IBite.net

Last week I saw the culmination of my life's work become a reality, with the debut of IBite.net on Facebook. Since I was a kitten, I dreamed of starting a network of biting cats on the Internet and now I've realized that dream. If you're a cat on Facebook and you enjoy the art of biting, please look at us and become a member. Another dream would be to have a sponsor such as Ralston Purina.

There's no greater way to get your peeps attention than the "drive by" bite, when they're walking down the hall and not paying attention to you. I guarantee that they'll be chasing you in no time at all. There's nothing a human likes better than the element of surprise so make sure they'll be surprised when you attack without warning, especially in the dark or while you're purring in their arms. This can be a fun game for both of you if your peeps are into pain. A hint that you're a biting cat may be if you own stock in Bacitracin like I do.

Now your staff may wonder what to do once you put the bitey on them and the blood is dripping everywhere. Here are some pointers from my peeps.

After the attack, wash the wound, whether it's bleeding or not, with water and anti-bacterial soap. Next wash it out with hydrogen peroxide. Now you're ready to apply the bacitracin and a bandage. The reason for the bandage is to keep the antibiotic on it as long as possible. Bad things will happen if the bite or scratch gets infected. Don't laugh because people who don't take care can wind up having to have hands, etc amputated if infection and abscess sets in. Peeps say that there are many forms of bacteria in a cat's mouth; but I say peeps have more.

Now let the biting begin and keep the bacitracin flowing! I own stock in it, you know.