Keisha wants a pet

The past few weeks, many of my furrends have been getting little brothers or sisters or both. I don't begrudge their families the joy of watching a new cutie grow up. I APPLAUD that these kitties have found furever homes. In fact, I've been asking my peeps for a pet since Mitzi got carted off in a straight jacket, er, pet carrier that is.

The peeps say this apartment is too small to have multiple cats cos we won't have room to run around. I say but when you moved in here, you had 2 cats: Nickie and Autumn! They argue that those were older cats and they didn't run around. They also didn't get along so they had to be kept in separate rooms. So you're somehow blaming me for this, I say. I'm being punished because they didn't get along. Then I give them the finger. You know which one.

They say the woman has since found out that she's allergic to cats. I say SOOO, and that affects me how? Besides the other doctor said the test might've been a false positive since she's been exposed to cats. The she says, that doesn't explain why my throat closes up sometimes. I counter, woman, your mouth and your throat should be closed AT ALL TIMES!

The next argument is that we only have one income now so we can't afford the extra cat food and V-E-T visits. I answer, woman, get off your lazy duff and GET A JOB!!

The peeps try for the knockout blow: you're a very jealous cat. If we brought another cat in and gave it attention, you'd either kill the cat or us. WHISTLE! LOW BLOW! Now my fur is standing up on my back and my ears are back! I get along very well with other cats! Catsui used to come in here all the time and we got on wonderfully. Whatever are you talking about?

Then they bring up the pretend cats. The woman likes them. She calls them "stuffed animals" but I know better. They're real but they refuse to play with me. They mock me and get me in trouble. Then they get picked up and cuddled. That is not right. Anyway, the peeps bring up that every time they pick up or go near the pretend cats, I attack them and they're afraid it will intensify if the cats are real. I'm beside myself now. I attack you? I do no such thing. Those pretend cats attack you, not me. I'm not a hater! You cannot prove it is I who attacks you.

Keisha w/pretend cats including my nemesis HHGut. As you can see, I interact very well with other cats.

So there you have it: their lies vs my facts. Please let the peeps know that their fabrications are weak and that I NEED a pet to play with and care for.