Senile Saturday—Door Wars

To me a door war is when TW locks her bedroom door and won't let me in. In fact, any closed door in the apartment is enough for me to declare war. After all, on my adoption papers, TW wrote that I could go anywhere in the apartment I wanted to.

This is the only side of the door I ever see!

This is Senile Saturday so I'll tell you the peeps lame definition of door wars. I kinda hesitate to write about this cos it could cause recriminations around here. Since my fame, several humans in our complex read my blog. Then again, when have I shied away from embarrassing the peeps?

TW always decorates the apartment door for Christmas. When they had the house, they used to light up the windows and porch. Our door is opposite the elevator so it's the first thing anyone sees when they get off the elevator. Our old neighbor in the next apartment used to put up a mangy wreath with holly berries for Christmas and leave it up until Easter. This is fact. The only way TW could shame them into taking it down was to put up an Easter decoration.

Then the new neighbors moved in. A couple of snobs from NYC. They both work in finance so you'd figure they must have a bit of money. Let's just say when it comes to decorating, all their taste is in their mouths. Last year their Halloween door consisted of a light-up pumpkin that they couldn't figure out where to plug it in so they added some fake spider webs. Half of the spider webs fell down the next day. The neighbors didn't bother to fix them so they stayed that way until Halloween.

This year, the same pumpkin when up. TW countered with a door covering with bright pumpkins on it. For some reason, the neighbors took the pumpkin down and replaced it with this:

Scary, isn't it? Tacky doesn't begin to describe it. I don't want to tell you what the peeps first impression of it was. Shock, mostly. It looks like some sort of hundred-year-old voodoo thing. Upon close inspection, they're cats but that's NOT what they remind the peeps of. They found it offensive as did this little ghetto kitteh. It stayed up as a shining beacon of, um, bad taste until November 6th when they put up their elaborate Thanksgiving display which consists of

some plastic leaves.

The peeps don't usually do a Thanksgiving door display but TW was inspired. She rushed out to the 99¢ store to try to top this amazing leaf and she found this:

I don't pretend to know what goes on in the humans' minds but I do think that dollar would've been better spent on 2 cans of Fancy Feast. This thing is tacky but it certainly blows the leaf outta the water. Na mean? Then again, think how stunning MY picture would look on the door!