Thursday, June 27, 2013

Stupid Human Trick #1086

Since the peeps haven't been providing me with many new Stupid Human Tricks, I'll have to report on this one that happened many moons ago. I teased Mariodacat by tweeting about this the night it happened at Nipclub. I told him he'd have to wait until I wrote it up for the blog. Little did I know it wouldn't be blogged about for over a year.

Welcome to the Laundry "Room."

Saturday and Sunday are usually wash days at the condo but TW had to do a wash during the week. She wanted to wash a jacket or something that didn't fit in any of the weekend loads. Unfortunately, it wasn't big enough to wash by itself. She looked around for something she could throw in the machine with it. Then I started to smell the wood burning. OMC, I thought, TW has an idea!!! How novel!

She walked straight into the bathroom and came out with the 2 old area rugs that had been on the floor for centuries. "I've washed these already and so did Lucy" (the hired help who came in after TW broke her ankle a few years ago), she reasoned; so she threw them into the machine and went about her merry way.

The machine beeped and she pulled the jacket out. Flakes fell to the floor. TW had that funny look where you can see the question marks around her head. Then she pulled the rugs out. To her utter horror and dismay, the rubber backing on them had disintegrated! It biodegraded, I should say. Tears started forming in her eyes. "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!" she shouted. Rubber flakes were falling all over the laundry room rug and on the floor outside the room.

I came scampering over to investigate and see if I could add fuel to the proverbial fire. She almost took my head off: GET AWAY FROM HERE! THIS IS A DISASTER AREA. WAAAHHHHHHH! I burst out laughing Bwaaaahaaahaaaa! This was very amusing to me but obviously not to her.

She stuffed what was left of the soaking wet rugs into a plastic bag and ran out to the Refuse Room. The floor was covered with flaked rubber and so was the inside of the machine. That's what TW was worried about. She was sure she had broken the machine. I'm telling Pop! He's gonna beat you this time for sure, I taunted. The more she cried, the more I taunted like any cat would do.

TW: Waahhhhh! I just want to diiiiiieeeee. Good Lord how can you do this to me.

CK: Is Pop on speed dial? I want him to hear this.

TW: Please take me now! Why do you let me live?? Why do you torture me!?

CK: It might be my dinner time, you know.


What the hell happened here, Woman?
In a valiant attempt to shut me up—or was it to clean the mess up—she got out the vacuum. I'm not really scared of the VC but thought it was time to view the carnage from afar. For the next three—or was it four?—hours, TW had her head stuck in the laundry closet. First she vacuumed the floor. Then she vacuumed inside the washing machine. Then, as a coup de grace, she started picking out the little pieces of rubber by hand. All this was accompanied by whining, crying and moaning. God was evil cos He didn't take her that exact moment. The names she called herself. Just when I thought she was through, she called my Homey's human for advice on what to do‚ not that she was actually going to follow it. I think she just wanted someone to feel sorry for her cos I wasn't gonna do it.

CK: Erm, Woman. Look at the clock. It's past my dinner time.

TW: $#*$&#((@)*$*@*

CK: Can I repeat that on my blog?

Cut to Saturday aka laundry day.

CK: This is gonna be good. You never told Pop what happened and you wouldn't let me. You even replaced the rugs so he wouldn't notice they were missing. I can't wait to see him beat you if that machine is broken. That's not gonna be the only thing broken 'round here. 

Alas, the machine worked fine and the clothes didn't even come out covered in rubber flakes. Oh well. This kitteh will have to wait for another Stupid Human Trick to see a beat-down.

Has your human ever done anything as stupid as this?

28 comments:

Patty Woodland said...

CK - you should be thankful she didn't use you to clean out the inside of the washer.

Kjelle Bus said...


I almost feel sorry for TW *mol*
I have NO idea if my human have done anything as stupid as this ?
But I bet she have , after all she is just a human *mol*
XOXO

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

Oh, CK, that is NOTHING! You should see what happens anytime my human does ANYTHING domestic that is outside of the three things she knows how to do (wash clothes in cold water, do dishes in extra hot water and clean the litter box). It always results in tears and accusations. And she does that all by herself.

Mr Puddy said...

Ha..Ha..Ha..This kind of novel used to happened to my mom once " something that didn't fit in any of the weekend loads ! " MOL
but my mom end up with non-stop F words " F ! F ! F!!!!! " MOL

Thanks for stop by for my blogoversary : )
xoxo

Molly The Wally said...

LOL that was a lucky escape from a beat-down. We can just imagine all the HBO words and the desperate attempt to clean up. We have never had that happen but we have had tissues left in the washing machine. Have a tremendous Thursday.
Best wishes Molly

Sometimes, Cats Herd You said...

OMC, the drama and suspense. She doesn't know that you were going to tell all. Our head peep says she stopped using washable rugs with backing for that reason. Sadly, our washing machine is in the garage, so we didn't get to see the entertainment you did when she learned the lesson, so we're glad you shared.

The Furries of Whisppy said...

And TW's very lucky the VC didn't clog up and die. MOL.
You should hear the (*#*&#@! when Mommy opens the wash only to discover little pieces of tissue paper stuck on ALL the clothes. Hahahaha!

Mariodacat said...

ha ha - Now that's a good one CK, and I do remember when you told me a tad of what happened. The best M does is to leave Kleenex tissues in her pockets and of course white, thin pieces of paper end up on everything she washed. Then she grumbles and says words that make the air blue. She seems to be too dumb to remember to take the paper out before she tries to wash the clothes.

Layla Morgan Wilde ( Cat Wisdom 101) said...

Wow, you dodged a bullet with that adventure!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

cathy keisha....sew we willna menshun de time de food service purrson deesided de boogie matz kneaded a washin just coz we hurled on one.... and all three went inta de masheen ....N all three be filled ta de maxx with cat oh nip... N all three dinna haz de side zipper closed.... tho onlee God noes why N.... all three came outta de mashen kleen aza wee babeez butt.... but they bee missin de qualittee nip from de innerdz.....that washin masheen wuz buzzard up on nip for for EVER :)

pleez ta give R best ta fred, pebbles N dino oh kay :)

Ann Staub said...

Lol yes! Just the other day I washed a diaper... those things have that gel in them that expands when wet... they were all over the clothes... thankfully nothing was ruined. We're in the process of trying to fix our dryer... it was brand new at Christmas but stopped workin' last week :(

The Musings Of A Crazy Cat Lady said...

Don't our peoples know we've always got to contribute to any and all situations? Mama decided to put (stuff) our new comforter she got for a steal at $39.95 that was worth $375 in the wash, and the washing machine ate some small holes in it. We laughed, too. It's going to the cleaners from now on.

Brian said...

Oh my goodness CK! But, it sure could have been a whole lot worse!

Anonymous said...

around here it is always the joke of the "tissue" left in a pocket...what a hoot! Looks like it's snowing!! And the words out of Mom's mouth...covers ears with paws...aiieeeee!!!

Katie and Glogirly said...

Nothing quite like the confetti storm from a washed up bathroom rug! Now if only you could have gotten the whole incident on video.
; )

meowmeowmans said...

Holy Cat, CK. It's a wonder TW doesn't break everything in the house, isn't it?

Sweet Purrfections said...

We can't help it - we're laughing so hard we need to run to the litter box.

CATachresis said...

I'm with you CK, but The Staff has just had an urgent call of nature …. AND she seems to be crying!!

The Island Cats said...

CK, our mom did this same exact thing! Haha!!!

Kitties Blue said...

Our mommy doesn't buy those #$@!8&^% rugs anymore. They always disintegrate and make a humongous mess everywhere. Sorry TW got so upset. Mom just hopes her jacket wasn't ruined. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

michico*Adan said...

Our bean almost the same!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

My Human had one them kinda rugs. But hers disintegrated at the laundromat. So she just put one a them "out of order" stickies they so helpfully provide on it and walked away. Sometimes, having to go to the laundromat is a *good* thing, LOL.

Anonymous said...

Tee hee, you are one mischievous cat, wanting to tell on her like that. I just had to break the news to my parents, who had bought my dogs favourite coat, that I put it in the washing machine and it shrunk to the size of a mini dog. Your mom is not the only one

Julia Williams said...

Having those rubber backed rugs disintegrate in the washer is quite common, so IDK if that qualifies as a Stupid Human Trick or not. But your telling of the tale was hilarious!

Maxwell, Faraday and Allie said...

Oh CK, your TW isn't the only human to have done that. Sadly, yes, ours did too. Rubber EVERYWHERE!

GizmoGeodog said...

OMC CK...If it makes you feel any better about it all, my Momz did the same thing with the rugs...little runner snowflakes all over her clothes ... I laughed my furs off

Fisher and Staff said...

Suffice it to say I am mostly banned from the kitchen, not allowed to cook or iron the man's clothes, and everytime I try to vacuum, the vacuum cleaner needs to be fixed. I just do not do domestic affairs. After all these years it is just accepted knowledge around here. (Last time I lived alone, I used the oven for an extra filing cabinet.)

Katie Isabella said...

Oh CK. MY mom said she has done SOME kinda stuffs!