Friday, February 18, 2011

TW's Purrformance Review

If your name is The Woman, you may not want to read this blog. You may wish to hang your head. I've given careful thought to this and have come to the following conclusions. However, I can be bought with a couple of extra cans of tuna over the next few days.

Quantity of Output. TW has been lax—no, let's call it what it is, LAZY— and hasn't posted to my blog daily. If I'm lucky, I'll get one post a week. If I'm luckier, it just may be funny and up to this cat's high standards. She hasn't even been providing me with material to blog about. I'm looking for some good, embarrassing situations on her part. You think she could've at least fallen in the snow or something. I give her an F or 2 paws down.

Quality of Output. TW has taken over 1300 photos of me with that flashy box. My eyes are shot from looking at that light. We have about 150 that are in focus and up to my specifications. I mean, she's got the World's Most Stunning Cat to work with and she can't do better than that? I'll give her a B- or 1 paw down since my readers seem to think my blogs are humorous and fun. I'll give my readers an A (2 paws up) for hanging with me through the "filler" posts, on the chance that they're going to get one they can laugh at.

Client Pawticipation. Can you believe I'm still using TW's e-mail and I'm too embarrassed to give it out on my blog or anywhere else? That's about the size of it. Another F or 2 paws down. I'm also sticking my tongue out at TW.

Pawticipation (Part 2). What a laugh. TW doesn't let me join in any of the reindeer, er, kitty games. If there's a blog pawty, special event, contest, etc., don't look for this kitteh there. She is totally ruining my social life. Big whoop, she let me send out a dozen Christmas cards. I didn't even hear about Secret Santas until it was over. Another F or 2 paws down and I'm starting to hiss.

Client Satisfaction. Strangely enough, my furrends seem to LOVE my blog. I don't get many comments but the ones I get are all fun and positive. TW may get an incomplete because I'm gonna wait until the Anipal ACATemy Awards to see how much the readers actually like it.

Overall rating. TW gets two swats, claws extended, and a couple of hard bites. Seriously, I don't know what I ever did to TW to get treated this way. Sadly, I don't expect any improvement next year, unless, of course, certain of my demands are met. In the mean time, look in the litter box woman, you'll find a special reward from me to you to show my appreciation for a job far from well done. That is, of course, if you can fit it into your "busy" day.
❦ ❦ ❦
I'd like to take a minute to thank everyone who contributed to A Call 4 Paws and made my first ChipIn a success. You are wonderful.

10 comments:

  1. That's not a very good review. TW has a lot of making up to do. She better bring you lots of tuna. MOL

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  2. Your mom will cry OUT LOUD !!!!...Oh Dear ! Don't be so tough to your mom. I do love your blog serious !

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  3. Now go snuggle with the Woman!!! tsk tsk.

    xoxox

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  4. You might have been a wee bit tough on her, we thing your blog is wonderful! Maybe nip & a nap will help you too make up!!!

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  5. WOW!!! You were super tough on your Mom Keisha!
    I don't think she deserves such a harsh review, your blog is hilarious!!
    Don't feel bad, I didn't know about the Secret Santa either....phooey on our Moms!
    Love, Cody

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  6. CK, you really let your human have it! And we even get to see you giving her a well-deserved bitey! I agree, I would love to see more of you here - now, if only you could whip your human into shape!

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  7. Good luck CK. What's with the oomans. I haven't even given M her performance appraisal cuz it will be bad oto. We do love your blog tho and hope you can get TW to write more of it.

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  8. Oh man, you are one tough critic!

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

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  9. CK, doesn't TW give you lots of toona and noms? You should definitely be nice to her! No swats, no biteys!

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  10. Oh dear. So hard on Mom. I'll throw a couple extra paws in there to bring up the score.

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