Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Wednesday Word—Karma

I was innocently lying here on the kitchen table when all hell broke loose.
CK here with your update on what’s happening at La Condo Keisha. This is a continuation of my Monday Musings. Our Sundays are usually a flurry of activity. Certainly not the typical easy Sundays.  Laundry is done; beds are remade; food is cooked; The Cat is ignored.

Almost every Sunday TW makes her “Delishus chick-hen.” It’s called that for a reason. Can you guess why? This Sunday, they decided to make a mess of what they call “Baked Ziti” because they can have it for 3-4 meals. They buy most of the ingredients in advance and just buy the test tubes* the day before they cook it. Pop axed TW if she was sure the cheese wasn’t expired. She answered they were dated July and August.

Waiter!!! What’s this crap? Where’s my chick-hen??

TW went to work cooking up the test tubes. She handed them off to Pop to cut up and started cooking the pasta. So far so good. The Cat was still being ignored and, worse yet, pushed aside on the table. Then things got good! TW started to drain the pasta. We don’t have no fancy strainers or anything cos we poor people. TW has done this a thousand times without incident. I think you know where I’m going with this.

What’s all that screaming about in here? Keep it down.
OMC! Agonizing screams suddenly came from the kitchen. “I’m burning! Somebody help! I’ve got to get out of these clothes!” Pop went on cutting the test tubes cos he knows what a drama queen TW is. He figured she’d grabbed the metal part of the handles instead of the rubber cos she sometimes does that.

When he finally looked, she was holding her shirt up with one hand, trying to shake the "Ove Glove" off with the other and still screaming. Once she was able to shake the glove off, she started stripping right there in the kitchen! Whoa! I didn’t expect a floor show of this magnitude! The sight was disgusting and arresting at the same time. I couldn’t look away.

Her terribly distended abdomen was bright red and I could practically see the stars coming out of it. (While I do have a photo, I will spare you.) She has no idea how she did it but apparently, she missed the sink with the scalding water and poured it onto the lip of the counter that her belly was resting up against. She was in tears. I was thinking, Woman, remember that time you hit me square with the foam rubber rocket? Well that’s what it felt like. Karma one, TW zero.

After she changed, she felt a little better and went to the computer to get to work on blogging and visiting chores. It wasn’t long until Karma struck again.

All I want is an EZ Sunday and Chinese takeout. Is that too much to ax?
Pop: Houston, we have a problem! A big problem.

TW went waddling to the kitchen table to see what Pop was going on about. The ricotta that was dated August was moldy. I cannot repeat the HBO words cos this is a family blog. Pop was about to scrub the whole operation and The Cat was egging him on. Pop, are we gonna order Chinese food now? You know how much I like Chinese food!

As usual, TW dashed my dreams. She decided to run out to the bodega and buy another tub of ricotta. But, Woman, you’re injured! I cried. It’ll cost a fortune! It’s more cost effective to order Chinese.

Unfortunately, TW wasn’t too burnt to run out. She said it would make her forget the pain she was in.  It was late when the peeps ate but they had Baked Ziti and The Cat had nada.

TW is fine. Her burns were minor and although her abdomen is still a little tender, it’s not even red. I told you she overreacted.

* Test tubes include any meat such as hot dogs or sausage that is in casings cos they’re in the shape of test tubes and they’re 99% chemicals.

39 comments:

Kwee Cats and Art said...

First, we love the test tubes, and Chinese food. We are glad TW is okay! Our Mumsy always seems to find a way to injur herself in the course of a day, so we understand.
Hey, you made great effort. We thnk you deserve that Chinese food now....and if you care to share...... We're available.
;-)

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

The Human laffed so hard she almost choked on her coffee. I was disgusted by her guffawing & cackling 'cause clearly she really did not understand the tragic nature of this tale, which lies of course in the sad line, ". . . the cat had nada."

Oh, the inhumanity!

Lone Star Cats said...

After all dat ordeal, ya didn't get anything? How unfair!

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

Wow, CK, I think you've permanently scared my human away from the kitchen! 'Cause she knows she's on borrowed time before doing something like your human did!

Austin Towers said...

Well firstly, I am glad you explained about the test tubes cos I was bulging my eyes here! Secondly Baked Ziti sounds absolutely disgusting and now my eyes are out on stalks! Thirdly, "she was holding her shirt up with one hand" has my eyes crawling round the back of my head! Fourthly, my eyes have nowhere else to go!

The Cat Had Nada sounds like Dr Seuss :)

Molly The Wally said...

Oh no what a drama CK. Poor TW and then mouldy cheese. What a tragedy. We hope TW is OK now and no worries we have had many a panic in the kitchen. Go hide we say till something smells good and then get in the way. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly

Sometimes, Cats Herd You said...

You weren't kidding, CK. At least she didn't lock herself out of the condo when she went to get more cheese. We're glad that TW wasn't badly hurt. But the important quesiton is whether you are scarred for life by the incident.

Mr Puddy said...

MOL...CK, in general, my mom doesn't cook...she never told me the reason. But your story tells me some clues...tee...heh..heh
xoxo

Bev Green said...

Oh CK poor TW..i myself have cooked myself more times than I can count in an incident of Fozziemum's Kitchen Nightmares ..the pain is almost but not quite as bad as expired ricotta...dang!hugs Fozziemum xx

Jenna,Mark Drady said...

Oh no!!!! OUCH!!!!!! Poor TW!
I have had something similar happen to me before, and it hurts like royal heck!!!!!
SO sorry, hope her burns are feeling better now!
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

Marilia Bavaresco said...

I´m hungry!

Patty Woodland said...

Poor CK. No chick hen for you.

crazykittykat1 said...

OMC so glad its not too bad. You need to take it easy on TW now, she is recooperating.

Melissa and Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

CK, your adventures just crack me up. And I hate to tell you, but that dinner looks pretty yummy!

Kitties Blue said...

Thanks for explaining test tubes. Humans are so lame and clumsy. Our mommy and TW should compare notes sometime. Sounds as if they get into similar predicaments. Sorry you didn't get your usual chick-hen or any Chinese take-out! XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

Tamago said...

OMC poor TW and her belly. Glad it wasn't major burn. Then the moldy cheese. Ew! But the real victim here is obviously you...no Easy Sunday, no Chinese food. I hope TW will make up for it :-)

meowmeowmans said...

What an adventure at the Condo, CK! We're sorry you didn't get that coveted Chinese food, after all of that craziness.

And we're happy that TW is okay!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

waddya meen sun dayz R for CHICKN ??

all burd $hitz a side glad yur mom iz aye oh kay N dinna knead ta seek medical attention; especially sinz it wuz a sunday and a roo teen ER visit wooda jumped frum 985.50 ta 14,556.75

stop by TT two morrow if ya can...we got de scoop on mold~~~~

♥♥

Brian said...

That had to be so scary for TW and we are glad she is okay. You best keep a close eye on her CK!

Carma Poodale Allen said...

I am sure glad to hear that TW wasn't hurt any worse. The worst thing I read was you didn't get any chickyum! I think you should have at least gotten some cheese out of that meal. My Molly Mew loves cheese.

Colehaus Cats said...

Dang! What an adventure, or as our dad would call it, "YouTube GOLD!" Sending purrs for the burned belly!

Nerissa said...

I was WONDERIN' what those test tubes were for.

Glad to hear your mum is feelin' okay. Burns are icky things. Hope she's not hurtin' any more.

Purrs,
Nissy

Caren Gittleman said...

I am sorry but this was LAUGH OUT LOUD funny, so much so in fact, that my husband asked "what's so funny?" OMG this was hilarious! I am soooooooo glad you weren't burned badly, but that entire paragraph of CK describing what happened, and your stripping in the kitchen, just had me in stitches! Then, in like 2 min after you changed, you went to READ BLOGS??? Seriously?????? You are a rock star! Oh, I LOVE Chinese too and rarely get it because my husband doesn't. Seriously glad you are ok! xoxo

Bernadette said...

Your peeps are surely entertaining, CK! We'd almost be happy for a little entertainment around this boring house. Glad she's okay though, and didn't eat the moldy ricotta.

The Florida Furkids said...

Yikes....it sounds like you had a LOT of excitement and NO good noms for YOU.

The Florida Furkids

Mariodacat said...

OMG - TW is worse than M and I didn't think anyone else could be that bad. Yikes - good thing she wasn't seriously hurt because it could have been bad. Maybe TW should stay away from dangerous things like kitchen things!!!! he he

Maxwell, Faraday and Allie said...

Holy CAT, CK! And nooooo Chinese in sight after all this? CRIMINAL. (We do hope TW is feeling better. Burns are not much fun.)

Kitty Cat Chronicles said...

Wow, what a crazy night!!! So sorry to hear about TW's burns, but glad she is okay. That look on your face in that photo when TW was stripping is priceless. We laughed out loud at that one! We can't believe you got nothing after all of that hoopla, CK - unacceptable! We think you should protest.

Pawesome Cats said...

If you're gonna start stripping in a blog post - you'll need an x-rated warning. We laughed at your tale, but in all seriousness are very glad you weren't badly hurt.

Nailah Bone said...

Poor TW! I've burnt myself many a time while cooking, the worst being when I accidentally touched the oven rack. I'm glad to hear she's ok but do mourn your loss of Chinese food. :(

The Island Cats said...

Holy ravioli! CK, you gotta keep your peeps in line...'specially TW. She can't even pour boiling water right. (But seriously, we're glad she's okay.)

Anonymous said...

OMC Meez sowwy 'bout da cookin' mishap. Dat's hapuned tu meez mommy a time or ten tu. MOL and meez wus weally wunnewin' 'bout da "test tubes"...MOL Now dat's a hoot!!!! Did yous not even twy da ziti?? Cuz meez luvs da pasta noms, deys be vewy tasty. And 'cept fuw ricotta, cheese dusn't weally go bad. It gets mowe and mowe aged and sumtimes (when yous lucky=mommy's wowds) it goess sharp. Da bestest kind of cheese. (smacks lips) Anyways, hope yous not bein' ignowed anymowe, and havvin'' a Pawsum week!!

Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥

Dezi

Anonymous said...

Ouch! Poor TW! Sounds like it was a pretty bad burn. I'm sorry you didn't get your chicken or Chinese food. Sounds like she would have been better off just feeding the cat.

Katie and Glogirly said...

Whoa!!! Disaster averted! ...sort of.
TW is lucky she didn't end up in the ER! Gloman had a similar accident long ago making tea for Glogirly. Scalding water, sweatpants, and some pretty bad burns in his nether regions resulted in a painful ER visit.

Hopefully TW and Pop have learned their lesson and will stick to chick-hen.
; )

Kjelle Bus said...

No Chick-Hen for dinner ??!!
That is just soooo wrong , CK !!
Glad to hear that TW didn´t get burned bad , I mean just think how much work that would have been for you , CK ;-)

Glad you explaned what Test Tubes is :)

XOXO

Anonymous said...

OMC!! I hope TW is not gonna have any scars!! ANd well...Mom L started a grease fire in our kitchen in 2006...don't wanna go on about it...but hey...we got a whole new kitchen outta that move. Course, the bank got it all back and then sold it cheap...whatever

Jobi Harris said...

This could be a whole new sitcom - What Goes on in the Kitchen Stays in the Kitchen. We are happy TW didn't get badly burned! We operate under the belief that drama is very healing. She did the right thing.

Eileen said...

Oh noes, poor TW! Mom bean says a burn hurts lots and there is not much one can do about it.

Poor CK too! No chick-hen? What!

We is glad you explained about the test tubes. They gets eaten here a lot, MOL

Sasha, Sami, & Saku

Clooney said...

Uh, no disrespect to TW, but hot damn was theese funny! You crack us up, CK! (Glad TW is okay though.)