Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The Eyes of March

The Eyes of March

Yes, you read that correctly. Not the Ides of March but the Eyes of March. We had another incident in the condo. This is what reportedly happened. At press time, I hadn't found out all the facts. I don't know how I slept through all the commotion but I did. This is the story as it came across the AP.

TW was sound asleep on her side of the bed. When she sleeps, she brings the covers all the way up to her eyes because I a certain Mexican zombie cat named HHGutt attacks her during the night if any part of her is showing. [ED note: CK, you know it's you who attacks me.] One more remark like that Woman and I'm getting Pop to type this. Gutt will even draw blood through her nighties. Anyway, TW was all covered up while she slept when she awoke suddenly.

The Eyes of March

Teeth were attached to her eyeball! My The lower jaw was on the bottom lid and my the top jaw on the upper lid. Some cat HHGutt was trying to pull her eyeball right out of the socket. She freaked and you know how scary that can be! She pried me him off and ran to the bathroom—muttering HBO words all the way—to see if the delicate skin was broken on her eyelid or if, Cod forbid, the actual eyeball was punctured. She said it hurt like a sonnamabitch, whatever that is.

The Eyes of March

Since she was up, she reluctantly gave me my breakfast since the attack took place at the exact time I usually get fed in the morning. At least Gutt got that right. I cannot imagine how such an attack could've taken place but I took the blame. TW said she had a headache for 2 days after that and I once again found myself sleeping with Pop. Can you believe that now when she does open her bedroom door at night, she's been sleeping with sunglasses on? She thought she was smart but not smart enough. A few days later, she awoke with a set of teeth clamped around her nose. Yep, this little ghetto kitteh again took the rap. If'n I had thumbs, HHGutt wouldn't be that smart cos he'd be making his way down the chute into the compacter room where all the garbage goes.

This post originally was published March 18, 2013.

18 comments:

  1. Wow! Nobody here has ever tried grabbing a human eye! Although Binga is a famous nose biter.

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  2. Goodness, this HHGutt sounds like a he means business. Maybe, though, he was just trying to serve as TW's alarm clock, making sure that you didn't get fed late, CK. Obviously, nothing gets a peep up and filling your food bowl more than a tooth in the eye.

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  3. Oh my! You...I mean HHGutt attacked TW's eye? You..HHGutt must have been very hungry! Too funny TW wore sunglasses then you went after her nose. You are very smart!

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  4. CK is really nice to bite the eye that feeds you?

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  5. Now what does HHGutt think of this tale?

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  6. OMC ! TW should sleep with glasses... or a diver's mask... or a helmet ? Purrs

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  7. Eye think you were on to something there CK!

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  8. Poor TW, those are awful attacks. Sorry you had to take the blame.

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  9. Keep HHGutt right there. You are welcome to our party but not him. He sounds mean as hell-o.

    Shoko and Kali

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  10. Bad Cat Chris is famous for his nose-biting.
    About a month ago my Peaches was asleep on my chest in the middle of the night when one of the other cats jumped on the bed. Peaches freaked and whapped me across the (fortunately closed) left eye. It actually gave me enough of a black eye that people at work commented on it. And then didn't believe me anyway.

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  11. That was an interesting way to wake up TW. ;)

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  12. HH Gutt is always blaming you for stuff, CK. It ain't right!

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  13. In my house, HHGutt would likely have his stuffing removed if he did that!

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  14. ck...de next thing ya noe TW will bee sleepin with a: knightz oh shinin armor helmet on...best tell HH itz time ta pull out de big weaponz ♥♥♥

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  15. One of Mom's kitties caught the side of her eyelid with his claw....she had a terrible time trying to easily remove it without him trying to retract the claw and ended up with a black eye.

    The Florida Furkids

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  16. Wow, HH Gutt sounds like a psycho! TW must be afraid to go to bed at night.

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