraiser, please visit the Celestial Kitties.

Check out these pretty toys (photo left). Bet you can't wait to kick, throw and maul them within an inch of their lives! I'm glad they come as a set cos I wouldn't be able to pick just one!

Can we play rockets, TW. I'm bored. I have nothing to play with.

Wednesday Word—Nightmare

Do any of you guys have nightmares? I had a bad one the other night. Lemme tell you a bit about what precipitated it.

I was in my blue mauve thing when I awoke with a start!! WTF?

I've read lots of kittehs writing about the evil VC but have yet to run across any cat talking about my personal peeve: The Hair Vacuum! That contraption scares the bejesus outta me. Seriously. OK, nothing actually "scares" me but that annoys the bejesus outta me.

Not only is the hair vacuum every bit as noisy as the VC, it's also very very hot. TW yells at me if I come too close cos she claims it could burn me. I say anything that could burn the kitteh shouldn't be allowed in the condo. She doesn't use it often but she used it yesterday and got my fur all ruffled up and caused the following nightmare. Please don't let any kittens read this or they'll have nightmares too.

I was being chased by the tandem of an evil VC AND a dastardly hair vacuum (HV)! They had me surrounded! What could I do? I hissed! I spit! Still they kept coming. The HV was getting hotter! The VC was getting, er, suckier! Both were getting louder and louder! That's when I woke up … sweating.

Do your peeps use the Hair Vacuum? Do you think they should be banned?

Red Carpet Ride

Hi! This is CK coming to you from the Red Carpet. Where else would I be when there are awards to be handed out? Excuse me while I remove my sunglasses and pose for the pawpawrazzi. I was made for moments like this! Doncha think? Let's go inside and view the action. They're handing out the first award!

Shiva and Jaya: On behalf of the two of us, I would like to pass on the Bestest Kitty Blogger in the Cosmos Award to Ms. Cathy Keisha!!! *appaws appaws*

*CK puts paws up to her head*

CK: OMC!! I can't believe this! I won!!! Thank you Purrime Ministerettes Shiva and Jaya. This is the best award ever and I'm honored to accept it for all those kittehs still homeless and in shelters who cannot have blogs of their own. I strive to be the bestest blogger and now I am. *kisses Shiva and Jaya on cheek*

Whoa! Layla Morgan Wilde of Cat Wisdom 101 is taking the stage with Odin, Domino, Gris Gris and Merlin. They're giving out the My Favourite Things Award. Yesssss, they're reading my name! I won this award last month too but I'm thrilled to be a two time winner.

CK: Thank you Layla, Odin, Domino, Gris Gris and Merlin. Just cos I already listed my favorite things won't stop me for graciously accepting this award from you. I like ♫ Biting my humans and forever homes for kitties / foam rubber rockets and springs I can hitty / SilverVine pillows and long coated strings / These are a few of my favourite things. ♫ Greenies SmartBites and peacock feather / Fancy Feast tuna and scratching on leather / wild salmon paté and FURminator on my skins / These are some more of my favourite things ♫ Well, actually, I don't scratch on leather. Heh heh.

Now the best part: I get to announce the next group of winners of the Bestest Kitty Blogger in the Cosmos Award. The competition was fierce but the aCATemy has chosen wisely. The winners are:

Brian's Home

Sparkle the Designer Cat

Savannah Paw Tracks

Katie and Glogirly

Austin of CATachresis

Hope you enjoyed the show. If you didn't hear your name called today, there's always next year. *appaws appaws*

EZ Sunday

I've been taking it EZ a lot on my blog lately. I was sleeping Friday on Coup d'Pillow but Sunday is the official EZ.

I'm doing EZ on TW's chair, which I liberated right out from under her. It was give up the chair or get bit. She chose the right option. Excuse me while I close my eyes and dream about a certain mancat.