Friday, November 16, 2012

Flashback Friday

Out of all the blog posts I've written, this is my Pop's favorite one. It's from May 22, 2010 and got 7 whole comments. I think Pop enjoyed it so such because he only found out what happened when he read the post so he laughed and laughed.

The Great Birch Beer Caper
There is nothing better than having a laugh at The Woman's expense. She makes writing these blogs so much easier. I always have a new topic to write about. This is our latest adventure.

Pop went out to do the grocery shopping and TW was doing the laundry. Earlier in the day, she'd gotten some huge rocks that lit up—more about them some other day—and was looking for pot holders to put under them to protect the furniture since they can get hot. Into the linen closet she went, with me following closely behind. If there's an open door, I want to investigate. Due to the size of our apartment, the linen closet doubles as a pantry. Are you with me here?

The woman pulls out the first pot holder and, viola, down goes the six-pack of Birch beer. Crash! Bang! Fizz! POP! Split! This was worse than the oil spill off the Louisiana coast! This was worse than the earthquake in Haiti! Send in the Marines! The split you heard was my sides from laughter.

OMC! The floor and rug were covered in red Birch beer. Woman! Do something! She did. She started crying and then she started sopping it up with kitchen towels from the linen closet. After she sopped up the tears, she started on the floor and rug. By now everything was sticky, including her pants and slippers, which she kicked off. Birch beer, for those young 'uns out there is like root beer, only red in color. It's about 50% sugar, which is why it was in the closet and not the refrigerator.

I had to investigate further but every time I took a step, I stuck to the floor. The sweet smell was overwhelming. The puddle was spreading and one of the cans was hissing. The woman was screaming at me to get away. And I should do as you say why? woman.

OMC! Woman, you better get this mess cleaned up before Pop gets home!
BTW, this very blurry pic is taken right in front of said linen closet.

The woman's next move was to go into the kitchen to get the Murphy's soap to clean the floor. Unfortunately, when she reached for the soap—OMC, I don't know if I can type this, I'm laughing so hard—the Ajax fell out and opened. It's the only toxic not-plant-based cleanser in the house and it was all over the kitchen floor. The woman was standing beside herself, she was so upset. Cue the tears! Cue the dramatics! Cue the "why me, Lord. what have I ever done" cries. Oh, those hormones were unleashed and I was running for my life.

After much ado, the two spills were cleaned and I was free to roam around again. Whew. Another disaster dealt with. Another blog post written and documented.


Mariodacat said...

YIKES - I don't know how we missed this disaster the first time around, but we did. I'm so happy i got to read this post tho. It's providing the laughter for the day at poor TW's expense. M said she can relate to a bad day like that tho!

GLOGIRLY said...

Well we're laughing so hare we're crying over here. At first we thought the reaction was a little strong given it was just beer. (not knowing what birch beer is) And then you tell us it's sugary and RED?!?!?!?
The ajax was like toxic frosting on the top.

: ) Katie

(Glogirly would have cried too)

Marilia said...

Kisses on your nose!

Brian said...

And I thought don't cry over spilt milk was a silly saying!

CATachresis said...


No no it's not funny at all …… ;)

Unknown said...

OMC! I think TW and our huMom might be the same person. HuMom never walks when she could trip