Monday, September 6, 2010

Little House of Horrors

It was a dark and stormy night! Actually, it was a beautiful summer morning, albeit a little chilly for August; but I always wanted to honor Snoopy by using that line. I found myself riding between the peeps in a cab, heading for trouble. Let me start at the beginning or begin at the start.

Some weeks back, I wrote a blog about the peeps being worried about my health. Last Thursday night, I went off my dry kibble. I just decided I didn't want it. Sometimes a girl has to play hard to get—right? I refused to even step into the kitchen. TW decided she didn't like how fidgety I was in bed or the sounds I was making. I never thought I'd see it in my lifetime, but TW got up at 6 a.m. and told Pop we needed to go for a ride. We needed him to spend a lot of his $$ in a short amount of time.

Calls were made and my carrier appeared out of nowhere. I sniffed around and remembered what happened last time I climbed into there. I shivered at the thought.
Do I look terrified? Do I look pathetic enough?
I didn't fall for the old food at the case trick; but Pop threw my favorite toy in and I followed. He slammed the door. I struggled mightily as he lifted and case and they went out the door. I howled like a banshee in the cab. All too soon, we were there.

The house of horror
Once inside the dreaded place, Pop placed me on the scale—I weigh 9 lbs.—which turned out to be the only thing that wasn't torture. What followed is pretty much a blur. They stuck a cold, sharp object up my butt; poked and probed every inch of my body and then said they had to take further tests. Yo, what do you mean, further tests? My temperature was normal and I didn't have an upper-respiratory infection so they wanted to make sure I didn't have something more sinister. Pop told them money was no object when it came to me and because he didn't want to be giving me antibiotics if I didn't need them. Remember, this was the place that misdiagnosed Autumn's cancer as a "gum infection." Needless to say, after 2 weeks of antibiotics, Autumn's cancer was not cured.

Dr. Evil
Doctor Evil, pictured at right, then took my blood, 2 full-body x-rays, gave me an injection of penicillin and subcutaneous fluids. Then came the final insult—GASP—they cut my claws! The final outcome—she still didn't know what exactly was wrong with me—was that I was dehydrated and had some inflammation in my intestines. I had a lot of intestinal gas—toot toot—probably from that starvation diet the peeps have me on or maybe from the Mexican food that HHGutt cooks for me. I'm only sorry this blog doesn't have odor-vision or scratch and sniff features. After looking at the x-rays, I now have conclusive evidence that I'm as stunning on the inside as I am on the outside.

By Wednesday, my health still didn't please TW and she asked Pop to spend even more $$ and take me for another cab trip. If they thought it was hard getting me into the carrier Friday, it was a piece of cake compared to the fight I put up Wed. I admit defeat. They incarcerated me and we went off.

More humiliation and more torture soon followed. More shots, more fluids, more probing was done by Dr. Evil, with ever the sinister smile on her face. The last straw was the microchip. I never go out—why do I need a microchip?? I get it, pick on the little ghetto cat.
Amount of $$ V-E-T robbed from my Pop

I'm home now and the good news is that I can have as much wet food as I can cram into my face and that after the shot, I don't need daily antibiotics. The bad news is that I suddenly prefer DRY kibble. I'm no longer dehydrated; just a little weak from all the peeps have put me through. I haven't started playing again either. Next time I stop eating, Dr. Evil has threatened to do an abdominal MRI. I figure I owe the peeps big time. Bites will be given out as soon as I feel better. Actually, the revenge began last night when I lunged at TW while she sat on the bed. Without claws, I tried to inpale my teeth in her back. My revenge WILL be sweet.

9 comments:

  1. Poor CK. They got with with the Alien Butt Probe! I hope you get to feeling better after everything you've been through. I purr for you my furriend that you feel better very soon. *purr purr purr purr purr purr purr purr purr purr*

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  2. CK - just remember dat revenge iz a dish best served cold (watever dat means)! xoxo BJC

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  3. Once again you has me & M laughing even tho we is both worried bout you. I wonder how long the vets would put up with us poking & prodding dem. (Boy, would I love to get a chance to do those things to dem!!) I do hope it's nothing serious & dat you feel better soon. Sorry your pops has to pay off the National Debt. You may have to join me in looking for a full-time job!!

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  4. U've really been through it. I'm glad ur feeling a little bit better at least. Are u trying to compete with me? Ur jealous of my panic attack aren't u? Well, if u need info on how to pull that off, just let me know. That works REALLY well & adds an extra digit to the vet bills.MOL
    I have to say, the picture of u in the carrier is stupdendous! Made me laugh so hard. That picture should get some type of award.
    xoxo

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  5. Gurl, let me know when you get your revenge! No fair them picking on a ghetto cat!

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  6. Oh, so sorry about your ordeal, CK. Can you believe it, mommy says she's more worried about why you are not yourself and she's all for another v-e-t visit if you continue like that? Humans! Comforting purrrrrrrrrrrrrrs to you. Oh, and Healing purrrrrrrrrrrrrrs as well.

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  7. OMC! that sounds like a horrendous experience. Your eyes are big a cream saucers! Hey Dr Evil is purrty, how can that be evil & purrty?
    It sounds like that was an awful expensive case of gas. Maybe next time they should just leave you in the bathroom for a while, MOL
    Hope you are feeling better now.

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  8. Oh, poor Cathy! I also hate vets, I really do. You should have put the bitey on her. The Other One loves Snoopy, too. But I think your opening line is perfect: "I found myself riding between the peeps in a cab, heading for trouble." I hope you feel better soon. Lots of purrrrssss for you.

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