Sunday Shocker: Nightmare on Jane Street

The scream heard 'round the world! Beware!

We don't live on Jane Street anymore but I'm certainly not going to broadcast our current location. I have political enemies, you know. This is a true story of a sticky little person who found her way into MY condo. While it's true that her father got our Wifi working again AND built my ToP (more on that tomorrow), this little monster thoroughly terroritzed THE CAT and her toys—and the peeps allowed this! I seriously don't know how Herba From the Burba lives with one of these. He's got his Neme and now I'm got a Monster in MY condo.

The following video may not be suitable for all kittehs. Some may find it disturbing; others may find it distasteful and even REVOLTING. For that reason, I've rated it PG-3. It's not suitable for kittens under 3 years of age. To view it, you must be with an adult cat. This video contains explicit images that might cause nightmares. Let this be a warning: THIS. COULD. HAPPEN. TO. YOU. 

You can view this video on YouTube here.

Don't they know that my tunnel is a teleporter? No telling where the Monster named Violet Tiffany could have wound up.

Today is "You Better Suck Up to the Cat for What You Put Me Through Yesterday" Day.

TO BE CONTINUED …

Hold the Onions

Luncheon meat is something that never makes an appearance in La Casa Keisha. I wouldn't mind it if it did but the peeps think we're healthier without it. In that same vein, TW never brings lunch home. She's rather eat out by herself than bring something home that she thinks I might enjoy. Taking both of those factors into consideration, I was surprised and delighted when TW brought lunch home the other day. This was no ordinary lunch; this was a legendary BLIMPIE! TW's lunch usually consists of either yogurt or a bagel with fake butter. This was spectacular. It was turkey luncheon meat! I immediately jumped on the table to partake. Unfortunately, the sandwich was covered with onion and oil and vinegar and little round black things that kept falling out, but at least it didn't have cheese. TW found a section with some meat that didn't have that stuff on it for me. A great time was had by all with the exception that TW smelled like a freaking onion all day. Yuck! I didn't even want to get close enough to bite her.

For me? Maybe I misjudged TW.

Ah-Ah-Ah-CHOO!

One minute I was CK grooming; the next I was Sneezy.

I succeeded in panicking TW yesterday morning. It was the first night she let me back in our bedroom since she threw me out months ago. What started out as a typical morning, soon turned ominous.

In the middle of grooming, I got a sneezing fit. I couldn't stop sneezing. I sneezed and sneezed and snorted, then sneezed some more as we walked into the kitchen for my 5 a.m. feeding. While I was eating my breakfast, I continued snuffling. TW was in full-fledged panic mode. It's a wonder she didn't call the AmbuVet right then and there. Any sane human would've seen I was fine. I ate everything on my plate and then ran into my tunnel to play. Not TW. She couldn't wait for Pop to wake up to worry him. She was babbling about how I needed to go to the
v-e-t and, to hear her talk, I was close to death.

Doesn't she ever get a piece of her fur stuck in her nose like I did? Once it fell out, I was fine. I only sneezed once more all day.

My Angel Secret Santa

I hear you grumbling that the holidays are over and you don't want to read anymore about them unless it's a picture of my assembled Tower of Power. Yes, Balsam has headed for the hills but the ToP still sits in the box, thanks to TW. But this is a beautiful Christmas story that deserves to be told.

Back in November I signed up on @CheshireK's blog for Secret Santa—not to be confused with the Secret Paws that Brulee and Truffle's Mom Paula works so hard at. This one is mainly Twitter anipals and this was the 2nd year I was participating. Around December 10th, I sent out a nice package of toys and treats to the cat I was matched up with and what a package it was—Halo treats, Greenies® treats, not one but 2 kickers, a laser toy and more. My package arrived in Pennsylania safely.

Angel Ryker

I waited and waited for my Secret Santa to arrive. December 20th … nothing. Christmas Eve … nothing. December 26th … still nothing. New Year's Eve … nothing. I was stiffed and I wasn't happy. Sure, I won close to $75 worth of swag in December and it seemed like the peeps were picking up packages for me everyday. It's the principle of the thing; I wanted what was due me. I wondered if it was lost in the mail or just deliberately not sent. I learned from the other CK that my Secret Stiffer was from overseas and since most of the cats on the list are from Australia, I'm hoping that Mr. Custom's Man didn't bring it home to his cat. Na mean?

I did what anybody who feels cheated does in these times—I posted about it on Facebook. The unexpected happened: an Angel read my post. Angel Ryker Richman. Last Thursday I received a Priority Mail package that said "Secret Paws." The return address read Maxwell, Faraday and Allie of A Tonk's Tail (er…Tale…). TW was leaky eyed before we even opened it up. Inside the box were so many presents and they were wrapped with tissue paper and ribbon. Being a cat, I was instantly entranced by the ribbon. TW tried to get a photo session but that wasn't happening.

Whoa! Check out this ribbon!

Score! They really know how to wrap for a cat!

Of course, TW had to taunt me with the ribbon, only to hide it from me later on.

I"ll get you, you little red tease!

Feel the teeth of pain!

My package included a nice card from Ryker and Allie. They talked Faraday and Maxie into sending some toys to this little stiffed kitteh. Lemme tell you about all the cool loot. There was a door knob dangler, wand toy, 3 pink smousies from Allie's private collection, her snowman covered with primo nip, and a spool with feathers. There was a toy for each day of Chanukah, which they celebrate and I may start celebrating. Oh yeah, I don't know why they had to send TW stuff also. Lord knows she has enough. They sent her a cutting board with a pad and pen and sunglasses and a Laurel Birch case for them. She loved and appreciated her gifts as much as I loved mine.

I love all my new toys even if TW had to Photoshop me in the pic!

Guarding my new blue spool and snowman.

I've played extensively with the wand toy and woke Pop up the other morning playing hockey with the spool, which is sure to put a smile on Faraday's face. What a great toy! I've sniffed the snowman and jumped for the pink smousies. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to Angel Ryker for thinking of me and also to Mom Lisa. Thanks Ryker's Boyz and Allie!

Shoddy Workmanship

If this blog looks a little like yesterday's blog, there is a reason. This is the story of shoddy workmanship! Yesterday TW posted my brand new calendar. It was rife with errors and big omissions!

Did you notice anything wrong? TW bets you didn't but her harshest critic—ME—did. This little graphic should spell it out perfectly—IF she didn't muck it up.

Let's give this another shot. For those who wasted ink and paper printing it out, I'm sorry and TW should be sorry also. I'm also waiting for a full apology, not to mention a little extra in my food dish.