Monday, May 20, 2013

Who's That Woman Breaking Into My Condo?

I was chilaxing with my Pop since The Woman decided to leave home a hunnert years ago and decided not come back. Heh heh. I have my Pop all to myself. Everything had been going great when suddenly there was a ruckus at my door. Someone was breaking in! OMC!

I immediately ran into my office UTB got into attack mode! Two woman and a ton of tote bags came walking in. I thought to myself the bruvs usually arrive with empty bags, fill them up and then run out. Are these rookies for real?

The one woman—the older, ugly one—bent down and axed if I remembered her. You? I sneered. Don't make me laugh. Fearing that she may stuff me into one of those bags to take me to the v-e-t or something, I retreated back into Pop's room fluffed out my fur and arched my back. Then they left, taking nothing. I figured my work was done. I had saved Pop and our belongings.

RING!!!!!! Our doorbell rung! Whoa! Sounds like the Chinese food is here! Doorbell = takeout = food for CK. Everycat knows that equation. ACK! One of the intruders has returned! I kept my distance. She bent over and tried to touch me. My teeth found her fat fingers causing her to pull them back and retreat.


Suddenly, bags and bags of Greenies' SmartBites and something called Natural Balance were removed from one of the bags. OK, Woman, you may have won me over this time … Rockets? You want to shoot my rockets to me? Wait a second … are you?? … no, you can't be. She left a hunnert years ago … Jeez, Louise! Pop, our vacation is over!! No more peace and quiet. I knew we should've changed the locks.

[ED NOTE: There will be a full Blogpaws review coming this week.]

26 comments:

Patty Woodland said...

Oh CK - you know TW would not leave you forever!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Darling, darling, darling, what a shocking ordeal! Since she is disrupting your happy and fulfilling life with your Pops, it really is a good thing she brought you so much swag. I might pop over later to see if there's anything good you want to share.

Prancer Pie said...

Hopefully, there are lots of treats hidden somewhere in all of her stuffs!

Kjelle Bus said...

CK , I don't think you wan't TW to dissapear for Good !
Who's fingers would you bite then ??
XOXO

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

Yeah, my human came back too... but I was sort of glad because her boyfriend couldn't keep the other cats from stealing my food and I lost my appetite because he didn't give me my appetite stimulant the last day... my human says next time she is out of town, she is either bringing me or hiring a vet tech, and both options are kind of frightening.

Sometimes, Cats Herd You said...

She didn't even bring you Chinese food? No wonder you bit her, CK!

Katz Tales said...

Hmm, if the loot was good, then maybe you forgive her, but furry slowly!

Molly The Wally said...

We agree if mum brings back a good swag bag maybe you can forgive her? Have a marvellous Monday.
Best wishes Molly

Brian said...

Hey CK, my Dad had so much fun seeing TW and Plush CK that "WAS IN DA HOUSE"!!!!!!

Tamago said...

Haha, sorry your time with Pop was intrrrupted! But glad TW is back, and with lots of goodies!

Kruse Kats said...

Why does food always win us back and make us forget we were mad? works everytime.

The Florida Furkids said...

We can't wait to hear more!

Thank you so much for your kind words about Auntie El's passing. We're sorry it's taken so long to reply but Mom is having a hard time. It's comforting to have the support of the Cat Blogosphere at this sad time.

The Florida Furkids and Mom Sharon

Maxwell, Faraday and Allie said...

MOWZERS CK, you too? We had this Total Stranger Nutcase Female walk in on us just as we had begun to train dad just the way we eanted him!

But at least you scored good noms. Toys on the other paw... *SIGH* NO WAND TOYS at ALL???

CATachresis said...

CK, Mum wants the lowdown soonest, whatever that means? Personally I think you were quite restrained in your welcome to the Woman (are you sure it wasn't a zombie infiltrator whose taken over TW's body? She seems pretty creepy to me!)

ciao, Austin xx

The Musings Of A Crazy Cat Lady said...

We're happy TW had a nice time. We can't wait to read all about what she did at Blog Paws.

da tabbies o trout towne said...

cathy keisha...we add mitt we iz knot good at math but bein gone a hunnert yeerz doez knot = + one bag oh treetz N + food...wears de looze 50's and 100's, wearz de catnip N slivervine, wears de purrsonalized masterCAT charge oh card with yur name embozzed in gold.....yea, sum thin iz reeeeeeeeeeeeely wrong here...hope yur mom hada grate time !!

Katnip Lounge said...

What is UP with peeps leaving and coming back with whole new smells?

It just ain't right.

Katie and Glogirly said...

All good things must come to an end.
At least she came bearing gifts.
I got the old "it wouldn't fit in my suitcase" excuse.
Lame-O indeed.

; ) Katie

Ann Staub said...

What a great picture of you and all your flat and plush friends! Can't wait to hear more about BlogPaws!

Kitties Blue said...

Glad you finally recognized TW. We hope she's not the one you were calling ugly. We're sure you'll be getting some extra attention as well as treats now that she's home. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

Oh CK YOU KILL ME!!! I do have one question though, how on earth did you wrangle "bags and bags of cat swag?"
I soooo enjoyed spending time with your Mom, she is just great! Oh and her fingers ARE NOT FAT!

Texas, a Cat in New York said...

It is normal that you would bite her fingers if she touched Greenies!
I ignored my human for 8.5 seconds yesterday. Then she opened her bags. Oh well...
She said it was really nice to meet your human!
Purrs

Derby, Ducky said...

Intruder alert.

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Hello darling, I was rereading your description of the way you "greeted" TW. While I suppose it was no worse than she deserved after the hunnert yeers of abandonment, you should be careful not to hurt the finger that pulls the rocket trigger. XOXOXOXO

meowmeowmans said...

CK, we're with you. You just can't be too careful with people coming in da house with new smells. Oh, by the way, we had so much fun meeting TW and Plush CK at BlogPaws!

Selina said...

HA HA! Well guess the woman felt ... um ... welcomed? ... back home? MOL!

Glad she had a great time!

Purrz!
Selina

PS - Great pics!