Monday, February 23, 2015

The Plot Thickens …


If you could read the red type on the envelope I’m sitting on, you’d read the word URGENT. I’m here to talk about an urgent matter of life and death—MY life or death. I’ll pause so you can gasp. I think the peeps are trying to off me. The clues are beginning to add up. Hear me out before you dismiss this as a paranoid rant.

Yesterday TW found a chicken bone—the sharp short part of the wishbone to be precise—laying on the floor next of the garbage can. We had rotisserie chicken the day before. Was the bone deliberately planted and left overnight where I could find it or are the peeps’ old eyes not as sharp as they used to be? When I mentioned I could have died if’n I’d tried to eat that bone, she didn’t even try to make up some story about the evil gum gnome or a mouse knocking it out of the trash. She made a comment about how some other cat she had seen online might be a lovely lap cat. I mentioned that Pop loved me and would be totally broken hearted. She replied that at least he wouldn’t have to put a pillow between he and another cat when they shared a bed. Yeah, Pop’s been putting a pillow between us cos I try to bite him. So what? I’ve been doing that for 9 years now and this pillow act is new and wearing thin.

Then she found Pop had left a ribbon on the kitchen table unattended and unsupervised. Gasp! Hasn’t he heard what happened to Katie when she ate that long ribbon?

Yeah, I can take care of myself and have never tried to eat ribbon or bones but what if? Do you think they’re trying to off me and how do you think I should retaliate?

To eat or not to eat; that is the question.

31 comments:

Patty Woodland said...

I don't know CK - maybe they are getting tired are getting bitten. Perhaps you should consider (the horror) a touch of nice.

Katnip Lounge said...

It's a CATspiracy!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Darling, Come over right away! We need a council of war.

Bev Green said...

Oh my CK..there is a chance they may be thinking of an addition to your home..yikes! maybe you should play nice..and see if the mood changes hahaaha :) loves Fozziemum xxx

Bev Green said...

Pee ess Marbles here has been a serial biter for nearly 12 years i think..we haven't offed her yet ;)

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

I think they are just getting old! I'd put together a primer on dealing with old humans except neither of the humans here fess up to being their ages.

Lone Star Cats said...

Puke in their shoe.

Molly TheWally said...

OMD CK the plot thickens. Crikey! Have a marvellous Monday.
Best wishes Molly

Austin Towers said...

I think this needs Union intervention, not to mention police, fire, ambulance and social services! We need a plan, a strategy, a bitey or two!!

Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...

OH CK!!!!!!!! We are so very worried about you. Please keep an eye out for danger.

Marilia Bavaresco said...

Don´t eat this!!!

Tamago said...

Gasp---sharp bone and long ribbon! This is urgent matter indeed. But I'm sure it's an honest mistake and your peeps are not trying to off you. Still, I think you need to retaliate to teach them a lesson ;-)

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

Oh no CK it can't be...they couldn't...they wouldn't...would they?

GLOGIRLY said...

We agree with Summer...sounds like something Glogirly would do. She doesn't see as well, hear as well, and she especially doesn't remember as well as she used to.

You can always deposit these questionable items in a shoe along with other *gifts.* That ought to jog her memory.

; )

Kitty Cat Chronicles said...

Hmm… this does sound like a dicey situation. It does sound suspiciously like a setup for an "accident" to occur. You better be extra diligent about keeping your ears, eyes, and nose alert to any other potential "accidents." Keep us updated!

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

It does sound suspicious, but I know they both love you if they put up with the biting for 9 years.

Simba said...

t will be very telling if the next time there is a chicken bone of the floor, it has some chicken meat attached to it. Or if they leave a rubber band out. It is a really good thing you left the ribbon alone - they can be dangerous! I go for the curling ribbon and it always makes be barf. But it has not killed me yet.

Anonymous said...

CK it must be some kind of cosmic test......just do what you know you should do - no bitey ribbon OR chicken bone......you are stronger than the cosmic forces!

Hugs, Sammy

da tabbies o trout towne said...

ck.......while thiz iz proof pos a tive that burd iz for $h!t.....due knot let thiz sway yur dee sizion that yes, TW & popz iz up ta noe good.....

we R sendin ewe a perch with a camera dee vize inn side gill three...plant de perch ona pedestal... ina un a sue ming manner..... N start ree cordin...yur gonna knead file foot age when ya take em ta court...

we will get bak two ewe short lee bout ret tree bew shunz.....♥♥♥

Sometimes, Cats Herd You said...

Just deposit those items in their shoes. Won't TW like walking with half of a wishbone in her shoe?

Flynn said...

OMC! You have me worried now. You need a bodyguard and I'm on my way.

Melissa and Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

Yikes, that definitely does sound suspicious, CK. Maybe you should try adjusting your attitude a bit and becoming a little angel like me :) BTW, isn't rotisserie chicken the greatest??? --Truffles

Brian said...

Dang CK, good thing you are looking out for you girl!

The Island Cats said...

We think your peeps are getting forgetful, CK. You may want to trade them in for younger models. :)

Savannah's Paw Tracks said...

BFGF BEWARE! I am biting my claws worrying about you

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Plenty of room for two if I skooch my fat @ss over on the tippity top of the tower. (It's a short one--only as high as the Human's desk.) Smoochies.

Jenna,Mark Drady said...

Uh Oh! Better watch your back CK!
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

Laila and Minchie said...

If your peeps are anything like ours, it's probably just old age forgetfullness settling in. MOL

meowmeowmans said...

It's not you, CK, it's them. But good to be on guard, just in case!

Anonymous said...

Aaaaw CK they's just gettin' old and senile. MOL They wuld never twy to off you. We mentioned you in ow posty today but fur got to pinback or whatever it be called. Sorry. But we know yous be da only CK wound and evewypawdy knew hoo we wuz talkin' 'bout. Weez do luv ya', and ifin it gets too bad there, yous can always come and stay wiff us.

Luv ya'

Dezi and Lexi

Kitties Blue said...

We suspect, as with our pawrents, senility is beginning to set in. We think they have no intention in trying to "off" you but are just getting careless in their advanced years. You will most likely end of taking care of them at some point. Good luck! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo