Monday, October 24, 2011

More Stupid Human Tricks

The first Stupid Human Trick took place almost a month ago but we had so many other things to blog about that we never go to it. The second just happened this past weekend. Finally!

Score! TW finally did something blog-worthy! She spilled an entire glass of V8 Splash on the table. Well, not just on the table because that juice went all over, including the hardwood floor. Of course, the V8 is highly sugared, therefore, highly sticky. Don't tell TW it's highly sugared since she thinks she's drinking something healthy. First, she tried to clean the floor with a rag full of Murphy's oil soap (as if!), but the floor was still sticky so she had to resort to the Bissell steam mop, which replaced the Shark, that broke from neglect. A month later, the floor still feels sticky, so another cleaning was in order.

✌  ✌  ✌  ✌

Tonight, a blog fell right into my hands and I said "thank you Lord."

What is the crazy lady doing?
I was minding my own business waiting for someone to play with me about 11:30 pm, when I heard TW shout "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I came running to investigate and sat down in the middle of millions of small, round white things that were all over the rug and floor. TW was on all fours, frantically trying to corral whatever they were. I learned later that she'd dropped about a hunnert and eighty pills—a three-month supply. She was frantically trying to get them all up while mumbling something about how she couldn't believe what she'd done. She couldn't believe it? I couldn't believe my good fortune. I thrust my paw in the air in glee. Another Stupid Human Trick to blog about! This wasn't quite on par with the Great Birch Beer Caper simply because TW never lost it the way she did when that happened.

The Woman then did something unspeakable: She called in the Marines in the form of my Pop. Yes, she woke my poor, sick, one-armed Pop out of a deep, drugged sleep. He hasn't slept in nights because when you're in a soft cast and sling, there IS no comfortable position. [Ed note: he was awake and he hadn't taken any medications.] Shut up Woman. I'm telling this story and I tell it as I see it!

Pop came out and discovered his little angel—me—was sitting in the midst of a bunch of pills. As he put his hand down to shoo me away, I bit him and he yelped in pain. My job was complete but the peeps were finding those little round things everywhere. They were in TW's room, the bathroom, the hall and there was even one in Pop's room. No place was safe as Pop found one near my litter box, about a half a mile away. TW even picked some up with the vacuum cleaner the following day. You read right—TW was actually vacuuming. Miracles do happen!

I axed TW how this could have happened. She said the bottle just jumped out of her hand while she was opening it but she couldn't believe how far they scattered. I continued to grill her like a seasoned DA. You hit the vial with your hand, didn't you? She claimed she didn't even remember something that just happened. I was speechless. Are these pills poisonous to a cat? WOULD THESE PILLS KILL A CAT IF INGESTED?? I then interrupted myself to tell Pop to get over it when he kept mentioning that I had bit him. Fortunately, I didn't eat any of them. Pop's hand was a tastier treat.

The lousy drugstore refused to renew those pills without getting a new prescription from the doctor even though she had a prescription for them the first time. My head started spinning when I heard that. She read them the riot act but they wouldn't budge. They were as stubborn as a cat.

I should start a Blog Hop so you can tell me about the Stupid Human Tricks your humans do.

NEWS FLASH!
CK casting a vote for Anipal Awards
Only 4 more days to cast your vote for Cathy Keisha in the Best Blog and Sensational Cat categories of the Anipal Acatemy Awards. Click where is says vote in the general categories and please help yourself to some of my premium organic nip and noms on the way out. Last day to vote is the 28th.

13 comments:

Abigail, Madison, and Lisa said...

OMC I love your idea to do a Stooopidddd HOOMAN Blog Hop! I did just go vote fur you too!
xoxox
good luck
MEOW
see you on Twitter

Admiral Hestorb said...

You got it CK girl and my mom has gone berserk too trying to get pills up when she did HER stupid human trick, they are so fun to watch. (no bitey your mom and pop though..not nice).

xoxoxox

Brian said...

Oh my goodness, I can just see you sitting there too. But hopefully they found all of those things!

Sparkle said...

Sheesh, CK, if we started blogging about stupid human tricks, I don't know if we'd ever have time to talk about the important stuff, i.e., Smart Cat Tricks!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Ha ha ha! What a wonderful, wonderful story about the pills! My Human dropped a pill this weekend--just one--and she went INSANE trying to find it: she was down on the floor, crawling, peering under the bed, moving furniture, etc. etc. You know what? She never found it! Ha ha ha! She probably didn't even really drop it! But she'll worry about it for MONTHS. You know, it just doesn't get any better than this!

Prancer Pie said...

I've nefur seen my Mom move as fast as she does when she drops a pill! It's hilarious! Good to hear there are other Moms out there like mine. xoxo

Glogirly and Katie said...

How DO you put up with all that nonsense, CK? You are a stronger cat than I. Keep the faith.
xo Katie

(love the stupid human idea...very apropos since most of us have at least two of them in the house.)

PS - the story IS NOT DONE! I'm cracking the whip at Glogirly every day and every night. This thing truly IS unfolding.

Mariodacat said...

We're laughing our fool heads off over here. M has also done dat stupid ooman trick, but NEVER a whole bottle of dem. ha ha - our oomans look so stupid crawling around on the floor like a cat looking for pills. Talk about a mental picture!!! They are all alike!

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

OMC you had me laughing!!!! TW reminds me of my Mom!!!

She would do the SAME thing!

Mr Puddy said...

Ha..Ha..Ha...This is so funny CK !
I love this bit " Shut up Woman. I'm telling this story and I tell it as I see it! " Human got no chance at all, Have to keep her head down...Ha..Ha..Ha
xoxo

Fusa said...

I voted for you CK. Hope you win!. And please stop the biteys. They may start withholding FOOD! MOL!

Whisppy said...

MOL!! Mommy still can't stop laughing!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Hiya, Yes, you're right. I should just get used to the tabloid criticism, ha ha ha! AND the Human with the flashy box. Geez, though--do you think now she'll leave my nether regions alone???