Tale of the Turncoat

I was very sick last night and this morning and this could have been why. I'll recount my experience at the V-E-T some other day when I'm feeling better.

Do I look like a happy cat, woman?

You are not going to believe what The Woman did today. She left early to have lunch with her friend and then do some shopping. But I have connections. She cannot get away with anything without me finding out. Around 2:35, I get a call from my homeboy Jamal axing if TW is home. "No," I reply. He then tells me someone fitting her description is up the block FEEDING A STRAY CAT! My fur stood on end when I heard this. Apparently she bought some new cat food for me and this stray came up to her, mewing and rubbing, so she GAVE AWAY MY FOOD! My new food that I never got to taste. Just gave it away to some cat she'd never seen before! Like some hussy picking up a John. What I'd like to know is how that pussy knew TW had a can of cat food in her bag? Does she have x-ray vision? Was TW on the prowl for a cat to feed? Does Pop know TW is feeding strays on his dime?

She came home as proud as punch at her "good deed," and she then proceeded to rub it in my face by producing the hand that had been petting this other cat so I could smell my rival. I should have bitten it, but I was hungry for my own dinner and didn't want to anger her. As it was, she made me wait until 3:30 for my stinky goodness.

She said the "cat" was a "cute, sweet little domestic long hair"; a tortie with a nice floofy tail. What am I? Chopped liver? I'm the world's most stunning cat, woman! When you have the world's most stunning cat in your house, WHY YOU LOOKING AT ANOTHER CAT? If you were dating Derek Jeter, would you be looking at other guys?? Gasp! Can you feel some of the horror I was feeling at this point?

I digress. She even took pictures of the cat to rub in my face; but the best part is that they're on her phone and she doesn't know how to get them on the computer. She's sending them to her e-mail address! Is that rich or what! HAH! [Note from The Woman: And CK claims she could live with a brother or sister cat w/o getting jealous? Look at yourself, Baby Girl, you're beside yourself with jealousy.]

Woman, you erase that this instant! This is my blog! {**scuffle **blood **gore} I'm back. Sorry your sensitive eyes had to see that. I'm sorry that I don't take kindly to being cheated on by TW. Pop would NEVER do that to me. And, yes, I could live with a brother and sister as long as they're not that stray tortie with the floofy tail.