Wednesday, November 7, 2018

G-d Save the Cat (I Mean it Man!)

Hola kitties! Saturday didn't quite go as planned. TW and Pop got up early—well Pop gets up early every day but not TW. They did me wrong. Very wrong.

G-d Save the Cat (I Mean it Man!)

I got up for breakfast around 4:15 a.m. Then when I woke up again at 7 a.m. TW was preparing a second breakfast for me. Score! Right? No it tasted funny and there was hard, bitter white specks in it. I tried to eat around the biggest piece. Then we both went back to bed.

G-d Save the Cat (I Mean it Man!)
All photographs by Pop.
When they both got up, TW chased me around a bit with the food and I nibbled some more. Finally I jumped up on Pop's bed and drifted off with a smile on my face. I was set for the day.

Pop came over to pet and talk softly to me. Suddenly TW burst into the room holding my PTU and laughing maniacally. "BWAHAHA", she said while Pop was all grabby hands as he picked me up. Before I could work up a good struggle, I was in that box thrashing about and screaming.

The trip down the hall and outside was a bumpy one with Pop banging the PTU into everything in sight. I felt seasick but couldn't barf. Then I heard a voice that somehow sounded familiar as I was jammed into the car. When she mentioned Howie, I remembered it was my furrend Angel Prudence's human. I continued to sing the songs of my people while the peeps talked and there was music on the radio. Finally I gave up and just lay there wondering if they were gonna dump me someplace like they did to Fraser every year.

The destination we arrived at was not familiar to me but I soon heard a familiar voice. It was Dr. D. and she had a hench woman with her. The four of them let out gales of crazy laughter as they poured me from the box. "BWAHAHA!" Immediately I started singing again. The songs I was singing were the songs of the punk rockers TW made me listen to as I spit, snarled, hissed and growled out the lyrics. It was like I was auditioning for the Sex Pistols. "GOD SAVE THE CAT! I MEAN IT MAAAANN!"

G-d Save the Cat (I Mean it Man!)

You know what happened next. After the basics, the accomplice put me in a burrito hold and Dr. D. stuck a needle in my leg and bled me. The final insult and indignity came when I was once again man handled and burritoed and then snip, clip, snip and my gorgeous long claws were history. I heard "BWAHAHAHA!" again. TW and Dr. D. were enjoying it too much. They were high-fiving their success. There aren't many pics since Pop was assisting in calming me down and TW—slacker that she is—forgot to bring her flashy box or ipawd.

Much to Pop's relief, I checked out fine and my blood work came back excellent too. Teeth and ears were fine and lungs were clear. My weight hadn't changed. Not bad for a 13+ year old cat who started her life in the mean streets of the ghetto.

G-d Save the Cat (I Mean it Man!)

After hours ticked by, I was finally able to jump off the table still bleeding profusely from my punctured leg. I hid under the chair Pop was sitting on. They tried to coax me back into the PTU with treats but I wasn't eating anything they offered me. I sat and listened to TW spewing lies about how aggressive I had gotten again, my bowel habits, etc.

G-d Save the Cat (I Mean it Man!)Then we were on our way home. I'm shocked TW didn't want to stop for coffee or something. I barely uttered a word all the way home. We drove and drove for hours or maybe we were parked in front of our complex for hours while the humans chatted. I kept glancing at my watch—or I would have if I wore one.

I was in a drugged-out daze when we got home. I staggered around; I didn't have the strength to jump on Pop's bed or anywhere. The biggest insult was after I thought I was safe and sound back in the condo, Pop stepped on my tail.

Once I did jump on the bed, I felt spent. Tomorrow is another day and then The Cat will be the one laughing maniacally "BWAHAHA!" as I exact my revenge.

NOTE: We feel to lucky to have Dr. D. Karma brought us together. Many years ago when we first started going to the last vet place, I was supposed to see another vet but she had an emergency so they axed us if we wanted to see Dr. D. The rest is history. Dr. D. is the most knowledgeable vet I know. She's up on all the latest trends, doesn't believe in overmedicating and has the touch with cats. I trust her and she doesn't usually overstep the boundaries I set. She recommended Gabapentin years before others were prescribing it. Every time I read another cat blogger's horror story about their vet, I thank Ceiling Cat for Dr. D.

21 comments:

Fur Everywhere said...

I'm so happy that you have such a wonderful vet - it's hard to find good vets and good human doctors these days. I'm so glad that CK is doing well!! CK, hopefully you won't be shoved in the PTU for another visit for six months now! :) <3

The Church Cat Family said...

Boy oh boy!! Get a load of those gloves to handle you with! CK, you're one brave kitty, that's all I have to say. Hope you're feeling better ~ Tom x

Kruse Kats said...

We always knew you were a handful. Thanks to Theresa for agreeing to motor you in the style you should be accustomed to.

Brian said...

Dang CK, that's no fun, ever. I'm glad it is over though and you are in excellent health!

edie said...

I'm glad you're safe at home now. I hope you won't need to go back to the vet for a while.

The Swiss Cats said...

OMC, CK, we're sorry you had to go through this ! You're so brave ! We're glad you're got good results at the vet. Purrs

Jean Neilson said...


An excellent vet visit, CK. Scratch yearly vet visit off on your calendar. You're probably good for another year, CK. I'm proud of you. The vet's place really stinks. It's a wonder no one's told her. Bet your vet has a stinky place too.

Shoko

p1x1ecat said...

Pumpkin here. You need a new PTU. We have one that's soft, has a big opening, and Mom put a bed in it, too. It has lots of room for moving around and mesh windows to look out.Let me know if you want me to send you a link. Those old fashioned PTU's are awful.

Jans Funny Farm said...

Well, despite the indignities, no one (else) got hurt and you survived to sing and fight another day. Sounds like you have a nice vet.

Eastside Cats said...

CK, it's lucky that you made it outta there ALIVE! They stole your blood and your nails and your dignity, didn't they?!?
And your momma is all happy about it too! Say WHAT?!?
I am sorry that Pop stepped on your tail; you know he's very sorry and feels awful 'cause he lurvs you and stuffs!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

CK....thiz iz howl o ween epic...sure de day iz done N past but de horrorz ewe saw hurd N endured haz made for a best seller....moove over jason...CK iz heer with her 13th...N herz knot wearin a mask

{ we iz buzzed happee yur ree port came bak sew good, but due knot inn clood thiz line in yur mooovee day bew; roo inz it.. ya noe } ♥♥♥

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

What a nightmare for you! I am glad everything checked out well for you though. The indignity of cutting your claws too!
I never cut Flynn's until he became ill and couldn't wear them down naturally. Once he went to the vet for a dental and when I brought him home he tried to rake his claws along the carpet, and they just slid along the surface. Someone had cut them! I rang up to ask why when I hadn't asked for it and one of the nurses had decided they looked too long and sharp. I was madder than he was! He needed his claws for climbing the big old oak tree.

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

Poor CK! The vet's office is a little dramatic needing welding gloves on sweet little you. I am glad you are healthy. I am not a fortune teller, but I would bet money that someone in the condo is going to bleed and not you :)XO

Melissa, Mudpie and Angel Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

You poor thing! I don't think Pop and TW took such delight in your torture though. So, so glad you're purrfectly healthy!

Kerry Barbero said...

You poor dear. I'm sorry you had to go to that place where the aliens have taken over. You braved it well though. Thank goodness you didn't get sent up to their mother ship! I'm sorry you were given the "G" pill. They tried to give me that whole and I spit it out. Then they tried crushing it up and hiding it in my food and I wouldn't eat it. Then they tried squirting the crushed bits in my mouth and I turned my mouth so that it squirted back all over them. Tee hee hee! Maybe you can step on the humans' food with your paws when you are fully conscious and sit with your back to them all day! That'll teach 'em to mess with you. Luvs. -Valentine (& Mom Kerry) of Noir Kitty Mews

The Island Cats said...

CK, what an experience! Thank cod you were drugged so you didn’t have to feel the full effects of it all. We’re glad you checked out good.

Three Chatty Cats said...

Phew, sounds like it was quite the day! Somehow I don’t think all of it was recounted with accuracy. But who knows, maybe TW does bust out with BWAHAHA now and then. Glad everything checked out okay, though!

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

Wow, that was quite an experience, CK! I hear the tests for you came out great, so you are good for a very long while! Binga went to the vet today for a quick check up, and I think she needs to take some lessons from you - she only got growly once.

Holly said...

What a day! Glad you got good results, hope you’re done with the vet for awhile.

Tamago said...

Oh my, what an ordeal! Glad it's all over and you got good results.
Dr. D sounds like a great doctor. I've seen too many doctors who want to overmedicate.
I hope you get your revenge :-)

Kitties Blue said...

CK, we know what you mean about having a good vet. Our vet is the best, but everyone in the office is wonderful. If not, they are out the door, never to be seen again. What wonderful news that you checked out A-Okay. We'll be anxious to hear what you are planning for your revenge. We know you won't be the only with a loss of blood. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy and Sawyer