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If your name is The Woman, you may not want to read this blog. You may wish to hang your head. I've given careful thought to this and have come to the following conclusions. However, I can be bought with a couple of extra cans of tuna over the next few days.
Quantity of Output. TW has been lax—no, let's call it what it is, LAZY— and hasn't posted to my blog daily. If I'm lucky, I'll get one post a week. If I'm luckier, it just may be funny and up to this cat's high standards. She hasn't even been providing me with material to blog about. I'm looking for some good, embarrassing situations on her part. You think she could've at least fallen in the snow or something. I give her an F or 2 paws down.
Quality of Output. TW has taken over 1300 photos of me with that flashy box. My eyes are shot from looking at that light. We have about 150 that are in focus and up to my specifications. I mean, she's got the World's Most Stunning Cat to work with and she can't do better than that? I'll give her a B- or 1 paw down since my readers seem to think my blogs are humorous and fun. I'll give my readers an A (2 paws up) for hanging with me through the "filler" posts, on the chance that they're going to get one they can laugh at.
Client Pawticipation. Can you believe I'm still using TW's e-mail and I'm too embarrassed to give it out on my blog or anywhere else? That's about the size of it. Another F or 2 paws down. I'm also sticking my tongue out at TW.
Pawticipation (Part 2). What a laugh. TW doesn't let me join in any of the reindeer, er, kitty games. If there's a blog pawty, special event, contest, etc., don't look for this kitteh there. She is totally ruining my social life. Big whoop, she let me send out a dozen Christmas cards. I didn't even hear about Secret Santas until it was over. Another F or 2 paws down and I'm starting to hiss.
Client Satisfaction. Strangely enough, my furrends seem to LOVE my blog. I don't get many comments but the ones I get are all fun and positive. TW may get an incomplete because I'm gonna wait until the Anipal ACATemy Awards to see how much the readers actually like it.
Overall rating. TW gets two swats, claws extended, and a couple of hard bites. Seriously, I don't know what I ever did to TW to get treated this way. Sadly, I don't expect any improvement next year, unless, of course, certain of my demands are met. In the mean time, look in the litter box woman, you'll find a special reward from me to you to show my appreciation for a job far from well done. That is, of course, if you can fit it into your "busy" day.
Quantity of Output. TW has been lax—no, let's call it what it is, LAZY— and hasn't posted to my blog daily. If I'm lucky, I'll get one post a week. If I'm luckier, it just may be funny and up to this cat's high standards. She hasn't even been providing me with material to blog about. I'm looking for some good, embarrassing situations on her part. You think she could've at least fallen in the snow or something. I give her an F or 2 paws down.
Quality of Output. TW has taken over 1300 photos of me with that flashy box. My eyes are shot from looking at that light. We have about 150 that are in focus and up to my specifications. I mean, she's got the World's Most Stunning Cat to work with and she can't do better than that? I'll give her a B- or 1 paw down since my readers seem to think my blogs are humorous and fun. I'll give my readers an A (2 paws up) for hanging with me through the "filler" posts, on the chance that they're going to get one they can laugh at.
Client Pawticipation. Can you believe I'm still using TW's e-mail and I'm too embarrassed to give it out on my blog or anywhere else? That's about the size of it. Another F or 2 paws down. I'm also sticking my tongue out at TW.
Pawticipation (Part 2). What a laugh. TW doesn't let me join in any of the reindeer, er, kitty games. If there's a blog pawty, special event, contest, etc., don't look for this kitteh there. She is totally ruining my social life. Big whoop, she let me send out a dozen Christmas cards. I didn't even hear about Secret Santas until it was over. Another F or 2 paws down and I'm starting to hiss.
Client Satisfaction. Strangely enough, my furrends seem to LOVE my blog. I don't get many comments but the ones I get are all fun and positive. TW may get an incomplete because I'm gonna wait until the Anipal ACATemy Awards to see how much the readers actually like it.
Overall rating. TW gets two swats, claws extended, and a couple of hard bites. Seriously, I don't know what I ever did to TW to get treated this way. Sadly, I don't expect any improvement next year, unless, of course, certain of my demands are met. In the mean time, look in the litter box woman, you'll find a special reward from me to you to show my appreciation for a job far from well done. That is, of course, if you can fit it into your "busy" day.❦ ❦ ❦
I'd like to take a minute to thank everyone who contributed to A Call 4 Paws and made my first ChipIn a success. You are wonderful.
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| Can you spot me now? This reporting work is hard! |
For those who don't know, I started out as a feral cat from those same mean streets. I wasn't taken to a resort like this. I was shipped to a kill shelter. A rescue then brought me to a no-kill shelter. I was thrown into a cell and never properly socialized. When I was adopted, my peeps couldn't pet me. I would attack at a moment's notice. My peeps think I must've been abused on the street because I still cower when a hand is raised to pet me. This upsets TW since they've never tried to hurt me.
Linda has provided us with these exclusive behind-the-scenes photos. As you can see, these cats are treated with tender, loving care. They have a human who lives rent-free at the sanctuary, who's sole job is to take care of the darlings. The cats live in four heated houses. They sleep on bunk beds and cozy cushions. Whoa, this IS band camp!
| Crowd into the photo. I'm gonna make you famous! |
| What goes on in the bunks stays in the bunks. Really, do these guys look feral? Look at the one in the wicker bed! |
I'm well aware that my furrends have their own charities and hometown shelters and are very generous. I've seen it during countless PawPawties. I just ax that you hack into your human's PayPal account one more time so these kitties won't have to go back to a life of crime to feed and defend themselves. Won't you please help Keisha's Kittehs?
ADDENDUM: Got an e-mail from Linda at A Call 4 Paws. She writes: "Thank you so much for exposing our furry friends at A Call 4 Paws Sanctuary. The generous donations are greatly appreciated and will be used to help more of our less fortunate furry friends. We'd also like to share with you that the cat inside the basket was adopted out to a beautiful permanent loving home last week. Thank you, Ms. Keisha!!!"
And thanks to everyone who's donated. You can make a difference. We're so happy to get that little bit of news. Time to do the "Happy Dance."
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| You've heard of Where's Waldo, now play Where's Keisha. (Click to enlarge photo) |
Another day, another award. Such is the life of a stunning cat like myself. My good furrend Mariodacat of Mario's Meowsings has bestowed this honor upon me. How can I refuse such a generous and good-looking man-cat?As recipient of this award, I'm supposed to—stop the presses! this little kitteh does what she wants NOT what she's supposed to—I'd LIKE to link back to the person who gave it to me and then tell 7 things about myself that you don't know. Trust me, this will be hard cos if you're a hardcore reader of this blog, you know more about me than my peeps.
- I have a cute, little kink at the end of my tail.
- I love to support animal charities and causes but my peeps aren't having the best of times financially. What little money they have, I make sure they lavish on me.
- I come from the ghetto by the mouth of the Holland Tunnel. Since this is Black History Month, I intend to celebrate by making my own "Put the Bitey On the Whitey" month. Pop almost needed stitches yesterday morning to close the bite I put on his wrist. hee hee
- I don't drink water. I stopped suddenly last August. This gets me more stinky soft goodness so I get liquid.
- I don't scratch the furniture or rugs.
- I'll only eat dried catnip and only if TW pulls it off the plant for me.
- Pop is the only human who can pick me up. He's also the only one I'll purr for.
Finally, I'd like to pass the award off to 7 other bloggers. OMC! I feel like I have God's powers thrust upon me! What do you mean, I exasperate, woman? "No, Cathy, I said exaggerate" Woman, for the last time, stay. out. of. my. blog!!! I apologize for the scene TW just made. Without further ado—or interruption from the cheap seats—the winners are:
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| Now don't I look like a Stylish Blogger? |
Mews and notes: Thank you to everyone who's contributed to the ChipIn for A Call 4 Paws. I hope we'll reach our goal. I'll be posting some pictures from the sanctuary very soon.
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