Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Show of Shows

We had some excitement here recently. Pop bought TW a new DVD/VCR combination because her VCR player had died over a year ago and she still has a lot of VHS tapes that she hasn't converted including my Video Catnip, I might add. The peeps have an ancient TV, which weighs about a ton and a half and Pop hasn't even attempted to move it since his hernia and back surgeries. Before then, Pop, being the big, strong and heroic man is he, used to move it with ease all by himself. With one pinkie finger, even! Because I keep it real on this blog and don't want to be giving out any false information, I looked it up; our television weighs 238 lbs! That's 108 kg, for those on the metric system. That's not counting the weight of the stand, cable box and DVD recorder, so do the math. I did supervise. I'm not allowed behind the TV or in the stand, so I did some exploring and the peeps were too preoccupied to stop me.
Trying to get attention while the ballgame is on
The peeps together pulled and tugged and finally got the TV out to where Pop could get to work hooking everything up. You say it should be simple: take the cords out, label everything and stick them back into the new DVD player. I say HAH! For some reason, it was originally hooked up NOT to record off the TV so Pop decided to remedy that. He pulled every last cord out from the TV, cable box and DVD machine. Every! Last! One! Of course, they didn't take my advice and simply order TiVO. Did I mention that he didn't unplug anything from the wall outlet?

After a few minutes (although it seemed like hours), he told TW to turn on the TV. Nothing but a black screen. Several minutes later, they tried again and there was a gorgeous picture. Mission accomplished? Not so fast. The TV worked on its own, but not through the cable box. After a few more tries, I'll relay to you their conversation. I'm cleaning up the language for young ears.

TW: Maybe we should call Cablevision and they can walk you through this.

Pop: I know what I'm doing. It should work now.

TV now shows white noise and static. 20 minutes passes.

TW: Should I call the front desk? I'm sure one of the maintenance guys should know how to hook this up. They leave in a half hour.

Pop: Can it, woman (OK, those are my words but he was annoyed). I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!! I'm just trying some different hookups. Turn it back on.

More white noise; more static.

TW: Just hook the TV and cable box. I'll use the DVD to dub and not to tape off the TV. We can take CK's idea and get TiVO. (OK, my words again.)

Pop: $#%##$%%^!

TW: There's sound but no picture. Let me go back there.

CK: Yo! It's past someone's feeding time and it's very important that the sick cat gets fed ON TIME! GET ON IT, WOMAN!

Pop [moving out of way]: What did you do? We have a picture!

Now don't get the idea that TW actually did anything back there. All she did was jiggle one of the cords in an effort to remove it. Then, by the grace of GOD, there was a picture AND sound. It was all Pop's hookups that worked. He just rammed them in too hard.
STILL trying to get attention and looking increasingly ANNOYED!
Finally, just like magic, the DVD also worked. We have liftoff! When it came time to move the TV again, the woman used her legs. She pushed with her right leg and moved 250 lbs, with ease. Pop hardly had to push at all. Note to self: don't let TW get mad enough to kick you or you're in big trouble!

Finally after all the excitement, the stunning little sick cat got her food, which is really the most important part. I mean, what do I care about whether the TV works. Of course, there is a Video Catnip on VHS that I haven't been able to watch in over a year. Woman, where's my video?

BREAKING NEWS: THE WORLD'S MOST STUNNING CAT HAS JUST BEEN GIVEN THE PRESTIGIOUS VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD BY MARIODACAT! HEAR KEISHA'S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH ON THIS SAME CHANNEL WITHIN THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

13 comments:

  1. Hands down, another hilarious story from the stunning one, herself! You know they'll never get TiVo, right? Old folks don't go in for new-fangled technology, hahahaha!!!!

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  2. SO funny! Sounds just like my folks when they try to work together. I get back behind the entertainment center and cruise around and mess up all the connections, then I get yelled at, then go back and do it again. It's my job. Concats on your award, you're the bestest!

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  3. You peen peeking thru our windows? I couls swear you were writing about this house. I'm so happy you didn't repeat the oomans' real words cuz I hear enough of the @$#%^& language around here. Now, no more watching our house and tend to your own! he he --- I am happy you
    FINALLY got fed tho.

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  4. My mom has lots of grey furs on her head, so she must be old and we have TiVo. But mom likes tech stuff. Anyway, glad they finally got it working. It must have been funny to watch them until they got it right.

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  5. You are one observant and hilarious kitty! I love how you told us this story! Hope you got to watch your video!!
    xoxoxo

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  6. We luv ya! Thx for all your support while we been down and glad things are improving.

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  7. Dearest CK... You make me smile! Please give TW a break... she got the TV working didn't she? Loved the blog about the kitty up the street. Has it moved in yet? xo BUZZY

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  8. CK, you are an amazing kitty. And you should keep at your peeps to get that catnip video up and running.

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  9. I enjoyed that little escapade! Been there, done that, only with the holy men. You wouldn't think there'd be swearing in the rectory, but throw a couple of roman collars together with a little frustration and things catch fire!
    I'm interested in the video catnip or is it catnip video? Hehehe!

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  10. jeez. why does they never just listen to the KITTEH?!

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