Woman! Why Do You Hate The Cat?

Hola kitties! Did you know today is Answer Your Cat's Questions Day? Of course you did cos you're cats so you're smart and tuned in to what's happening. First I'm gonna answer some dumb questions I found on the innernet then I'm gonna ax TW just one tough question. I'm only gonna make her answer that one question cos I'm way more inneresting than she is. These answers were given just prior to going to press last night.

TW ain't too bright and quite boring which is why I'm not axing her input on this group of stupid questions. She answers questions like a politician.

1. What color is your toothbrush?
What kind of question is that? Pink although if she I mean it was a crayon, it would be classed flesh colored. I use TW's fingers to keep my teeth clean. I know some of you get your teeth brushed but not me. I take the initiative to keep my teeth clean and pearly white.

2. Name one person who made you smile today:
Pop cos he worked at home

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
I was having a moment with Pop and purring. He makes a big fuss over me.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Annoying the hell out of TW for my nightly treats

5. What is your favorite treat?
Right now I love Rock Lobster Temptations.

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
I've known a few cats who pole dance. Does that count?

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?!!
Woman, it's time for my treats!

8. What is your favorite ice cream?
I don't eat ice cream but Nicky liked vanilla with ham chunks. TW didn't like cleaning up after he barfed it up. HAH! I like human food but not desserts.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
The liquid in my tuna stinky goodness although I do imbibe in a beverage occasionally at the water fountain.

10, What was the last thing you ate?
Natural Party Mix treats 

I warned you those questions were stupid. The Cat hopes you liked her answers. Now I'm gonna pose a hard one to TW and I hope she answers honestly. I mean, do I look like I'm ready to take her guff? I don't take no guff from any human.

Woman! Why do you hate The Cat so much???
CK, I don't hate you. I know I say it sometimes after you attack me or when you're acting out. I can't help you if you're bored. You have three boxes of toys, five cat trees and tunnels. Most of the time you just look at me like I'm from Mars and show no interest when I'm trying to play interactively with you. If you don't want to play or sleep, I don't understand what you want from me. You certainly don't want cuddle time. Any time I try to pet you, you go to bite me. You make me laugh more than any cat I've had but you also try my patience and frustrate me more than the others. Maybe I'm just not worthy of you. Perhaps I'm too high-strung in my old age to have a cat such as yourself.

I think the only truth to that drivel was that she's not worthy of me cos she ain't. Seriously, it's my job as a cat to drive her to distraction. The cats before me apparently weren't doing their job. What do you think?