Keisha wants a pet

The past few weeks, many of my furrends have been getting little brothers or sisters or both. I don't begrudge their families the joy of watching a new cutie grow up. I APPLAUD that these kitties have found furever homes. In fact, I've been asking my peeps for a pet since Mitzi got carted off in a straight jacket, er, pet carrier that is.

The peeps say this apartment is too small to have multiple cats cos we won't have room to run around. I say but when you moved in here, you had 2 cats: Nickie and Autumn! They argue that those were older cats and they didn't run around. They also didn't get along so they had to be kept in separate rooms. So you're somehow blaming me for this, I say. I'm being punished because they didn't get along. Then I give them the finger. You know which one.

They say the woman has since found out that she's allergic to cats. I say SOOO, and that affects me how? Besides the other doctor said the test might've been a false positive since she's been exposed to cats. The she says, that doesn't explain why my throat closes up sometimes. I counter, woman, your mouth and your throat should be closed AT ALL TIMES!

The next argument is that we only have one income now so we can't afford the extra cat food and V-E-T visits. I answer, woman, get off your lazy duff and GET A JOB!!

The peeps try for the knockout blow: you're a very jealous cat. If we brought another cat in and gave it attention, you'd either kill the cat or us. WHISTLE! LOW BLOW! Now my fur is standing up on my back and my ears are back! I get along very well with other cats! Catsui used to come in here all the time and we got on wonderfully. Whatever are you talking about?

Then they bring up the pretend cats. The woman likes them. She calls them "stuffed animals" but I know better. They're real but they refuse to play with me. They mock me and get me in trouble. Then they get picked up and cuddled. That is not right. Anyway, the peeps bring up that every time they pick up or go near the pretend cats, I attack them and they're afraid it will intensify if the cats are real. I'm beside myself now. I attack you? I do no such thing. Those pretend cats attack you, not me. I'm not a hater! You cannot prove it is I who attacks you.

Keisha w/pretend cats including my nemesis HHGut. As you can see, I interact very well with other cats.

So there you have it: their lies vs my facts. Please let the peeps know that their fabrications are weak and that I NEED a pet to play with and care for.

I've been framed!

Friday night the peeps got home from the game at around midnight. I had to beg them for my 8 pm feeding, which was over 4 hours late, might I add. Finally, we snuggle into bed around 1. Before I know it, all hell breaks loose and I need a lawyer once again.

Once the lights were out and the room pitch black, apparently the woman reached over to pet me and HHGut viciously attacked her. He tore some pretty big holes in her arm. I sprang up to her defense but once again took the blame. I was locked out of her room the rest of the night. She claimed she was "scared of me." I tried scraping on the door, but she wouldn't let me back in. Through the door, I could hear his fiendish laugher and the sound of him mocking me.

You can see the terror etched on my face as the pistol draws closer

When I finally did regain entry, I tried to sit on the window sill to watch the birds but—gasp—the woman hit me with a blunt object. I think I was pistol whipped!!! I'm trying to dig up the evidence but haven't located the gat. I may have post concussion syndrome! [Editor's note: She was "waved at" by a light-weight t-shirt to shoo her.] Woman, this is MY BLOG! I'm telling the truth here! My furrends don't want to read your lies.

Anyhow, if there are any kitteh lawyers out there, who would like to take my case, please leave your card in comments. I'll take this all the way to the Supurreme Court if I have to.

Blog the Change Day

Since we're blogging the change, let me take this opportunity to put in a shout out for my furrends, the COWS. I can neveer understand how some of my furrend's peeps can blog about saving dogs and cats and then go home to a meal of dead cow on a bun. If you truly care about the environment and animals, the single most important thing to do is GO VEGETARIAN. As the Earthsave Organization points out on their website, methane from animal agriculture is nearly as responsible for global warming—aka climate change—as all other non-CO2 greenhouse gases combined. Please check out their site, they can explain it a lot better than I can.

Meet my furrend, Daisy. How can anyone eat such a beautiful creature?

We can debate the price of health care all we want, but if people stopped eating meat, they would be healthier—and so would the Earth—and health care costs would go down for everyone. GoVeg.com explains how eating meat affects your health.

So, if you love Rover and Kittee, please also love Daisy and Piggita and replace that dead cow on a bun with a veggie burger. While you're at it, soy, rice and almond milk taste much better than cow's milk. My peeps love it in their cereal and as a good, tasty source of potassium. Thank you and have a nice day.

Wordless Wednesday: In Memory of George M Steinbrenner III

5 Questions

There's a new game in town, I mean in the blog world, named 5 questions. Pumpkinpuddy picked me to play. She made up 5 questions for me to answer. In turn, I have to think hard and come up with 5 more questions to pose to 5 completely unsuspecting pals. If you know me, you know they're gonna be doozies—whatever that means. Without further delay:

Do you get along with your sisfurs and/or brofurs? That's an easy one since I haven't got any siblings. I'm an only cat and I like it like that. I was adopted with another cat but she put the CAT in catatonic and had to be returned to the shelter. I DID chase her a couple of times, so I'd say, yeah, I'd get along with them if I had them.
What's best about the city where you live? I like the fact that we're so close to NYC. I can see the skyline from our window. On July 4th, the peeps go down to the courtyard where they watch the Macy's fireworks display in comfort.
What's your favorite color? Blue because I look exceptionally stunning against a blue background. It brings out my coloring.
Who's your favorite human that's not in your family and why? There are a lot who I admire but I'd probably have to say our President. He's the first Brother in the White House and is taking a lot of heat because of it. He'll stand tall at the end and will make a lasting positive impact. I also admire Derek Jeter because he's cute and knows how to play baseball the right way and Beyonce, who's almost as stunning as I am. I borrow clothes and makeup tips from her all the time.
What are your bestest games to play? I love playing smousy laser, especially in the bathtub. My other fave is running through my tunnel. I play several games with the woman involving what I refer to as my beloved Tunnel of Pain (and the woman knows why). Runner-ups would be chasing coated rubber bands and my peacock feathers.

I borrowed this outfit and bling from Beyonce!

Here are my 5 questions:

What's your favorite brand and flavor of cat food?
Which tv character, past or present, are you most like?
What is your peeps credit card number and expiration date? Whadda you mean, I can't ax that? OK, who's your favorite serial killer? WTH, I can't ax that either?? Seriously, how would you change the world? There must be something you don't like.
How do you work your claws? Scratching post, furniture, human flesh and bone or other
How did you start tweeting?
Bonus question for 100 points, how did I get to be so stunning?

I'll pose those questions to:

Hollie Ferguson-Rocks

Hope the questions don't put you cats to sleep. As you can see, the woman wouldn't let me ax anything of interest.