Wednesday Word—Neighbors

Look at the lovely foliage and that’s the Umpire State Building in the background!

CK has had many careers. Today I’m trying my paw at Real Estate. I have the opportunity of a lifetime for some furrends of mine and their staff. Yes, you could live right next door to The World’s Most Stunning Cat! Don’t faint cos it’s true! You’ve all read in this blog what a crappy wonderful community I live in. Oh come on, the elevator doesn’t catch fire every day and all the CO problems are so last year. Guess what? There are no less than four apartments for sale/rent on this floor! In fact, you can have the honor of moving in right next door to this stunning ghetto kitteh! How titillating is that! The apartments on either side of us are empty and can be yours.

Let me tell you a bit about the apartment next door that’s for sale. This true 2 bedroom, 2 bath unit features high ceilings, fully renovated kitchen with granite counters and stainless steel appliances, breakfast bar and hardwood floors. It also includes washer/dryer in unit, new HVAC and offers partial city views. Plus, you can knock on the door and come play with ME! All this for just $425,000 for 1200 sq. ft. Hey, Woman, why is their apartment 200 sq feet larger than ours? It’s not fair. What does “under contract” mean? Does someone have a contract out on whoever buys it?

The apartment on the other side of us is For Rent. $2450 per month gets you all this: Top floor corner unit, NW exposure with partial NYC views. 1260 sq ft one bedroom, two bathrooms and a sleep loft/office. Open kitchen and living area with 14 ft ceilings and overwhelming sunlight. Large master bedroom with en-suite and walk-in closet. Tons of storage. Just 15 minutes to midtown NYC! All that AND access to this little ghetto kitteh. Hey, this unit is bigger than ours too! Did you ax for the smallest unit in the building? I’ll bet I could jump off that cool loft and land on my feet.

If you move into either of these apartments, you better be damn quiet cos Pop needs his beauty rest and CK doesn’t like loud noises. I would appreciate if you could bring me treats.

Lots of trees mean Bird TV.

Then there's the unit down the hall and note it’s also bigger than our place. This 1322 sq ft. 2 bed, 2 bath lofted condo features 16 ft ceilings, in-unit washer/dryer, storage, newly refinished hardwood floors and new loft carpeting, stainless steel appliances, newly refinished bath jacuzzi tub and more. Check out the appliances you also get: refrigerator, dishwasher, oven/range, microwave, washer/dryer. built-in entertainment center, built-in desk and cabinet, There’s no NYC view in this unit, which I guess is why it’s only $409,000. How come this unit’s ceilings are 2 feet higher than the other one? Someone is not being truthful and it’s not me. 

Pets are allowed with a maximum of three. So how did I do in my first try at being a Realtor? I bet you guys want these apartments, don’t you? Who wouldn’t want to live close to Stunning Keisha? You may NEVER again have this opportunity. Oh, and, um, I had nothing to do with the previous owners putting these units on the market. Really.

Note: I was gonna publish pics of the actual units but TW didn’t think that was wise. I’m not worried about my furrends that comment every day but there might be some unscrupulous humans and cats, including, but not limited to, my political enemies, rival street gangs and the po-po, that can use them to pinpoint my location. I must keep my whereabouts a secret.

Yeah, and a deeded indoor parking spot all included in the maintenance fee.