Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Who Knew Fraser Wasn't Housebroken?

Who Knew Fraser Wasn't Housebroken?

Caturday TW and Pop set out with Uncle Vince to pick up either Fraser or Dougie from Home Depot, where I presume they worked part time. He would be invited to stay over the holidays. The moment they saw Fraser, it was love at first sight although Dougie preened shamelessly and almost had TW smitten. Fraser was about seven feet tall; he was full; and, boy, was he ever green! He was so fresh, he had new growths spurting out. They picked him right away. You see, last year's guest tree named Balsam got some moldy sickness before Christmas and they had to put him to sleep December 26th.

They rushed Fraser right home, set him up and gave him plenty to drink. Within twenty minutes of inviting him, he was home and fed. He was the perfect guest—green and smiling—or so it would seem. Sunday morning when TW gave him some water, she noticed some of his leaves/needles looked a bit dry. She figured he had to get used to living indoors like us feral cats do when we come into our forever homes.

Who Knew Fraser Wasn't Housebroken?
Nekkid Fraser

Sunday they dressed him up and that night around eight or nine o'clock when TW went to "feed" him, she noticed puddles on the plastic she puts under the tree for just this reason. Apparently, some of these guys aren't housebroken. She needed two rags to wipe it up. A half hour later, she was sniffling as she cleaned the stove and put the dishes in the dishwasher. (You've heard of whistling while you work? She loves to cry.) Pop came in cos he wondered if he was needed. He went over to Fraser and told TW there were more puddles of water. This guy definitely had some sort of bladder-control problems. Where are the Depends when you really need them?

TW knew she hadn't overfed him and certainly hadn't fed him since she had cleaned up his puddles.

They'd gotten a new stand about 4-5 years ago. They weren't sure it held enough water but it certainly made it easy to get the tree upright and standing straight. While the tree is laying down, you slide a "nipple" onto the trunk, lift it into the stand and click it in place. At the end of last season, TW noticed the tree skirt was always wet but had forgotten all about it until Sunday night.

TW (brilliantly): I think the stand is leaking. Can we possibly change stands now? The tree is fully lit and decorated.

Pop: I'm getting the old stand down and we'll attempt it.

You should have seen them! What good is video technology if there's no one to film something like this? Pop held a squirming Fraser while TW tried to get him out of the stand. After what seemed like forever, they had liftoff. Oh, he fought with all his might! TW shoved the stand outta the way and they plopped him into the old stand and immediately started a bucket brigade to fill 'er up.

Who Knew Fraser Wasn't Housebroken?

Of course they did a half-fassed job and plopped Fraser down on the wet plastic on top of the puddles. In their haste, they didn't think about getting a new plastic tree bag to put under it. OK, TW DID think of it but they somehow decided to skip that step.

In the process, they only broke two ornaments although a bunch fell off and didn't break. They had to take all the lights off the bottom because they had been sitting in the water. What a mess!

There were those on Facebook who thought I was the guilty party. I'm here to say the Cat slept through all the muss and fuss. Upon awakening, she was appalled to find that the Cathy Keisha ornament was MIA (Missing In Action)! GASP! TW thinks it may have been squished into the trunk of the tree or it's mixed up with the wet plastic tree bag underneath the tree. Either way, why is it that it has to be MY ornament that's lost? It's been three whole days and it hasn't surfaced.

Who Knew Fraser Wasn't Housebroken?
The CK ornament on Balsam last year.

How's Fraser been? Not that well. He's still looking very sick. TW is afraid we might lose him before Christmas or even before the weekend. She's thinking of the embarrassment of being seen disposing of the body before the holidays.

Please sending healing purrz and POTP to Fraser that he holds on until the 25th.

BREAKING: Pop is looking to adopt from someplace called Balsam Hill for next year if they have good post-Christmas sales and the peeps can swing it. TW says that this will be the last year Fraser will be invited for the holidays.

31 comments:

  1. What a mess! My human only gets fake trees... I think it is just as well, because I can only imagine what she would do under your humans' circumstances!

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  2. We adopted a new one from Balsam Hill dis year and are pretty happy wif it.

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  3. Gee, Fraser is not being a very good house guest!
    We purr he will behave until after Christmas.
    Purrs Georgia,Julie and JJ

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  4. Poor Fraser, we hope he rallies for the holiday CK,

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  5. Keeping our paws crossed Fraser makes it at least until Christmas day!

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  6. OMC WE WERE LAUGHING OUR HEADS OFF and CK you have a LAUGH like I do! Love, Cody catchatwithcarenandcody

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  7. OMC CK, Dat's just too funny. We've never had a real live tree, and most certainly never one dat big. And fank catness too, cuz this sounds like somethin' mommy would do. Sis Lexi did tell me of a tie when mommy bought one of those houseplant trees but was too 'fraid to decorate it cuz she didn't want it to die. MOL Humans!!! They can be a handful. MOL Good luck and big hugs fur all.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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  8. Now, I'm not encouraging you to misbehave or anything, CK, but your missing ornament is pretty suspicious. Perhaps Fraser has decided to replace you ... though he doesn't sound like he can be litter box trained so you might have the advantage there. Then again, he did have a nipple shoved up his rear end, so maybe his potty issues are tit for tat :)

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  9. Oh geez, I do hope Fraiser makes it until Christmas. Our newly adopted tree seems to be doing OK so far.

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  10. Poor Frasier, and your poor humans having to go through that ordeal.
    Hopefully he takes a big drink and perks up. Unfortunately, your folks couldn't saw a couple inches off his stump - that would have help give him a fresh end to suck up water.
    I hope your ornament turns up.

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  11. Oh, poor Frasier. This is what happens when you are so tall, handsome, and symmetrical. We'll be sorry to see him go so soon but like you said, he was well fed and well, then he peed.

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  12. Our mom adopted from Balsam a couple of years ago (after Christmas) when our old tree had to be shortened due to broken branches. She's been fairly satisfied. Balsam has remained in the basement this year, since Mom is not decorating. We cannot even imagine the maneuvers it must have taken to change that stand. Your humans are very brave. Hope your ornament turns up, C.K. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Lisbeth, Astrid and Calista Jo

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  13. Poor Fraser, getting blamed for something that wasn't his fault. I hope he makes a good recovery. Maybe some lemonade added to his water might perk him up.

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  14. See why we have an artificial tree? Get a tree-scented candle and you're good to go :)

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  15. I'm sorry you had such a difficult time with Fraser. Who knew that he would be so badly behaved? I'm glad that you were able to sleep through the whole mess. If it is any help, I have a fake tree and it gave us a ton of trouble this year too. I hope your tree makes it through Christmas!
    -Purrs from your friends at www.PlayfulKitty.net

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  16. We can't believe you slept through all of that, CK! We have a fake tree and this year half the lights decided they didn't want to work. So now the mom won't turn on the lights. So boring.....

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    1. Oh yeah...the mom says she'll be adopting a new one from BH too.

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  17. Poor Fraser! I'm hoping he can hold out for you guys until the big day!

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  18. Fresh trees are Christmas but a lot of care is needed. A fake tree requires less attention but you lose the character of the tree. Have fun playing with your tree.

    Shoko

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  19. That sounds like such a mess. I am glad I have a fake tree.

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  20. Stay string, Fraser! CK, that sounds like one big old mess. We have a fake tree, thank COD.

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  21. This is why I don't do trees anymore but the scent is worth the mess.

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  22. Well CK, this is the first I've heard of a Christmas Pee Tree but I do believe your humans managed to SORT OF sort things out - hopefully Fraser will hang in there until at least the 26th. After all your humans have gone through to SAVE him, it's the LEAST he can do! The CK ornament MUST have been caught up somehow in all the fuss - I bet when you clean the plastic thingie and Fraser out of there, it will be on the floor under everything.

    Hugs, Angel Sammy

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  23. Gabby 100% does not believe that these "light up trees" exist. She doubts them every year, and then when we get one she is always surprised.

    You need to make sure that Tree Pee problem is properly solved, too! A tree is no good for layin' under if it's all wet!

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  24. Oh no, what a mess indeed! But your post made me LOL! Poor Fraser, I hope he will live to see Christmas!

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  25. Oh, to have been a fly on the wall at your home, CK. And you slept through all of it? It sounds like you missed a real show! Well, we sure are sending Fraser some healing thoughts! We hope you're having a merry Christmas season!

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  26. CK.....be jezuz if popz & TW dinna haz a camera ta at leest get sum blooperz....thiz post iz hill larry uz; we noe they prob a blee due knot think sew but we iz laffin N laffin.....WITH ewe....mind ewe...knot AT...
    { uh huh } tell popz him mite wanna try a table spoonz oh corn syrup ore sugar....sum swearz bye thiz....otherz due knot swear at all ~~~~~~~ !!

    heerz two a merry Christmas anda happee one anda blessed one.....see ya ina few ☺☺☺☺♥♥♥♥♥

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  27. Well, Frasier certainly wasn't a good guest. So much hassle and mess! You were wise to sleep through it.

    Jean from Welcome to the Menagerie

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  28. My mom has given up on Frazier here. We have a fake one because the mess and hassle was just too much.

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  29. We had that tree wetting once in a while, not a pretty site. Caused a lot of HBO words around here; hence we now have a fake tree

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