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Don't Mess With Your Kitty

You're prolly axing yourself what took CK this long to write a post using Mr. Puddy's Meme. After all, you know my mottos are "Don't get mad; get even" and "Revenge is a dish best served over and over." There is so many stories to tell but I wanted to wait until I had some new goodie.

Over the years, I've bitten many a leg that earlier in the day was used to trip over me or kick me—unintentional, the peeps claim. Well, guess what, my revenge IS intentional. If you don't like it, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!! You know you have a cat; you've had me 5 1/2 years now. Hello, Woman, this stunning grey and white furry cat is alive! I feel pain just like you just felt! Sometimes I even bleed and my blood is red just like that stuff dripping out of your ankle and shin right now. And many an arm has been maimed and bloodied because one of my toys was stepped on and destroyed or—worse still—discarded. They never throw out their own mess; only kitteh toys are fair game to them. But I get even.

That brings me to the latest episode of Don't Mess with Your Kitty. This summer, the peeps have been buying a lot of fruit and they've decided that keeping it on the windowsill is the best way to ripen it. Yes, that would be MY windowsill. It's bad enough that it's already crapped up with plants but now I lose even more space to peaches and plums? Uh-uh. This won't do.

My revenge: TW has been noticing little bitty holes, about the size of, say, a kitteh claw, have mysteriously been pock-marking her fruit. Hmmm, I wonder who could be doing that. The best part is, if she doesn't gobble that fruit up right away, the fruit starts to rot around those teeny holes. Either way, I get my windowsill back and CK is happy again. (Sorry there are no photos to document this. I'd rather not wait until NEXT July to get this blog published.)
My beach pawty avatar.
For your listening pleasure, I've put a widget on the sidebar, with the songs I played at last Caturday's Swingin' 60's Malibu Beach #PawPawty. There are actually a few extra songs on there that I didn't have time for in my hour. Hit the PLAY button in the middle and feel like you're hanging ten. If you couldn't make the pawty and would like to donate to Mental Detection Dogs, you can do it HERE and see all the delish food that was served.
Very soon, I'll be picking the winner of the toy contest. If you haven't entered, you still have a few days. Today is the last day to go to Sparkle Cat's blog and vote for A Call 4 Paws—my charity—halfway down the right-hand sidebar and then to vote for Sparkle's excellent blog, which is nominated for a Pettie Award.

Easy Like Sunday or a Blog About a Blog

Some of my readers have been wondering why I only blog once a week. My typist, also known as The Woman (TW), is supposed to be spending much of the week sending resumes and writing cover letters so even though I'd like to, I can't monopolize ALL her time. I'm also a world-renowned Twitter DJ, who spends vast amounts of time shopping for outfits and preparing theme set lists for our weekly #Nipclub events and monthly #Pawpawties, that have raised over $50,000 for animal charities worldwide. (BTW, anyone have any suggestions what to play to honor Wisconsin?) Anyway, if TW doesn't haul her booty back to work soon, we are heading toward the Poor House at an alarming clip. This is fact! This little kitteh may be out on the mean streets again, peddling contraband nip and swinging her tail looking for action. A lot of thought—as well as a lot of words and my entire heart and gall bladder—goes into each blog to try to make it as entertaining and satisfying as I can, like a fine wine or home-style cooking that sticks to your ribs. I've known people who actually smoke cigarettes after reading some of my better blogs, if you get what I'm driving at here. MOL! Fact is, I think my readers have come to expect a level of excellence—as I myself do—and, frankly, if I'm not satisfied with a blog post, it doesn't go to press. I'm about quality over quantity. I don't mean to lecture because I truly LOVE everyone who reads this little blog—and most of you do post a quality blog daily, but CK feels she's stretching herself too thin these days. I also, as you may have noticed, can't be brief if I tried and all this thinking takes a lot out of me. With that thought, I'll rest cos I'm easy like Sunday.

I'm not gonna mention that nothing exciting goes on around here,
plus I'm a wordy sort of cat who couldn't be brief if I tried.

Can I Be Losing My Edge?

It's true! This little ghetto cat may be losing her edge! Or maybe TW and I have finally reached a truce. That must be it. I haven't bitten or scratched her badly since her birthday and that was a long time ago. It all started when TW bought home a toy from Walgreens the day before her birthday. This toy was like no other and totally interactive. In fact, it was a human toy but just MADE to energize a cat like myself. This toy has helped us bond, na mean?

The story begins a long time ago. Pop said he'd love to buy one of those planes that fly around and you control them with a radio control or something. He wondered if I'd like to chase it. While shopping at Walgreens, TW saw this Cyber Shot Sky Prop, which is a plastic gun that shoots round discs through the air. Since it was on sale for only $1.49, she bought one just to see what I thought of it. We both know that dogs and cats shouldn't play with human toys because animal-specific toys are made with special dyes and stuff that are safe for us and human toys aren't. Since I don't nom on the discs, TW isn't worried.

Those discs shoot from one end of the apartment to the other and almost touch the ceiling, which is about 16 feet high. First time she tried it, I was after it like a shot! I then started crying for her to do it again and again, all the time running after those discs. I've never played so actively with any cat toy, except maybe my tunnel. I use my tunnel in this game to because I run through it to get from one end of the living room to the other. It's great exercise so you won't have to go on one of those kitteh diets that I keep reading about.

Look at this LOOT! My new toys are SOOOOO much fun!
Gotta admire that cheap toy. It lasted 3 days of heavy use. Then TW started buying toys that resembled it and—you guessed it—the price of that toy has shot way up if you add together all the knockoffs she's bought.

The latest knockoff is a Foam Force Rocket Ship. This is the best one yet! Sorry you can't see it in the photos. She only bought one and it's currently in use. HAH! Since the rockets are foam rubber, they're soft and they BOUNCE when they land, which gives me a perfect opportunity to pounce on them and smother them like I've just recovered a fumble in football. Your peeps should have no problem getting these toys in the air for you. If TW can do it; anyone can.

Come on over and play with me! Click on the picture to biggify it.
Today, I got a package from Nip & Bones that contained a toy that is almost as enjoyable as those Sky Props. It's a Neko fly wand and Cragonfly. That is a ton of fun too. I can practice my jumping skills for the next Olympics. Of course, I don't try to nom the fly, I go for the string. I'll review that one another time.

Being the good furrend that I am, I'm gonna give YOU a chance to win one of these super-duper toys, that are fun for both you and your human. Just comment and let me know which one you want: the Sky Prop, the Space Shoot or the Foam Force Rocket Ship. Since these toys travel great distances, they're not recommended if your peeps keep lots of breakable stuff lying around the house. At the end of the month, I will pick a name out of my Yankee hat to win. For extra credit and a better chance, please go to Sparkle Cat's blog and vote for A Call 4 Paws—my charity—halfway down the right-hand sidebar. Make sure you let me know that you did. Believe me, I can check to weed out impostors. Don't forget to vote for Sparkle's excellent blog, which is nominated for a Pettie Award. Please also vote for my furrend Mr. Puddy, who's up for funniest blog. Last, but not least, unfortunately, I can only send these toys within the continental USA because of the high postal rates. Good luck!

You can win one of these toys for yourself because I'm so generous!
Is this post done yet, Woman! I want to play with the foam rockets or Neko fly.

Blog the Change: New York State Bills to Benefit Animals

I warned TW a month ago, we had to prepare for our Blog the Change post but did she do anything? No! Once again, she waited until the day before to throw something together. Oh, I'm sorry—she cut some articles from the newspaper to use as ideas. She must've been something back in her school days. I hope this post doesn't LOOK like she waited until the last minute.

Meet Verrazano.
This month, I'm not going to write about some stupid human tricks like setting fire to a live kitty or throwing a kitten out the window of a car on the Verrazano Bridge although I could. Fortunately the latter had a happy ending as an Animal Control officer was in a car right behind the nut who hurled the kitty and stopped traffic and rescued it. Star of The View, Whoopi Goldberg, is one of many lined up to adopt "Verrazano," a five-week-old Russian Blue kitten. They're still looking for the nut who threw the cat.

This is going to be a happy post because NY State does have a Bill pending that will make it easier for rescues to get into shelters to save animals scheduled for euthanasia. I'll tell you about that later. Our hero now is Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer who has come to the defense of animal rescuers in their legal battle with the city over its treatment of homeless dogs and cats.

Stringer's office has axed the NY State Court of Appeals to determine whether the city is breaking its own law by neglecting to provide animal shelters in all five boroughs. The Bronx and Queens only have part-time pet receiving centers. As a result, stray animals are often euthanized because there is no place to hold them.

He says there are too few animal care facilities and the ones that exist have too many substandard conditions. "This disregard for animal welfare and safety is unconscionable."

Stray From the Heart, a rescue group sued the city in 2009 for ignoring a law that requires full service shelters in all five boroughs. A Superior Court judge ruled in its favor. Earlier this year, an appeals court decided the group didn't have standing to challenge the City and the Health Department on the law. They claimed the 2000 Animal Shelters and Sterilization Act, as interpreted, was related solely to public health issues and did not address animal welfare, thereby preventing organizations such as Stray From the Heart from enforcing the animal shelter law. Over the past two years, the Health Department has slashed more than $1.5 million from its contract with the nonprofit NYC Animal Care and Control.

With the support of Mr. Stringer, Stray from the Heart is seeking leave to appeal the 2011 decision to the New York Court of Appeals on the grounds that they have standing to sue to compel the City to enforce an Act that is fundamentally related to animal welfare in additon to public health.

In addition, Borough President Stringer emphasizes that if an organization such as Stray From the Heart, whose mission is to promote rescue and shelter dogs, has no standing to enforce a law that requires the same service, then no organization can have standing to ensure the City complies with its legal obligation to comply with the Act.

Let's hear it for Borough President Scott Stringer. Send him a thank you message by either calling his office at 212-669-8300 or an email at

Now on to Bill No. A04480, which requires the release of a shelter animal to a rescue group upon request of the rescue group prior to euthanasia of the animal. With the reintroduction of this bill, shelters once again are arguing that they want to hold onto the right to approve or disapprove whether a rescue group can take the "death row" pets. They claim their opposition is to keep "hoarders" and unqualified rescue groups from taking the animals.

Oreo after being thrown from a Brooklyn roof
The bill, also known as Oreo's Law, would save dogs, cats, puppies, kittens, rabbits, guinea pigs and other animals currently being killed in NYS shelters. This law got it's name from Oreo, a one-year-old Pit Bull mix, who was thrown off a 6th floor Brooklyn roof top by her owner. The ASPCA "rescued" her, took time and expenses to fully mend 2 broken legs, broken ribs and various other injuries. Only a few months later, the ASPCA decided to kill Oreo themselves. Despite Pets Alive, a no-kill shelter located in the foothills of the Catskill Mountains, begging the ASPCA repeatedly to surrender Oreo to them, the ASPCA killed Oreo on 11/13/09.

Oreo, all healed up and ready to be euthanized.
A statewide survey of NYS rescue groups found that over 70% were being turned away because the shelters were hostile to them and then those shelters turned around and killed the animals the rescuers were willing to save.

This bill would:

  • End "convenience" killing when there are empty cages and when animals can share kennels or be sent to foster care
  • Require pounds to post strays, including photographs and descriptions, on the Internet so their families can search for them online
  • Require transparency in operations by requiring shelters to make their statistics public
  • Require pounds to scan for microchips, maintain lost-found lists, and match lost with found animals in the shelter
  • Require fresh food and water, environmental enrichment, clean living environments, as well as prompt and necessary veterinary care
From my research, A04480, which was supposed to be voted on in June, never came to a vote. Please click on the sidebar widget to find ways to help get this important Bill passed.

July 13th—A National Holiday?

It is in my house and it may be nation-wide. MLB has chosen not to play baseball games on this day. TW doesn't even go to work today! Oh yeah, the slacker hasn't done that in years. On this day over 5 centuries ago, Gramma gave birth to TW. What's that? Speak up Woman, I'm busy here. Oops, I'm being told that the blessed event took place over 5 DECADES ago. As if! I still think it's CENTURIES.

Touching moment w/ TW
Much as I'd like to, I'm not here to bury The Woman, I'm here to *cough cough yack yack* pra —um, I can do this—praaaais—No. ha ha. I can do this *wipes tears of laughter from face*—praise TW.—There I said it! Aha ha ha! No, I really mean it. heh heh OMC! Let me catch my breath after that. Whew!

Working my teeth on TW.
LOVE that finger food.
I bite her; I scratch her; I bite her again; but at the end of the day, she still stocks my food cabinet and feeds me 3 meals a day, cleans my litter box, and provides my exercise. Lucky for me, she does the food thing a lot better than the other two. Sometimes she even gives me the food I like. She cleans the bed linens I've grown accustomed to sleeping on and washes the Wedgwood dishes I demand my meals be served in. She doesn't try to dress me in stupid clothes or put collar things around my neck—although it would make my day if she tried. *sharpens claws and licks lips*

She wouldn't give me up, even though she's highly allergic and claims I make her asthma worse. Of course, she knows that if Pop had to choose, he'd choose me over her because I don't waste his hard-earned money by leaving lights on in rooms I left hours ago and opening the window even though the a/c is running full-blast and I'm not always crying that I have a migraine. Hold on, TW is complaining againWhat do you mean, Woman? Of course this IS praise! I wield a lot of power around here. I can get her thrown out just by snapping my paws because I have Pop all wrapped around them.

My #Nipclub pirate costume
Of course, then I couldn't take advantage of all the time she has on her hands to devote to my social media needs. She doesn't have a Twitter account or blog so I can have them and spends more time assisting with my Facebook page then she spends on her own. Of course, I do have five times as many furrends as she does so that's only proper. I'm not allowed to visit ALL my furrend's blogs every day, but she lets me visit quite a few and say hello. She also pimps my pictures so I look good for most pawties and Nipclub events and devotes time to assisting with my DJ shifts and setlists. She says she's given up a lot for me and I say she hasn't given up enough. Suck it up, Woman. I'm the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it. Without me, you'd REALLY have no life.

Yes, TW does a lot for this stunning cat and I do more than I should in return. I don't scratch up the furniture and rugs and I permit her to sleep with me. My teeth wouldn't be half as sharp if I didn't have her to exercise them on. So it's with these sentiments, I say

Hmmmm, now I don't have to get her a real gift, do I?

Meow Meow Meme

I was tagged just as TW was getting sick by the sexiest cat alive George (swoon) Clooney over on his blog Clooney's Num-Num Fund. Hey, if you had a num-num fund, you might be sexy too. MOL. Seems I need to answer some questions about myself, which happens to be my favorite topic and why not? I AM the World's Most Stunning Cat.

Chillin wif some good nip.
1) Where do you like to hang out?

That would be the #NipClub. When I'm not spinning tunes, I can be found cozying up to Mariodacat when he's barktending or pole-dancing with Duchess Crabtree. When at home, I like my Pop's bed during the day and TW's bed at night. I can also be found on one of the kitchen chairs, when I don't want to be found.

2) Who is your favorite kitty crush?

Too numerous to name! HAH! I like to play the field. My main squeeze, BuzzLucas, and I have an open relationship, although I tend to be the jealous kind and sometimes get huffy when he gets too friendly with some female feline.

3) What is your favorite scent?

Getting comfy on one of Pop's fave shirts.
This is gonna seem strange but it's my Pop. I adore Pop and LOVE rolling on his shirts after he takes them off cos they smell just like him. Second to Pop, would be that whole rotisserie chicken TW buys every week. It's so juicy and nommie. *Drool* Clean that mess off the keyboard, Woman! Sorry, I have to keep after her if I want anything done.

How am I doing, Cloon? Your answers were so good that you set the bar pretty high. This is my first in-depth interview, you know, or maybe I shouldn't admit that.

Come a little closer, my pretty!
4) What is your favorite TV show?

I love watching Bird-tv, although we may not have that channel in the coming years, if the zoning board approves the sale and extensive renovations to the place next door. Nothing like getting up at 4 a.m. to watch my fave show, "The Early Bird Gets the Worm." I also like to watch the Microwave channel, especially when it's cooking something I like to eat.

5) What is your favorite movie?

Well it would've been Ratatouille, which I begged my peeps to buy for me; but could they do this little ghetto cat one little favor? NOOOOOOOO! They haven't even let me see it on TV. So, the answer, sadly, is I don't have a favorite movie. Pop watches a lot of scary crappola and TW only watches ballgames.

6) What is the best piece of feline wisdom?

Well, anything that comes out of my mouth is a rare bit of wisdom, even if nobody realizes it at the time. But if I may quote a song I wrote "When I was just a little kit, my Poppa said to me, 'if you bite your Momma now, you can bite her once for free. Don't bite her on the leg,' he said. 'Bite her on the arm. If you bite her on the wrist, you can do a lot of harm'." BTW, it's sung to the tune of "Lemon Tree."

I also like "Get the nommies up front." If you don't, you'll be sorry.

I have to tag three other bloggers and they are:
Crazy Fusa so this will give him an excuse to blog
Herbie Cat ditto
Sebastian the Sensitive Soul

Whoa! only 6? I was just getting on a roll. Yeah, Pop, I know. You wanted me on a bagel. I'll leave you with that inside joke.

Until, I can get The Woman to indulge me again, may all your nommies be tuna!

Easy Like Sunday

What could be better than to be in my "mauve thing" on Pop's bed?
Sorry I haven't been around much lately to comment on blogs and even update this blog. TW has been under the weather with bad bronchitis that won't go away. As you can see, we're just chillin' today. Have safe 4th of July!