Monday, August 10, 2015

Nocturnal Eater

I’m here at the dining room table so we can chat about my eating habits.

TW says I’m a nocturnal eater. Oh sure, I get her up between 4-6 a.m. like any good cat would do and she walks me into the kitchen. I eat a few pieces of kibble while she’s preparing half a small can of stinky goodness. Nine times out of 10, I take a few licks and walk away to go snoopervise out the window. Sometimes I just walk away. She cries that she doesn’t know what to feed me and why does she throws away money on my food.

TW: Do you know there are hungry cats a few blocks away who would love to eat this food? They’d love to know they’re going to get fed every morning.

CK: You can bring them my leftovers.

Often those leftovers are a lot but TW is too lazy to get dressed and walk it out to the strays. She’s hoping against hope that I’ll come back to eat it. Occasionally she gets her wish.

Depending on whether she goes out tramping or not, I’ll get a pouch of gut rot anytime between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. We alternate between Luna Tuna, Island Delusion Illusion and Autumn Bounty. Mostly I’ll lick some of the pumpkin soup and leave everything else. What really drives her crazy is one cycle I might go nuts over the Island Illusion but the next it’s just a delusion. I won’t smell it. Same for the others.

Daily TW has to chase me around the house with the gut rot.

TW: CK, if you don’t like the Autumn Bounty perhaps I won’t order it next time.

CK: *nom nom* Ummmm … this is good grub. Who said I didn’t like it?

Then she places her order and I lick it and leave it.

After 4 p.m. my binging begins! I wolf down the 3 oz. can of FF tuna in a flash over the next hour. [Note: Nicky and Autumn used to have 30 minutes to finish their food or it got picked up. I get as much time as I need cos I wouldn’t eat enough otherwise.] Of course, I’m still hungry since I haven’t eaten anything all day. I’ll wait till Pop comes home and look longingly at him.

Pop: Are you looking for something from me?

CK: More food. Pop, can you please order tell TW to let me have some more rations?

Pop: OK. TW, CK needs another can of food. Look at her; she’s wasting away to nothing. Look at that stunning face and tell me you’re not going to give her more.

TW: I’ll give her another half a can but if she stuffs herself tonight, she won’t be hungry tomorrow morning and we’ll waste another half can of food.

And so it goes. Sometimes, she’ll get bitchy and give me something that she knows I won’t like or something I’ve never had before that she got at Blogpaws and I’ll go to bed with my tummy growling.

The next morning we start the ritual again. Anyone else a nocturnal eater?

Let’s order Chinese!

25 comments:

  1. I eat anytime I can get it - and it's always gone is less dan a minute!

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  2. OMG! We are soul mates, CK!!! I do about 95% of my eating between 9 p.m. and 6:00 a.m.! The Human leaves me food in the morning, but it is a rare day that it is not still sitting there when she gets home--you might ask, Why give it to me at all? Because she feels too guilty to let me starve during the day, that's why!! She too weeps as she scrapes the food into the garbage . . . but she is weak, CK, weak, I tell you! Putty in my paws. As they all should be! XOXOXOXO

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  3. I want to know how you get your human up before the crack of dawn! That would never, ever happen here! I've noticed that lots of kitties have this skill, and I can't seem to crack the secret.

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  4. Pierre would like to be able to stretch out his mealtimes like that, but some kitty who likes chicken will steal his food if his back is turned, so it's mealtimes or nothing. Like you, sometimes he chooses nothing and worries the head peep.

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  5. Several of us have mastered this skill, too. Drives our Mommy crazy. We say that's a short trip!

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  6. Hahaha, I love how you wrap TW around your paws. I mean, she may cry, but sounds like she tries everything to meet your satisfaction :-) My boys do that with toys. They like a certain toy so I order lot of it, then they totally ignore it!

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  7. We eat when Mom puts it down! MOL
    But she does leave us some nibbles out to snack on.

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  8. I am exactly the same CK. I have my mum tearing her hair out in frustration because I won't eat anything through the day. She gives me two small tins at night and leaves the old food "just in case". By morning all the fresh food and most of the older food is gone. And so it starts again.....

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  9. My cats will only eat at night lol, no matter what time I put the food down, they won't touch it till i'm in bed.
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  10. You poor kitty, doesn't CK know she is your servant and should cater to your every whim? No wonder why you prefer your Pops :)

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  11. We sometimes have a wee bite at night but mostly we sleep through when Dad calls lights out!

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  12. Mom just typed our whole comment and it disappeared. She refuses to start over. Suffice it to say that Fiona and Giulietta are picky eaters and drive her crazy, just like you drive TW crazy. Then they eat kibble all night, which is all they ever wanted anyway. The best Fiona will do is lick the juice off the canned food. Keep up the good work of keeping TW confused and guessing. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty may, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  13. Mum feed us wet canned food, but just before her bedtime, she gives us a few kibbles for night, because she knows we'll eat them at night. Purrs

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  14. You are in a pickle CK. We are usually given wet food once a day...in the morning. Occasionally we get fed about 8pm. We may lick it and walk away. We're not all that hungry. However, if I've been chasing mice and sis has been out sampling nip I get hungry and Kali gets the munchies.

    Shoko

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  15. CK...we all graze round heer sew we guess we R ...tho if we sleep all nite which iz un like lee then we R knot....then again what we like two day we willna like next week sew whooz ta say for sure if we wood eat it at 3:19 am ore 5:29 pm......N now we haz loozed R trane oh thought...which iz eazee ta due round heer ~~~ ♥♥♥

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  16. Truffles was definitely a nocturnal eater...with Mudpie I'm still trying to figure out what she wants! Pickiest. Cat. Ever.!!!

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  17. CK, we're like you...one day we're all gung ho about a food, the next day we turn our noses up to it. Of course, that's usually after the mom has invested lots of green papers in a case of it. Heheheh.

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  18. I will eat ANYTIME!
    have a great week...

    Noodle and crew

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  19. Truffle will eat almost anything. Brulee is the finicky one. Sometimes she'll walk right up to the plate and other times, she refuses to even walk into the kitchen when it's feeding time.

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  20. The Human was gone the whole freaking day and half the evening too, so I punished her by not eating. Heh heh. I'm just biding my time till she goes to bed.

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  21. I feel your pain, CK! I am exactly the same as you! It drives the human meowing mad, but what I say is I have to get my entertainment wherever I can these days otherwise life is very samey!!

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  22. Oh CK, I can feel TW's pain. Carmine is a pretty picky eater, too. It makes it especially hard that he's only supposed to eat urinary tract noms and there are very few choices that he gets bored with very easily! I have to add a bit of gravy from "regular" cat canned noms so he'll eat it sometimes.

    If you like pumpkin, I found some pouches of pumpkin in a store about a month ago. For the life of me, I can't remember who makes them, but if you're interested, I'll find out. Carmine and Lita seem to like a bit of pumpkin mixed into their noms, too.

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  23. Oh CK and poor TW. Mommy feels fur TW since Lexi was givin' hers fits a while back. We eat when mommy puts it down fur us in da meownin' and dat's not da same time everyday. Purraelly dusn't happen at da same time 2 days a year. MOL And we get an hour noow to eat, cuz me be a weally slow eater and sissy has sowed down in hers old age. MOL But mommy did find dat on da days when sissy is balkin' 'bout da nommy goodness she luvs to eat now dat ifin mommy will put a tiny bit of those probiotics on it, she'll scawf it down in no time. Maybe TW oughtta twy dat. One little packet can last a kupple weeks cuz mommy only gives it to hers when she's be balkin' and only a little shake. By da way weez saw and read yous udder postys, weez just kuldn't comment last week. We was havin' lots of purrawllems wiff our open id.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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  24. We're usually pretty good, especially Gracie and Zoe. Moosey is a little more of the wild card. Most days he eats pretty well, but sometimes...

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