Wednesday, October 8, 2014

8 Things TW says That Make Me Hiss

You’ve hissed me off, Woman!

If your peeps are anything like mine, when certain words or expressions come outta their mouths, you just want to HISS. For most cats, the number one word would be NO. Since I’m such a good cat, I don’t hear that a whole lot; if at all. These are my eight in no particular order.

1. I’m sorry Baby Girl!!
She says that when she almost steps on me or kicks me, which she doesn’t do that much. The times I get annoyed is when she says it because she just misfired a rocket or coated hair band and it hits me square in the face or chest. I usually get even by biting her sometime before nightfall.

Did you lose this, Woman? I dare you to get it.
2. OOPS! or OOPSIE!
Translation: I just f’ed up your blog and can’t undo it. This phrase is most commonly used while in PhotoShop when she uses the wrong tool but she can usually undo those. I still don’t like hearing it.

3. Just a minute.
This is usually followed by “I’m using the human litter box” or “I have one more paragraph to read.” Both are unacceptable. If I want food or play time, I want it NOW and not when she’s good and ready.

I’m out here waiting so get your [bleep] out here!

4. Wait till —
This is followed by the many excuses why she can’t attend to my needs. “Wait till 4 o’clock. I can’t give you dinner early.” Why, Woman, is someone gonna execute you if you do? “Wait till I finish eating. Then I’ll play with you.” Screw you, Woman. I want to play NOW! “Wait till I finish commenting on this blog. I’m doing it for you, you know.” That comment can wait for a half hour. It’s gonna be there forever. I’m not!

5. I’ll be right there!
She’s actually telling me that I’m not as important as the newspaper she’s reading or the puzzle she’s doing. It’s a good thing that I don’t have self-confidence issues.

News flash: I’m more important than the paper and
computer games.
6. This is your favorite food.
No, it’s not. It’s gut rot. If it was my favorite food, I would have eaten it.

If I liked this, you wouldn’t have to chase me through
the house to lick the gravy.

7. I haven’t got all day.
Yes, you have Woman. It’s not like you’re earning real money or going to a job. This really hisses me off. I’ve got my head stuck in the tunnel or I’m standing on the tissue paper trying to stalk my prey—her hand or a peacock feather—and she can’t wait a couple of minutes. Cats have spent hundreds of years honing their stalking skills and she wants me to unlearn them just to suit her.

I’m not through with you yet, Woman!

And by far, the most annoying thing TW says is this.

8. Work with me, CK!
Translated, this means: I’ve finally got a minute to play with you, CK, and you won’t play with me. Hello! What an insult this is! I’ve been wanting to play all day and you, TW, haven’t worked with me!! Now you can go plink youself! Since when does The Cat live by her schedule?? She should make the time to play with me when I want or I’m not gonna play when she’s all good and ready. It doesn’t work that way. Pfffttt!

So what words or phrases do your humans say that hiss you off?

31 comments:

Jeanne Pursell said...

Love your style of writing!! Happy WW! Pretty kitty!!
Jeanne, Chloe and LadyBug

The Indulged Furries said...

Those are all good phrases to make a kitty hiss. Mine is "we'll play more tomorrow".

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

Well, of course we kitties should always come first, and most of your complaints here boil down to your human breaking that rule. I guess I am lucky that my human had such a good trainer in Sparkle!

Anonymous said...

OMC Dat's so funny. MOL Meez hears da In a minute a lot. But da one dat me hates da mostest and me finks sis Lexi wuld agwee is, "Let me finish my coffee while it's hot, please?" Like weez weally got a choice.

Luv ya'

Dezi

Ann Staub said...

MOL... this was funny CK. For Shiner, she probably hates the word "carpet". That's what I say when I want her to get off the couch or bed. She's pretty stubborn and I usually gotta say it like 50 times.

Austin Towers said...

Good points, CK! When The Staff says to me "Do you want a brush?" Duh!!! Is the pope catholic? She says it every day, several times!! The fact that I am lying on the floor belly up, paws splayed, looking like a right charlie! What does she think I want? Maths homework?

Sometimes, Cats Herd You said...

We MOLed at this, CK. It's obvious that TW doesn't have her priorities straight. It's supposed to be all about YOU all the time.

Tamago said...

LOL they sure make kitties hiss :-) I use some of words similar to your list like, just a moment, when I'm in bathroom or doing dishes etc. #8 is so true. Finally when we are ready, kitties lose interest. Kitties rule so we gotta work on their schedule!

Molly The Wally said...

OMD we so know those ones and BOL yes when they try and palm off cheap food as good stuff. As if we didn't know gut rot when we smell it. Staff for you. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly

Melissa and Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

This is so funny, CK. You sure have a lot of work cut out for you trying to keep TW in line! I think the words that make Truffles hiss are any words I use to try to coax her into posing for the flashy box :)

Savannah's Paw Tracks said...

I have trained Mom L to jump out of ther office chair the instant I come up behind her and meow loudly...as well she should. Often I just want her to walk to the open patio slider door where I lie down to watch squirrel TV and ignore her.

Team Beaglebratz said...

Ok - so we iz Beaglez BUTT CK, u iz a kittie that we can identify with soooooooooo well. Our mom Kim uzez the wait a minute or just a minute phraze ALL THE TIME! Even when we NEED tue go outside - we don't haf a doggie door where we can let ourselvez out - if we didn't NEED tue go out NOW then we wood not b tellin'her we NEED tue go out NOW! Butt she just continuez on the'puter or watchin'TV. An'just watch what happenz if one day we CAN"T wait a minute - then she'll b sorry butt then WE will b the onez in truble fer the mess on the carpet. An'if we wuzn't hungry NOW, we wood not b moanin'n groanin'n pawin'her leg tue feed us an'git AWAY FRUM THE'PUTER, NOW! One just cannot git good help theze dayz.
Shiloh-Lord of the Manor an'Diva Shasta

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

MOL you nailed it CK!

Christy Paws said...

MOL! Boy, I sure can relate to all of those! We especially hear, "Just one more minute" when mom is on the computer at meal times. She sees us staring at her but makes us wait while she finishes "just one more thing."

Patty Woodland said...

That was pretty hiss-terical CK. You really suffer, don't you?

da tabbies o trout towne said...

CK...we iz crackin UP !!!! ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Brian said...

That was some cool list CK, but I am surprised you stopped at eight!

Marilia Bavaresco said...

Hehehe! Like here!

Jenna,Mark Drady said...

My kitties are not too happy with me when I accidentally step on their toes and things like that :(
I always feel so bad, but man.....it's like my legs are one of those agility course things where the dogs weave in and out of those bars!
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

Kitties Blue said...

Your #7 is the one that really gripes us. She pulls that every time we stand on the threshold between the kitchen and the catio as if we should sprint in our out in a nano second without giving all the ramifications due and thoughtful consideration. Humans are the most inconsiderate creatures! XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

The Island Cats said...

MOL! CK, we've heard all those things way too many times. But we hear NO a lot too. Guess we're not as good kitties as you. ;)

Kitty Cat Chronicles said...

Preach it, CK. We feel your pain.

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Let the church say AMEN, Sistah!

Me, I almost never hiss--well, maybe I hissed a few times in the past week. I even GROWLED really mean when the Human tried to give me some nice brushies. I feel a little bad about that, I really do--but honestly, couldn't she see it Wasn't The Time For That?

meowmeowmans said...

You go, CK! You totally nailed it. Number four really ticks us off, too.

Caren Gittleman said...

I get the "just a minute" thing ALL of the time and I hate it too! Love, Cody

Flynn said...

I get a lot of those too, especially the favourite food one. Just because I ate it yesterday doesn't mean I am going to eat it today.

Maxwell, Faraday and Allie said...

Allie: I feel your pain girlfriend - especially on the "in a minute" !!!

Kjelle Bus aka Charlie Rascal said...

What can I miaow CK ?!
I do recognize your list TO well !!

XOXO

Marty the Manx said...

MOL! Can we add "Seriously? I just sat down!"
Marty and the Gang

Barbara Rivers said...

Hehe, those all seem to be valid points for complaints ;-) My pups don't like to hear me say "Not right now, we'll play later" when I'm working on an article...

Great blog, by the way!

Carma Poodale said...

In our house, daedae doesn't like the words "settle down!"
This is said at least once a day. He gets to running around the house at a high rate of speed, running up and down the cat tree and jumping on and off the furniture.
He has actually ran across our feet slicing the tops of them as he zoomed away.

Molly Mew doesn't like the"no more outside today" but other than that she has us well trained.