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Cathy Keisha goes Hollywood

The woman has ruined my opportunity for stardom. She's crushed my dreams! I know I'm already a virtual star on Twitter, an award-winning blogger and a highly sought after virtual dj, but she's ruined my chance for real fame. As they say, "I coulda been someone."

This morning, as she made her way down the street from her shopping trip, she saw flashing lights and lots of people standing around. Concerned that something bad had happened, she asked Rick, the concierge of our building who was standing outside watching, what was going on. He told her they were filming Mercy, a tv show on NBC about doctors and nurses.

Naturally, when she told me, I couldn't WAIT to get outside and be part of the action. I'm so stunning, I know if I could just get my paw inside the door, I'd be the next big Hollywood starlet. Everyone would want a piece of Cathy Keisha.

My name in lights!

I can see it now. My name in lights. The papawrazzi elbowing each other as my famous new Twitter furrend Morris the Cat and I walk the red carpet together. Jetting to L.A. to be on the Tonight Show. Jetting back to N.Y. for my movie premiere. Jetting to Miami to record with Beyonce and JayZ. Jetting to Paris to walk the cat walk with a bunch of anoretic girls all jealous of my figure and stunning looks. Finally getting the recognition I deserve. The headlines: "The Truth About Cathy Keisha & Tiger Woods" and "Cathy Keisha: Buzz Lucas—My One and Only Love." My own i-phone. Hell, my own i-phone app! Meeting all the biggest stars, even the President! It was going to be like a dream if only I could get out of the house.

The magazine covers

Ma said she had never heard of the show and I was an indoor cat. I begged--and believe me, cats aren't used to begging. I pleaded. I cried but she would not let me out of the apartment. Sigh. What's a cat to do. Then she put the [censored] ball game on. A meaningless Spring Training game trumped Keisha's dream of greatness! Hmmmmph!

I'm not going to be the only one upset tonight when Pop learns that Michelle Trachtenberg, who played Dawn on "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" is on that show and she didn't get him an autograph or even a photo. All because the woman is jealous of my youth and my virtual celebrity. "Of course, I'll give you a paw print!"

Picture Contest: It's in the Bag!

I was tagged by two wonderful furrends to participate in the Photo Game. Both my fellow anipal dj Yoda_The_Dog and the ultra-cool sista Shelly, aka grrlysquirrel, think I'm so stunning, they want to see more pictures of me. This is a cool idea. Here are the rules of this "game":

Open your first photo folder
Scroll down to the 10th photo
Post the 10th photo and tell the story about it
Tag 5 other blogs

Without further do-do, er, ado, here's Keisha in the 10th photo.

As a cat, I love climbing into bags. As a woman, the woman loves shopping and bringing bags into the house. Her office just happened to be across the street from Macy's flagship store in Herald Square and she couldn't have been happier. Lunch hours were spent in that store. This particular time, she brought home new towels.

New towels were great for two reasons; the second being the best one. It meant my old rescue group, CAP, would get the old towels. Now Ma never just bought ONE set of new towels, she always bought more than one since she could never make the big decision over which color she liked better. More good news for CAP.

The 3rd part of this story is the warning to always cut the handles off any bags you bring into the house when you have cats. The peeps usually left the handles on cos they used the bags to recycle old newspapers and magazines. Nicky and Autumn left the bags alone so there were no problems. Enter Keisha! I got my head caught in one of those bags and went tearing through the house in a panic. Pop panicked too. For one time—and one time only—Ma kept a level head. Luckily, I was small and I worked the handles down to my mid-section. The woman called me over calmly and cut the handles so I could make my escape.

I guess if you've already received the award, you can post the 20th picture in your folder, or try another folder! I can't wait to see your photos and read the stories behind them.

Wordless Washday Wednesday

Camera Shy

For some reason, the woman decided to take a lot of pictures of me last weekend. Every time I turned around, that stupid camera was flashing in my face.I hate that MFing thing! It's not that I'm camera shy, it's that [censored] flash! It hurts my sensitive eyes but does she care? Whether I was playing, eating, sleeping, there it was! She even took pictures of my feet, for crying out loud! Yo! I know I'm stunning so quit with that instrument of torture. I felt like Naomi Campbell. I guess that's why I wound up slugging Ma in the eye. It didn't hurt me one tiny bit. She wasn't too mad because I didn't have my claws out or it would have been another trip to the ER. Surprisingly enough, some of the pictures even turned out to be in focus. Score one of the woman!

Here are some of the pictures she took.

Can you tell how cool I am from this pic? I'm just chillin on my cat tree, my new fave spot to hang.

Goddamn it, woman! Can't a kitteh catch some zzzz's?

I'm posing here. This is an exceptionally stunning one.

Can't you see that I'm playing w/my Pop! C'mon, scat!

Yo Bitch, get that camera outta my face while I'm nomming. Yeah, I know I'm on the counter!

These feet are made for kicking and that's just what they'll do if'n you don't LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows

My sweet furrend Mario Roever aka Mariodacat (pictured below) recently presented me with the Sunshine Award because my blog puts a smile on his face. I'm honored that he chose me for this award because the objective of this blog is to make my furrends laugh; however, these awards seem almost the equivalent of blog chain letters since I now have to pass it along to 12 other bloggers or I will have a year's worth of bad luck. HAH! Actually, I made up the bad luck part ... or did I?

I'm going to tempt the Gods and only give it to 6 other blogs because most of the other's I read religiously have already received it. Besides, I gave the Scrap Award to 10 blogs and only 2 or 3 ever mentioned it so [censored] to the rest.

My favorite blog is Albert the Cat's blog which are wonderful pearls of wisdom from the feline world as he aptly discribes it. I cannot wait for him to update each day and tell me the new adventures of he, his poncy brother and stupid sister. I must admit I'm a late-comer to his adventures since we just became Twitter furrends. A must-read.

Another good read is Christopher's Groove. He combines social commentary with the story of the little kitty Abby that was left with his human Mom.

I can't furget the cutest doggie on the planet, Busy Buttons Busy, Busy Buttons. She sure is one busy dog who enjoys playing with her squeaky toys and (allegedly) knocking over garbage cans and her tails, er, tales never fail to make me laugh.

Who can forget GeorgeTheDuck. com when you're writing about fabulous blogs? I love the photos and reading his insights about each one.

Siamese Peaches is such a cute little kitteh that I have to include her blog. It's mostly pictures but that little face is precious. How can you not smile when you see her?

The last one I'm going to give it to because my paws are tired of typing is Kitty Kitty. Isis and Denali's blog is a ray of sunshine every time it is updated.

There's something wrong with you if these blogs don't put a smile on your face. If I didn't mention your blog, it's either because you already received this award or I'm getting senile. Make that, the woman's getting senile.

Now for the rules. By accepting the award, I have to give "sunshine" to 12 other blogs that light up my life. Then link the nominees in the post about the Sunshine Award and let them know they were nominated by commenting on their blog. OK, I did the first part now all I have to do is spread the joy by commenting on the 6 blogs listed above. Remember to pass along the sunshine to 12 other unsuspecting furrends! And, if you don't within 48 hours of receiving my comment, your fur will turn orange and fall off. Not to mention, I'll stop following you. HAH!

Addendum to blog: This is in no way intended to offend Mario; it's to poke fun at these awards. I love Mario and his M and D very much and wouldn't hurt them for anything in the world. His blog is one of the most entertaining and likable on the internet.

SciFi Pawty

So this Saturday is BorisKitty's Scifipawty, which I won't be dj'ing; but I've decided, being the nice kitteh I am, that I will attend. I'm not carrying no grudges since it's not a 24-hour pawty. I've narrowed it down to three "looks." I need my furrends' help in deciding which one to use.

First is "Buzz" Keisha, the astronaut. You all know that I'm dating Buzz Lucas so this makes a lot of sense.

Buzz Keisha on the moon

Next is some sort of martian cartoon figure, which Ma photoshopped boobs on for me.

Martian Keisha off on a new adventure

Here's another picture to confuse you even more that we furgot about: Sexy Keisha Spacewoman. It's kinda cute, wouldn't you say?

You know you want me, Space Cowboy!

I know I look stunning in all three. Please leave a comment and let me know which one you prefer. I trust you guys a lot more than I trust the peeps.

Last week I saw the culmination of my life's work become a reality, with the debut of on Facebook. Since I was a kitten, I dreamed of starting a network of biting cats on the Internet and now I've realized that dream. If you're a cat on Facebook and you enjoy the art of biting, please look at us and become a member. Another dream would be to have a sponsor such as Ralston Purina.

There's no greater way to get your peeps attention than the "drive by" bite, when they're walking down the hall and not paying attention to you. I guarantee that they'll be chasing you in no time at all. There's nothing a human likes better than the element of surprise so make sure they'll be surprised when you attack without warning, especially in the dark or while you're purring in their arms. This can be a fun game for both of you if your peeps are into pain. A hint that you're a biting cat may be if you own stock in Bacitracin like I do.

Now your staff may wonder what to do once you put the bitey on them and the blood is dripping everywhere. Here are some pointers from my peeps.

After the attack, wash the wound, whether it's bleeding or not, with water and anti-bacterial soap. Next wash it out with hydrogen peroxide. Now you're ready to apply the bacitracin and a bandage. The reason for the bandage is to keep the antibiotic on it as long as possible. Bad things will happen if the bite or scratch gets infected. Don't laugh because people who don't take care can wind up having to have hands, etc amputated if infection and abscess sets in. Peeps say that there are many forms of bacteria in a cat's mouth; but I say peeps have more.

Now let the biting begin and keep the bacitracin flowing! I own stock in it, you know.

More of my Crib

Welcome back to my crib. Grab a snack and then we'll head into the main bedroom. This is actually my room cos it's the room where the computer is at. I spend most of my waking hours typing at that computer. And surprise, the wallpaper is a picture of me as it should be!

Right at the entrance is my 2nd water dish. The peeps want to keep me well hydrated. This is the only dish I drink out of. I never touch the one in the kitchen. We used to have a really great dish but TW broke it. I cried over that dish even though it was a hand-me-down. Now we have one from NipandBones.

My kitteh bed is situated at the foot of the bed. Pop doesn't have a pillowtop mattress so his bed is kind of hard. He says its good for his bad back. I don't know why my comfort shouldn't come before his, but I love my Pop so I might let it slide.

Next we have my other toy basket, which sits in my old kitty bed. Most of the toys are reruns from the box in my play room. This basket is for display. I'm not sure the peeps know it's there. MOL!

If I don't wish to nap in my kitty bed, there are a couple of other pillows that I can climb up and rest on. Ideally, the peeps put them up high so I can't lay on them, but you can't keep anything from me. Note to peeps: have legs, can jump!

In this room is the famous "puke rug" that Autumn used to puke up on when she had the cancer. This is a very special Tibetan rug so props go to Autumn. Don't worry, you can't actually see the puke. It's all been cleaned up.

I have a litter box in the bathroom but Ma won't let me show it. She says no one wants to see it. Out in the main hallway is another litter box. This is the one I use most of the time. I have 2 because the peeps had 2 cats who didn't get along and they each had one. It's fun to have them guessing which box I used every day. Hmmmm, looks like it needs a scooping. Yo, bi-atch! What, I don't pay you enough. Less mouth and more scoop! Sorry you guys had to hear that.

Lastly, the hall also features the cat food storage area. Ta daaaaa! PetSmart has nothing on my peeps. They always have all flavors on hand. Yummy! I think it's time for me to eat something now. Lemme pick one out. I think I want the Elegant Medleys on top there.

As you can see, this IS my crib! I have the peeps well trained to buy whatever it is that I want. Not a whole lot of people furniture or toys in here and that's the way I want it.

Thanks for visiting my crib. Take a gift bag on the way out and, yo! you! stay outta my dish AND leave those cans alone! Hiss!