Friday, March 30, 2012

Feral Friday

TW thinks I'm bipolar. I don't know why that is cos anyone can see I'm not a bear. I'm a cat, Woman! She also says I run hot and cold. Again, I'm not a faucet and I'm not water so how can that be? I'm a cat, Woman. See my claws?? Better still, feel my claws??

She's trying to teach me to play without using my claws and teeth. Good luck with that, Woman. I can see you need to feel my claws otherwise you think I'm running water. I see some nice, juicy flesh and start to salivate. Can you blame me? I've tried not scratching her when we play but it just isn't fun. Now I've got a "Time Out" and she's crying all over the place. She wants to know, with all the cuddly cats in shelters, why they had to adopt a feral one, without any love in my soul. Just lucky, I guess. Suck it up, Woman. Really, those are pretty strong allegations. No love in my soul? I am hurt and I can see by that scratch that you are too.

The reason for her falsehoods and innuendos is that I'll go a couple of weeks being nice and sweet and then, out of nowhere, I attack for the kill.

I'm watching you, HHGutt! I know you're up to something!
Case in point: I was finally allowed back in the bedroom last week and have been sleeping peacefully on the pillow next to her head. She says it's been killing her allergies but why should I care. I'm on a nice comfy pillow on top of a nice comfy pillowtop mattress. If she didn't want me to sleep here, she should've gotten a mattress hard as a slab of concrete like Pop did.

Last night, I jumped on the bed and instead of curling into a ball, I stared at her. That's all I did was stare. Is there something in the Constitution that staring is illegal. She got all bent out of shape and moved herself into the other room. I soon followed and the be-atch took that opportunity to go back in her room and lock the door! Let me state that at no time last night was she attacked in any way, shape or form!

Look at this innocent face!
Her claim is when I stare, I'm just waiting to attack her. The first move she makes or bare skin I see and I'll be on her. That is just not fair and would never stand up in a court of law, except maybe in Florida. Intent is NOT a crime, Woman! I've explained that its HHGutt that hurts her at night and not me but she's not buying. I have the most innocent face so I don't unnerstand what her problem is. I suspect it's that she doesn't like me. What's a sweet little cat do do?

18 comments:

CrazyFusa said...

HAHAHAHAHA! You KILL me CK!!! "except maybe in Florida" HAHAHAHA!
Luv you my friend.

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

Oh CK!! You poor misunderstood kitty!!! I think you have TONS of love in your heart! I really don't necessarily think the scratching/biting is exclusively related to having been feral.
Sometimes Cody scratches and bites by accident...it is just that your Mom and I get you kitties so riled up and excited and bottom line is you aren't human, you react out of instinct...on the other paw....maybe your Mom smells like tuna or catnip and that makes you want to attack her? lol. No matter what the reason is this was hilarious and tell your Mom to just "suck it up!"

Brian said...

I think you need to write Dear Sparkle and seek some advice CK before she gets out of paw!

crazykittykat1 said...

Tell her to put da blanket over her head and go to sleep. MOL.

I love your Easter pic on the top.

The Island Cats said...

Bipolar?? CK, you're just acting like a normal cat....or are all us cats bipolar??

FURKIDSMOM said...

We love your stare!!! We think you've totally purrfected that look.

The Florida Furkids

Prancer Pie said...

Sounds normal to me. - Precious

Sparkle said...

You sound like Binga, CK, only more extreme.

Extreme Binga. Hm. Even I am dubious at the sound of that.

Marg said...

Oh CK, that is hysterical. Too funny. We know you aren't all that bad. We all scratch our assistants every now and then. Two Two ran up Mom's arm while she was watching that tube thing, and there was blood all over the place. Mom did say some norty words but we covered our ears. Hope all of you have a great week end.

Carolyn said...

Hahaha! CK you're a piece of work!! Glad I met you. What I want to know is, what's so different about Florida? I've told Austin that staring is a hanging offense in Wales! happily he doesn't put the scratchy/bitey on me too often :)

Mariodacat said...

CK - you are "one of a kind" (Thank cat because the world couldn't handle two of you). he he you are so funny. A bi-polar kitty!

Father Tom said...

CK, it's no use. Humans will never understand us and they'll treat us like dirt.

Hahahahahahaha!

You know I'm kidding. Love the stare. My best move is to wait for early, early morning, then I curl up right in Mom Julie's face, with my furry back to her and purr. She pretends to be smothered, but always purrs back.

Love the header, too!

Huggsies,
Tom
xx

Rykers Boyz n Allie said...

Oh you are so OBVIOUSLY totally and completely misunderstood!!!

Bassetmomma said...

Just popped by from the hop to say hi! I think deep down you must be a loveable kitty! :)

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Darling, If the Humans want BORING predictability, they should get themselves a d-o-g. We felines are, um, temperamental! Did your Woman not understand that?? Staring at a sleeping Human is well within the range of normal cat behavior. She needs a chill pill, my sweet.

Rumpydog said...

And the humans think YOU have a problem? *sigh* She shouldda just give ya a cookie from the start.

The Teacher's Pets said...

Very funny post, CK! I don't think you are bipolar at all but if your mom keeps insisting that you are then I suggest you sneak over to the computer and take an on-line assessment test and then leave it there for your mom to read for proof!
And, no, there isn't anything in the Constitution that states that staring is illegal! You have every right to stare at your mom for goodness sakes!

Clooney said...

That stare looks pretty cute to me!