Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Who's Not A What?

Hola kitties! I  found this draft from 2013 that never ran. I put some bells and whistles on it and here it is. It's not filler.

TW says that although I look like a cat, she can prove I'm not a cat. She claims I don't ACT like a cat. Say what? What kind of double talk is that. I'm gonna let her cite 5 reasons she thinks that and my rebuttals. OK, TW, how IS a cat supposed to act?

Who's Not A What?

TW says in her "defense":
  1. I don't like prawns or bacon.
  2. I'm not independent. I won't play alone and tag along behind her all day like a—gasp—puppy dog.
  3. I don't like catnip.
  4. I like people toys better than cat toys. I'd rather chase after a foam rocket or paper airplane than a smousy toy.
  5. I don't sleep at all during the daytime. She says cats are supposed to sleep 18 hours a day and I don't log nearly that much sleep time.
Who's Not A What?

I counter the nonsense she espoused:
  1. I'm a fishatarian but that doesn't include shellfish. Prawns are insects but they're not as nommy as, say, spiders or house flies. Besides, we couldn't afford prawns or bacon in the ghetto where I grew up. Oh yeah, she don't eat them neither!
  2. I have separation issues and so does she. Whenever she doesn't see me for a few minutes, she runs around the house looking for me. She should be happy I make it easy for her.
  3. I don't go crazy over the nip but I love Silvervine. If given fresh nip, I'll gladly eat it but it's true I don't go wild for nip toys.
  4. Any toy I play with becomes a cat toy.
  5. Yeah, guilty as charged but that doesn't prove anything. I sleep right through the night while she's sleeping. Maybe she sleeps too much. Most humans would give their eye teeth to have a cat like me who let's them sleep nights.
Who's Not A What?

Humans are never satisfied, are they? One look at these fotos should prove I act like a cat. When she feels my teeth or my claws, she should certainly know I'm all cat. It's not like I can go outside and catch prey or anything. I'm proud to be a cat in good standing.


Summer at said...

I sleep through the night too... but then, I also sleep part of the day.

edie said...

Everyone knows that you need to follow your human. Who knows what kind of trouble they would get into if you're not supurrvising them.

Eastside Cats said...

CK, methinks TW needs to spend some time at a cat rescue or cat cafe, so she can remember just how frikkin' lucky she is to have YOU! You are beyond compare, to other cats or *gasp* dogs. What is she thinking, CK?!?

Purrjamm said...

A bunch of us sleep through the night here too. And we only like freshly caught or freeze dried salmon. No can salmon for us! Ugh. And we agree, you are very "cat" like. You definitely look like one, MOL. Purrs

Sandee said...

I had a kitty like you long ago. When I went to bed she did and when I got up she did too. Slept with me all night and never woke me up. You're a good kitty.

Have a purrfect day. My best to your mom. ♥

Brian said...

You just don't like to be stereotyped CK, but I do know you like spinning the tunes on the stereo!


I'm loving your post.
Now onto why I'm really here. Not get your posts via email. Why? This seems to happen often with blogger posts.

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

TW doesn't know how lucky she is that you sleep through the night. Eric Would come back from eating or using the litter box, scrabble up the side of the bed where my head was, walk across it then start pushing and shoving to get comfy on my pillow leaving me about one square inch. Flynn would jump up on the end of the bed then walk up on top of me then give me an almighty head butt nearly knocking my head off to let me know he was back. I do miss them though.

Melissa, Mudpie and Angel Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

You refuted her charges quite well! Mudpie sleeps probably half the day and half the night. She likes looking out the windows during the night but thankfully lets me sleep.

World of Animals, Inc said...

This was a wonderful post. We know any toy you touch is now a cat's toy. You may be the first kitty to stay up all day and sleep all night. Can you come over and show our kitties to do that? Thanks for the share. Have a wonderful day.
World of Animals

pilch92 said...

Very interesting I am surprised you are not that into nip though. Silvervine is like the caviar of the cat world so you have good taste. XO

The Island Cats said...

CK, every cat is different. That’s what makes cats so unique! Cats can’t be type-cast.

meowmeowmans said...

Great rebuttals, CK. Yup, you're definitely a cat! :)

Catscue Cat Mom said...

I think you have set TW straight CK.

da tabbies o trout towne said...

ck....we iz knot nip fanz either.....grazz yur talkin grate stuff...tho ta bee honest ...therz one heer whooz knot been a loud ta try nip.. jezuz heed never settle ~~~~~~~


Dash Kitten Crew said...

Some of ours are nip fiends, others prefer Party Mix! None behave like puppy dogs except when someone goes into the kitchen!

Three Chatty Cats said...

Hmm, I guess #5 is TW's best bet. But we all know you're a cat, CK!