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Wednesday Words of Wisdom: My Christmas Card 2010


Christmas shopping

The peeps left me alone again yesterday to do their "Christmas shopping." I put that in quotes since they've done all their shopping for me online so what else do they need to buy? The peeps went to the local shopping plaza. It's not really a mall because it's outdoors and there aren't that many stores.  Once they walked the mile and a half there, crossing the dangerous highway, they decided to split up and meet 45 minutes later—I told you there weren't many stores—in front of 6th Avenue Electronics. Pop went in to "case" the Shop Rite, since there are rumors that Pathmark is going out of business and shuttering all their stores. TW went into Old Navy to shop for Pop. Who do you think finished first? If you guessed Pop, you'd be wrong.

Pop, no doubt thinking there was no way TW would shop that fast, took his time, checking out how big the store was and if they had 2-lb brownies. He took note of every flavor ice cream they had. TW knew how dangerous it would be to leave Pop alone in front of the electronics' store, so she shopped like she was on one of the those game shows, where you get to keep everything you could pick up in 15 minutes for free. It took her less than a half hour to fill 2 large shopping bags—and she didn't even look in ladies clearance.

I must tell you this about the peeps. Pop's wallet is so tight that George Washington cries if he has to leave his friends. He clings to the sides of the wallet for dear life. TW, on the other hand, slides that credit card so fast, sparks fly out of it. However, Pop wants one of those cool flat TVs so bad that TW knew she must stop him before he went crazy and spent the Christmas money. She HAD to beat him to 6th Avenue Electronics. She got to their meeting stop a full 10 minutes early and even had time to waddle into that Petland that moved in where Petco used to be. Wait a second, the peeps didn't tell me there was a store where they could shop for me in that plaza. Of course, she didn't buy me anything cos she had to hurry back to their meeting place before Pop did anything foolish.

Finally, to add insult to injury, they went out of lunch, leaving the cat alone even longer. Would it have hurt them to bring something home and share it with the cat? I think not.

Looking lonely and abused, I wonder when the peeps will be home and if they bought me anything.
Lastly, I'd like to thank my BuzzLucas for the wonderful Christmas present and noms he sent me. He is just so thoughtful and kind. I'm so lucky he's my main squeeze. I would also like to send thanks to my good furrend Fusa for the treats he sent me and the gift his Mom sent TW. A cat can't have too many treats. I'm thankful for the caring furrends I've made this past year and those who have sent me cards: @CrazyFusa, Jeego (@SeattleP) and @Herbie_cat. Merry Christmas and to all, and to all a good night.

My busy day

Getting to know each other
Caturday, a new friend moved into our house. His name is Fraser. He's a bit eccentric—I guess all trees are. He doesn't say much and he drinks a LOT of water. He doesn't have a mouth so he just laps it up through his ass. Wait, the peep is trying to tell me something. I'm sorry, he laps it up through his TRUNK. Whatever. Uncle Vinny and Aunt Marta helped pick him out and drive him home. They're good people. Anyway, Fraser is 9 feet tall. Look at how small I look next to him! He's also very very skinny. Peeps said they needed a skinny tree so my cat tree would still fit in front of the window. Can you believe they actually—gasp—moved my cat tree from it's primo location.
My eyes can melt you!

Can you believe I was on tv? Pictures don't lie. You can see I am, indeed ON tv. Notice the old-fashioned tv the peeps have. Please do not judge me by it.

Anything breakable up here
Next, I had to inspect the decorations. Hmmm, looks like a new nutcracker thing. I say give the nuts all the crack they want.

Here's a bare spot!
Sunday was the main attraction: the decorating of the tree. It actually went very smoothly. No cursing or swearing. Of course, I helped. I did all the heavy lifting, so to speak and they did the easy stuff. On the picture on the right, you can see me helping Pop with the lights. I learned that all the lights on our tree are LED, including the star atop. Let's hear it for the peeps.

And, finally, here's the finished product. I can't show you the entire tree in one picture, because our room is too small to get back far enough so the star is cut off.
Ta-daaaa! And I helped.

Small World Order

As you all know—now that MaggieTKat has immortalized her in The Anipal Times—TW helps type my tweets, blog and FB messages. My Pop stays in the background and earns the money to buy my noms and toys.

CK comtemplates life w/o food
Last week was Pay It Forward Day and TW just happened to be out buying my cat food. I know what you're thinking—it's about time she was doing something for The Cat. There was a good sale on the food I'm currently enamored with so she was shopping at a chain that she usually doesn't step foot into. After she loaded her basket with my food, she decided to stop and see if she could find a certain food for one of my Twitter furrends, who shall be remain nameless to protect his privacy. You may think you know who he is. You may be right. You may be wrong. His human is having trouble locating this specific type of noms. TW was surprised to find Pastures of Plenty. She did what any good person would do and bought every pouch they had. May I interject here that my furrend has Excellent culinary taste.

We arranged to have his human come to our place to exchange the contraband, er, noms, since he lives relatively close to us. Little did we know, we were in for quite a surprise—and so was his human.

The food I USED to eat.
They began with a lot of talk about the "kids," with the furrend's human, of course, noting how stunning I was. Then Pop mentioned something about being off from work that day. Furrend's human then asked what Pop did. Pop began to regurgitate in the most technical terms he could what he did. It sounded something like this. "blah-de-blah blah-de-blah boring-blahrity-blah zzzz" Oh sorry, those were my zzzz's. I had no idea what he was talking about; TW had no idea what he was talking about. Furrend's human said "Do you work at XYZ Company? I thought I recognized you! I see you on the elevator all the time. I work for XYZ Company too." A light went on in Pop's head: "You work on the ____ floor near Joe Blow." What the heck is the chance of Pop working with one of my furrend's humans? All I can say is, XYZ Company better stay in business for another 20 years, at least; or I won't be the only cat back out on the mean streets, panhandling.