A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Blogpaws

Neither earthquake, aftershocks, hurricanes or heavy traffic could keep TW from attending Blogpaws last week. Believe me, this little cat tried to dissuade her by playing the lonely card. It didn't work. Can you believe, TW raised funds for the trip by selling two pairs of Yankee tickets (face value, of course) and some old broken gold chains she had lying around that this little cat from the hood hadn't already hocked. Gotta learn where she hides this sort of stuff.

Early Thursday morning, Prudence's Mom picked TW up—and boy was she heavy, ha ha You hit an all-time low in puns there, woman!—and they headed for I-95. Without me. Oh sure, they brought HHGutt, who they had the stones to call "Fake Cathy Keisha," but real fur and bones Keisha was stuck at home, as was Pop. It took forever, but she called to let us know that she'd arrived but—GASP—the Swag Bag didn't have any cat stuff in it even though it was supposed to be a CAT bag! What's THAT all about?

TW and Prudence's Mom, Theresa, soon ran into Boris Kitty's Humanz2, who brought Edgar Kitty and then George the Duck's Typist, who had George with her! There are just a couple of Twitter anipals that we consider Legends and he's right at the top of the list.

She met a bunch more anipal peeps at the reception later that evening. I'm afraid if I start naming them, I'll leave somebody out and they won't like us anymore. Nevertheless, she was delighted to meet and talk with all. She did meet the other legend—Bunny Jean Cook's Mom too! I was inspired by Bunny Jean's set at the first Pawpawty I attended to try my paw at becoming a DJ. TW shared a hotel room with Theresa and Maggie T Kat and Parker S Kat's Mom. I apologize to them for all of HHGutt's flies and Mexican music. I can't believe she bought that [censored] along instead of me! [ED: And I apologize for the political incorrectness of my cat. We have nothing against Mexican people OR cats, do we CK?]

What else can I tell you? Her favorite speakers were the guys from Rescue Ink. If you abuse animals, they'll mess you up REAL good. Heh heh. She went to a bunch of seminars and realized that this little blog is a very tasty, er, tiny fish in a vast ocean of bloggers vying for attention. We all know there are 24 hours in a day and no one has time to read and comment on them all. Likewise, she realized that advertisers are gonna want more than my 150 loyal followers to make a career of this. It's back to pounding the pavement for her. She also learned how hard it is to self-publish and sell to more than your immediate family. Her balloon was bursted but she still did have a super time being away from me, I might add.

To read the captions, click on the picture.

She went to see the premiere of a really cute movie, named Spooky Buddies, that Disney is putting out on DVD on September 20. Can you believe she liked a DOG movie? Has she no shame?

On the last day, they had a raffle for an i-pawd and Prudence's Mom WON! She already had one so she GAVE her older i-pawd to me! Can you believe it? This world is not such a cold place, after all. When you have a chance, visit her blog and thank her for her kindness. Concats all around!

Another high point in TW's weekend was attending the Anipal Times pawty with my Twitter furrend's—@Seabasscat, @bunnyjeancook, @cokiethecat, @tildatoo, and @MaggieTKat—peeps. She said they shared lots of gossip and laughs. They even put in conference calls to @Mariodacat and @PepiSmartDog! Then on Sunday, they were joined for breakfast by @BZTAT, the famous artist who painted the mural for Okey's Promise, which is a great cause, linking animal abuse with domestic violence against women and children. Please go to their site and become a Promise Keeper. To make it easier for you, I've put a widget on my sidebar to direct you to their KickStarter page.

One thing she was NOT particularly pleased with was the noms. When it comes to eating, she's as finicky as I am. She can't complain too much since virtually all the meals were included in the admission price, which was good because the hotel food was pricy even for a New Yorker. $15 for pancakes or A waffle! WTF?  They promised a pizza pawty after the movie and it was hors d'oeuvre pizza that made ghetto pizza (Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Dominos) sound appealing. Sorry, New York pizza has us spoiled.

To assure that I'd let her back into the house, TW went around the last day and lifted a ton of goodies for me. She took anything that wasn't nailed down. Is that a chip off the stunning cat, or what? OK, so she didn't go that far, for those vendors who may be reading this. After all, food has an expiration date. I'm happy to report she's batting .500 thus far. While I dug into the Wellness Complete Health Chicken Recipe, I stuck my nose up at the Crave Holy Cow with beef, cheddar and milk flavors. I liked the Wellness because it had triple cranberry and I'm a big fan of cranberries in kibble—or in general. I have a confession to make—remember, what goes on in this blog, stays in this blog OR ELSE!—I sat in the cranberry sauce the first time the peeps had it after I was secure enough to jump on the table. Just plopped right on down. Really. The peeps thought it was hysterical. The idiots still laugh about it. It was kind of cold and oozy, not to mention sticky, which I found out later.

The good news for my readers is that I have FOUR pouches of Crave Holy Cow to give away! I'm gonna  give it to the 4 funniest comments to this blog—and I get some funny comments, trust me. This giveaway is for cats who's peeps WEREN'T at Blogpaws. Oh yeah, the OTHER catch is that, since it's food, we can't ship it out of the country.

TW had a big surprise for me when she got home. She brought a guest—the legendary George the Duck! He's right here next to me on Pop's bed right now! Seems his Typist had to leave early because of Irene, and left him with TW!  If you're a FB friend of mine, I have a photo album of his adventures in the big city.

Sorry this post is so long, but I wanted to get everything in. We haven't blogged for a while so I felt I owed you a nice long one. Have a good weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do! HAH!

Order in the Court!

All rise as the Honorable Cathy Keisha comes into the courtroom. She will be defending herself in the case of The Woman vs. Cathy Keisha. The defendant—who's NOT guilty, I might add—is being excused of malicious violence against the Plaintiff on the night of August 20, 2011. We now take you inside the courtroom where CK, defending herself, is grilling TW.

CK: What time did you roll into bed the night of August 20?

TW: It was before midnight—between 11:15 and 11:30.

CK: So you don't know for sure? Had you been drinking?

TW: Iced tea and water. You know I hardly ever drink alcohol.

CK: I know nothing of the sort! Uh-huh. If you couldn't remember what time you got into bed, how can we believe you remember what happened after that? … OK, please tell us what, in your opinion, happened after you laid down.

TW: I was adjusting the covers—that I have to use summer and winter to keep a certain cat from …

CK: Objection! Just the facts, ma'am. Continue without the editorializing.

TW: I was pulling the cover up when the Defendant leaped on top of my arm. She grabbed it so hard, I cried out 4 times. I couldn't shake her off.

CK: Were the lights out when you "claim" this attack took place?

TW: Listen, I know who was in bed with me because I don't turn out the lights until you're in bed and have your eyes closed. You, er, the Defendant has a history of this sort of feral behavior.

CK: The court is advised to strike this last sentence out of the records. I'm not being tried for prior incidents, which may or may not have happened. Go on, TW.

CK at the time of the alleged attack. You can see I'm sleeping like an angel.

TW: On this night, you jumped into bed looking for trouble. You usually turn around and lay with your rear end toward me. On this night, you stared me down. I thought I was safe when you put your head down, but you tricked me.

CK: *snickers* Uh huh! Let the court be aware that the Plaintiff has it in for the Defendant. She never liked me and if it wasn't for my Pop, I'd be back in the shelter!

TW: Objection!

CK: What you objecting to, Woman? You have something against the TRUTH? Overruled! Were you aware that a gray tuxedo cat, who has a history of felonies from here to Mexico, named Herñia Hernandez Gutierrez, alias HHGut, was also in the bed?

TW: Herñia was at the foot of the bed. He's a stuffed animal. They don't just get up and jump by themselves and even if he did, he doesn't have teeth.

CK: Keep telling yourself that, Woman, and I'll find you in contempt.

TW: Cathy, I have the bite marks …

CK: SILENCE! I've heard enough out of you! I find the Defendant NOT GUILTY on grounds of her innocence. Case closed! Court adjourned.

So there you have it. I was found NOT GUILTY by a jury of my peers. I hope this is the last time I have to go through such anguish. I'm thinking of counter-suing on the grounds that she slandered me and sullied my good name—not to mention that I was banished from the bed again for 2 whole night!

CK during her wrongful incarceration.

NOTE: TW is abandoning me and going to Blogpaws, sans computer or smart phone, so I regret that we won't be able to visit our friends blogs until Monday.

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

Hi, I'm Keisha and I rule this condo with an Iron Paw. You want a piece of me? Didn't think so. Isabel certainly didn't! For those who haven't heard, I sent Isabel packing by night fall. She's back at her frosted home cos she didn't want to mess with CK.

Notice how muscular I am. My fastball has been clocked at over 100 mph. I've been known to bench press 7 times my weight. That's why I'm the star player on the #NipClub softball team. Pretty good for a girl, wouldn't you say? I'm from the hood so I HAD to learn how to defend myself. But I can be a sweet and gentle girl, if you know how to treat me right. I rule this condo with an Iron Paw so don't try moving in on my territory. Don't get too close to my Pop. Ya heard?

The Diva Throws a Hissy Fit

OK, who the [censored] does Isabel think she is? NO ONE keeps Cathy Keisha waiting 3 days. NO ONE cancels play dates with Cathy Keisha 2 days in a row. I don't care that we had 6 inches of rain today and streets were flooded all over. I don't care that Sunday was the better day for my peeps so they were glad to change dates. I am SOOOOO over her now. I am sooooo over wanting a sisfur. See if I even get up from my cushy bed when she comes in the house! I wouldn't even let her in; but, for some reason, the peeps are still excited to meet her. Humans are simple that way. Once they get excited about something, they stay excited. But not this little kitty cat.  Stunning Keisha is the ONLY diva around her. You hear that, I-Hiss-abel? It's my pawty and I'll hiss if I want to. *Tosses head and walks away in disgust.*

See if I let HER on my cat tree! 

UPDATE: I sent her packing. I was fine all day—even a bit scared. What do you mean scared, woman? I'm keeping it real. Then Pop came home and called her. I went ballistic—hissing, growling and lunging at her. I'm very territorial over my Pop. She went back to her frosted home. I told you, no one crosses Cathy Keisha and lives to tell about it.

Anticipation!

NEWS FLASH: Due to inclement weather, I have to wait until tomorrow, Monday, for my play date. We've gotten over 7 inches of rain today.

☂    ☂    ☂    ☂

Tomorrow is the day when my play date with Isabel Tamika is scheduled. I have so much to do in preparation, like hiding all my toys and food so she can't find them. Linda hasn't confirmed with us yet, so I hope the date is still on. I also hope she's not too sad about leaving her brofur Charley behind. This apartment is way too small to accommodate 3 cats although the peeps assure me that their hearts are big enough for 3 fur babies. Having me as a sisfur/playmate is much better than having a brofur anyway.

I'm giving TW orders that she's NOT to take pictures or video of I-Tam. I can't shorten her name to IT because it would sound very disrespectful so I think I-Tam will do. You'll have to be content with these pictures from Petfinders, from when she was 16 weeks old.

I know I sound like a broken record, but you can welcome I-Tam by donating to her rescue, A Call 4 Paws.

CK GETS THE BLUES

Blind Lemon Keish, little-known
sister of Jake & Elwood Blues.

Well, not literally. Last night was #Nipclub's House of Blues night and I surprised all by my vast knowledge of all things Blues. This little kitteh earned her blues chops from the mean streets of Jersey City. Yes, I come from the Paw—Communipaw Avenue. You can play my set by pressing the "Play" arrow on the widget in the sidebar. I started with the imposters and then moved on to some authentic blues.

I'd like to sing this little blues song about a cat I once knew. Gertrude was the mean Mama calico and she ruled those kittehs with an iron paw. Peeps knew her well. I call this the Mean Mama Calico and Tippiano Blues.

♫ I got a mean Mama calico sitting by
my front door
I got a mean Mama calico sitting by
my front door
She's a mean Mama Calico
Forever more

♫ There's Rusty and Fritzy
Tippiano and little Hope
There's Rusty and Fritzy
Tippiano and little Hope
She's a mean Mama Calico
So many kitttens how does she cope

GUITAR SOLO! ♪♩♩♪

Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all next week and then I'll be at the House of Blues in Hollywood!

Happy World Cat Day

Today is World Cat Day so TW did this special sketch of me laying on Pop's bed. OK, I'll come clean. You're too smart to be fooled by this because by now you all know that TW has NO TALENTS AT ALL. PhotoShop actually made this sketch so TW could salvage yet another soft, out-of-focus picture she'd taken of me. It didn't come too badly. I do look very stunning.

Plus to honor this day, she's been singing—rather badly—this little ditty based on a song from the Stone Age '60s.

Ooo aah, ooo aah, ooo ooo Kitty
tell us about the cat from Jersey City
Ooo aah, ooo aah, ooo ooo Kitty
tell us about the cat from Jersey City
She's a real stunner
She's really fine

And to re-enforce what I said about her having NO TALENT, that's as far as she got. I've heard this over and over again. Ad nauseum.

And now onto a completely different topic. This is two, two, two posts in one!

Stunning Keisha with the loot we donated to A Call 4 Paws.

Every couple of months, TW puts a care package together for our favorite charity, A Call 4 Paws, and our friend Linda comes over to pick it up. Friday evening, Linda came over to get the 5 bags of sheets, cat food that doesn't pass my taste test, old cat dishes, that failed fountain, etc. She told TW I had some Russian Blue in me, which surprised both of us but might explain why my fur tends to look blue in some photos. I thought it was just TW's bad photography skills. HAH! Anyway, I'm not real excited about being a Ruskie, but TW thinks they're da bomb or something. Wonder if this means I'll have to learn to bite in another language ...

Anyway, they were yakking about animals and the next thing I know, TW is axing about getting a sisfur for me. Huh? I'm gonna have a kitten? This is all so sudden. Does Buzz know about this? Should he?

As some of my long-time readers know, I was originally adopted with another cat, but it didn't work out. The other cat hid under the bed for two weeks until we had to return her. She'd come from a hoarding situation and the old lady who had her had gotten out of the hospital and wanted her back so it worked out all around. But that left me an only cat.

Since I'm a triple Alpha cat, Linda thought I'd do well with a younger cat—one that I can boss around and mold into my image. Hmmmm, this could be fun. So it was decided that Linda would bring a cat over this coming Caturday to meet me and see how we got along.

Meet Isabel/Tamika

I'll know a little bit more about her soon. What we do know is that she and her brother, Charley, were rescued from a feral colony when they were about 16 weeks old—she's now 5 1/2 months old. Linda brought them to the A Call 4 Paws Sanctuary to be whipped into shape, er, socialized. Two weeks later, they came home sweet and lovable. They work miracles at the sanctuary, which is why I'm axing you to contribute to their widget in the sidebar.

This little ghetto cat would like to change Isabel's name to something like Tamika, so she can keep it real also, but, alas, the peeps aren't buying. They say if she's responding to Isabel, we should leave it alone. Even more troubling, they say Jersey City is a big city with lots of ethnicities and diversity and maybe she wasn't found in da hood but in the Heights. GASP! She may be from an Indian, Pakistani, Russian or Latino neighborhood; or, even worse, a yuppie one. I still say she looks like a Tamika.  Tamika Torte. What do my readers think?

I axed my peeps, since Isabel/Tamika is already living with Linda, wouldn't it be better to get a kitteh out of a shelter. They told me that once Isabel gets adopted, then Linda can bring another cat from the Sanctuary to live with her and keep the line moving; so, in fact, we're bettering 2 cats existence. Isn't that exciting?

Linda and A Call 4 Paws are also going to trap the ferals that have called our condo's garage their home and have them spayed. TW says they're friendly for strays. One actually LOOKS like a real Russian Blue and that little girl may already have a home waiting for her once she's de-flea-ed and spayed. Apparently, someone in our complex has been trying to catch her without success. She did come right over to TW and Linda and ax to be petted. Linda's plan is to bring the others back because she says if she took them, another colony—maybe a bigger colony—would move right in.

As you can imagine, all this spaying is going to cost mucho dinero, so please add a few bucks to the ChipIn on my sidebar. Muchas gracias and HAPPY WORLD CAT DAY!

Move over JLo and tell Gaga the News

There's a new video star on the block and her name is Keisha aka Stunning Keisha aka Cathy Keisha. I've got the looks; I've got the moves. I've got STAR written all over me. I'm about to unveil my latest video. Don't hate me for it. The Woman is just learning how to use the camera and the software. We didn't want anyone to have to put up with 34 seconds of Michael Kay's fat-headed, loud-mouth drivel so TW plugged in some song by the Buck Pets. That was her first mistake. Can you believe 12,000 songs on our i-Tunes and NOT A ONE by Beyonce?? I'm in shock. Anyway, I hope TW gets better at putting captions in there cos I certainly have enough to say.

What you are about the witness is CK playing with a peacock feather. You can purchase these feathers at NipandBones and find out just how much fun I'm having. NipandBones DID NOT pay me to write this blog.

Now pretend you're at a big premiere pawty. You've just walked down the Red Carpet and been interviewed by Joan Rivers. Now you're settled into your seat.

Lights! Camera! Action!

Mewsday Tuesday

BREAKING NEWS: Let's start with some breaking news. We go live to Pop's sink where Cathy Keisha has just taken her first drink of water in almost a year. Is it coincidence that I stopped drinking H2O right after the peeps broke my favorite water dish? I also ate very well today.

Speaking of water, look what the Poland Springs' man brought! Nope, don't
touch a drop of the stuff

You may have noticed the ChipIn on the right. My charity, A Call 4 Paws, came in 3rd on Sparkle's blog so she set this up. Feel feel to take your human's coffee or doughnut money and give it to this worthy cause. As the old song goes, Give A Little Bit, or as I like to say Give Till It Hurts. *Sharpens teeth* Contrary to popular belief, that isn't the rescue that I came from. That was Companion Animal Placement. They—how could I delicately put this—disowned me or something. Yes, they stopped taking my phone calls and answering my e-mail. I can hear a chorus of cat voices and they're saying, "How can anyone disown a wonderful cat like CK?" Pffffttttttt to them. Let them do their own ChipIn and publicity.

You may have also noticed that I've put a widget for my Wisconsin #Nipclub set on the sidebar. Most of these bands hail from the cheesehead state or were produced by Wisconsin native Butch Vig. R.E.M.'s first tour led them to Merlyns, in Madison, WI. There's some good music in that set, so enjoy. Thursday's theme is Canada so don't expect too much. I can already tell that its shaping up as Neil Young and a bunch of over the hill folkies. Hmmm, just like my peeps—over the hill folks. HAH!

I'm going to have Pop draw the winner of the rocket toy out of my Yankee hat later tonight and will announce who the lucky cat is by tomorrow. TW already bought a mailer so it shouldn't take more than a month to get it in the mail.

A week later and I'm still enjoying my Neko Fly toy, as well as my foam rubber rockets. TW pulled this still out of a failed video she tried to take. I'll be playing like crazy but as soon as she takes the camera out, I stand there, defiantly and stare at her until the memory card gets full. This was the final frame so I've started playing again. Notice the sheer joy on my face as I try to attack that Kragonfly. I've been known to have the same look on my face when I lunge at TW in bed; although I admit I haven't done that in a while. BTW, that box and bag in the photo are donations we have ready to give to A Call 4 Paws.

TW has decided that she's going to Blogspaw. She doesn't have money to get her hair cut but she's going to Blogspaw. She's got a ride and a roommate. I hope her ride is going to drop her off at the Poor House on the way home.

This really affects this cat because TW has never been away overnight before—at least since I've been here. Hell, I don't remember when she used to go to work; I only know that she leaves the house for an hour or so every day. For Cod's sake, I sit at the door and cry when she goes down to the mailboxes! She's worried how I'm going to react since I have separation anxiety. I may not eat the four days she'll be away. How do you guys deal with it when your peeps go away without you? What really sticks in my craw is that she's going to bring HHGutt as my representative! GASP! I'm going to start a petition stating that if he goes with her, that is a declaration of WAR with this stunning ghetto kitteh. I'm sure the WLF and Pink Angels will back me on this.

Well, that's all my news for today. Sit back and enjoy the music!

WE HAVE WINNERS. Yes, winners. Since we have extra toys, Pop picked two winners. The first is Bad Andy, of Bad Andy's Other Stuff, who wins the foam rubber rocket. I'm really glad he won because he just lost his brother, Jim, and misses him a lot. The other winner is Spitty-the-Kitty from Spitty Speaks, who has his choice of the other 2 disc throwing toys.