I was going to blog this week about the different ways in which I've avoided taking my meds these past 3 weeks. As you know, I was diagnosed with
Bartonella virus aka Cat Scratch Fever and was sentenced to antibiotics for 21 days. Pop decided it would be a good idea to grab me first thing in the morning—after he had dressed for work—and have TW ram the eyedropper into my mouth. Not such a good idea since I had a better idea. My idea was to let the meds—thick brown smelly stuff—trickle out of my mouth all over his good designer shirts. Two days left and he still hasn't learned to use a towel to protect his shirts. Pre-treat became a household word around this place on wash day.
|
The 4-lb chocolate bunny |
Now for my main blog subject: gluttony. For 4 years, the peeps rationed me to ⅓ of a 5 oz can of wet food and a scoop full of dry kibble every day. Meanwhile, they ate everything that could fit into their mouths including the 4-lb chocolate rabbit that came into our house at Easter time. I'd say, they ate it in about 4 days, which would be 8 servings in total. This week, came the 2-pound brownie. I wish I had a picture of it; but I was a couple of days too late. Seems someone neglected to tell the gluttons that 1/4 pound of brownie was NOT one serving. Pathmark neglected to cut the brownie into proper servings so the peeps cut into it with glee. I'm sure Pathmark figured 2 pounds of brownies would feed a bunch of kids at a Halloween party, not two adults who don't know when they've had enough. It was a binge for the ages. On the other hand, the 2½ lb bag of apples TW bought is still sitting there one week later. I count 7 apples still sitting in it. Yum, they'll eat an apple and wash it down with a quarter pound of brownie. Then they'll tell you they ate a healthy apple for dessert. If they needed their stomachs pumped, they'd tell the doctors to pump the apple out but leave the chocolate. The thing that gets me is if they buy a box of chocolates, they limit themselves to 3 little pieces a night. It's open season on uncut brownies though.
Pop thinks because he walks 3½ miles a day at lunchtime, it gives him license to eat brownie until it comes out his tuckus, wherever that it. TW, she's been very depressed and what better way to cheer up than with a brownie orgy. Besides, it would be a shame for the brownie to go bad so they might as well enjoy it while it's still fresh. The thing is Pop is a tad over-weight but TW was thin but has started letting herself go. By the time, I become a lap cat, I won't have a lap to sit in, if you know what I mean. The peeps will be round as pumpkins.
Tonight, while stuffing their faces, Pop mentioned that he was online and noticed
Krause's Homemade Candy had a 4-lb chocolate pumpkin and ... I knew what was coming next. Gak, I felt the bile rising in my throat. I think I managed to talk him into waiting for the 4-lb Santa at Christmas. And me, I'm getting an entire 3-oz can of food now. Whoopee! I think it'll all going to my hips, too.
|
Look at this! Finished by the 5th inning |
Their gluttony is not limited to chocolate, although that's the main culprit. I've told some of my Twitter furrends about the popcorn and 32-oz bong of strawberry daiquiri the peeps had at the last ballgame of the season. A week later, they're still working on the last kernels of popcorn but the drink was gone by the 5th inning. To be fair, so was about three-quarters of the popcorn. Do you know how much salt was in that popcorn? And Pop with his high blood pressure. Soon, I'm gonna be ramming meds into HIS mouth.
Next week, I heard Pathmark was having a BOGO on the leftover 1-lb brownies. That would add up to, let's see, one meal apiece. After all, they aren't cut into servings so they must be single helpings. I'm beginning to think they need Chocoholics Anonymous.