Feral Friday

TW thinks I'm bipolar. I don't know why that is cos anyone can see I'm not a bear. I'm a cat, Woman! She also says I run hot and cold. Again, I'm not a faucet and I'm not water so how can that be? I'm a cat, Woman. See my claws?? Better still, feel my claws??

She's trying to teach me to play without using my claws and teeth. Good luck with that, Woman. I can see you need to feel my claws otherwise you think I'm running water. I see some nice, juicy flesh and start to salivate. Can you blame me? I've tried not scratching her when we play but it just isn't fun. Now I've got a "Time Out" and she's crying all over the place. She wants to know, with all the cuddly cats in shelters, why they had to adopt a feral one, without any love in my soul. Just lucky, I guess. Suck it up, Woman. Really, those are pretty strong allegations. No love in my soul? I am hurt and I can see by that scratch that you are too.

The reason for her falsehoods and innuendos is that I'll go a couple of weeks being nice and sweet and then, out of nowhere, I attack for the kill.

I'm watching you, HHGutt! I know you're up to something!

Case in point: I was finally allowed back in the bedroom last week and have been sleeping peacefully on the pillow next to her head. She says it's been killing her allergies but why should I care. I'm on a nice comfy pillow on top of a nice comfy pillowtop mattress. If she didn't want me to sleep here, she should've gotten a mattress hard as a slab of concrete like Pop did.

Last night, I jumped on the bed and instead of curling into a ball, I stared at her. That's all I did was stare. Is there something in the Constitution that staring is illegal. She got all bent out of shape and moved herself into the other room. I soon followed and the be-atch took that opportunity to go back in her room and lock the door! Let me state that at no time last night was she attacked in any way, shape or form!

Look at this innocent face!

Her claim is when I stare, I'm just waiting to attack her. The first move she makes or bare skin I see and I'll be on her. That is just not fair and would never stand up in a court of law, except maybe in Florida. Intent is NOT a crime, Woman! I've explained that its HHGutt that hurts her at night and not me but she's not buying. I have the most innocent face so I don't unnerstand what her problem is. I suspect it's that she doesn't like me. What's a sweet little cat do do?

Wednesday Word of the Day—Paint

This little ghetto kitteh has a new hobby. Painting. TW has finally given my iPawd back and I loaded the Cat Paint app. Although I'm not about the cut off my ear or anything, I think I'm quite good. I'm just now experimenting with different colors and palettes. When I get better, I'm gonna take my spray paint and start to beautify the city. I've chosen to name my pieces after the famous fish painter, Jackson Pollock. He was one tasty talented artist.

As I paint my masterpiece. The artist at work.

Baked Pollock

 I'm also gonna make political statements with my art, as you can see by this last piece. We are all Trayvon Martin.

Poached Pollock aka The Senseless Murder of Trayvon Martin.

My art will soon be coming to a subway car or a vacant building in your hood. At a later date, I'll also be auctioning some pieces off for charity.

I didn't do it and I don't know who did!

Mancat Monday—Petie

George the Duck made this beautiful graphic of Angel Petie

I was going to do a different Mancat Monday today but instead I'll dedicate this blog to a dear, sweet Twitter furrend, who went to the Rainbow Bridge last night at 11:45. Petie (@Petiethecat on Twitter) was a true gentleman. For the past couple of years, he's had to deal with many health issues, but he never complained. He fought the good battle and always thought of his Mama and Daddy. I truly believe his love and desire to stay with them kept him going. He is survived by his Mama and Daddy and his wife Pandafur. She's quite broken up so I hope you visit and offer her comfort.

I love you Petie! Thank you for being a good Twitter furrend and for the prizes you always donated to the Pawpawties. I wouldn't have my beloved FURminator if not for your generosity. Every time I see the vibrant reds and oranges of a rainbow, I'll think of you.

I'm a Celebrity, certainly NOT a Trainwreck!!

My innerview to hype The Real Housecats for the Hudson Reporter went pretty well, I think. Of course, The Woman tried to screw it up by not mentioning most of the lovable characteristics that make me stand out, not only on Twitter but as a Real Housecat of the Blogosphere. She didn't even mention my stunningness until the very end! Can you believe that? I came out of my office and put in an appearance before she left and had to endure a photo session. This was a real, live photo session with a real huge camera. I've never seen anything that looked like that. I preened, of course. I posed. But mostly I looked confused that she came just to see me.

Get my good, side, Lady. OK, I don't have a bad side.

Today, we got our Real Housecats' swag. The t-shirts are pawsome! Imagine! Me, on a t-shirt! Of course, I'm just one of —I believe I counted 12—twelve celebrity cats on the shirts. Pop loved the Get Real design the best, so he ordered that one. They're mailing the buttons separately. I got buttons so I can give them out to promote the show.

Of course, now that I'm a starlet, I have to play the part; i.e. Pawty Hearty! I've taken to hanging out in bars in Jersey City with Snooki and JWoww. (Sorry, no pictures, please!) Some have seen me in conpromising positions and think I have a problem with Silvervine, as well as nip, but I don't. I've got it all under patrol. Those videos—http://youtu.be/Aqg8S0KY0-o and http://youtu.be/aQ09nx_EMrA—were both taken out of context. I certainly wasn't as stoned as I appear to be. And, yeah, I did crash my vintage Mustang but that doesn't mean I have a problem.  Nope, success hasn't gone to my head. I haven't changed one bit. Well, I'd like to stay and chat but I promised to meet the girls in JC at 4 and it's 4.25 now, so I'd better be off. Vrrrrroooooooommmmm!

Wednesday Word of the Day—Hostage

DO I look happy? Lemme go Pop so I can widdle on the USPS!

The Post Office is F***ed up! Yes, they're holding my Silvervine from Bin hostage. Pop bought me a P*Low and some Vine out of the goodness of his heart and they're holding it hostage. I was gonna do a nice little post today about how my innerview with the Hudson Reporter went yesterday but these idiots forced my paw.

TW's been to the Post Office twice this week and they refuse to give it to her. Why? Because it has Pop's name on it. Can you imagine, kitties, if MY name was on it? Would they need to see MY ID? Today she went back after Pop had signed the back authorizing them to give it to her. Nope, she didn't bring the correct ID. She bought 5 pieces of Pop's ID and they wouldn't accept any of them. Does he have a passport? No! Driver's License? No. They want his state-issued ID. What's he going to do if he actually NEEDS that ID. He's in NYC all day and if, God forbid, something happened like when he broke his elbow, they wouldn't treat him at the hospital without ID.

When TW was passing our mailboxes on the way home, she saw the postman and axed him how she could pry my Silvervine out of their grubby paws. He told her to sign the back and he'd have the regular postman deliver it tomorrow or Friday. After he'd left and TW checked our box, sure enough, there was another slip for the package. She isn't very sharp or she'd have ran after him. Instead she came upstairs with a wet face. By the time, she thought of running after him, he was long gone. Now, he has the slip with our signature; we have another slip; and we don't know what's going to happen to our package. Will someone see the signature and think we'd gotten the package??

The peeps are beside themselves. Pop doesn't want to spend his only day off at the Post Office. He doesn't want to go before work and risk losing his job if he gets in late. No wonder the Post Office is going out of business. Not only wouldn't they give TW the package WE PAID FOR, but they were rude to her as well. When she said, you're holding the package hostage, they said "isn't that a pretty strong word?" Yes, it is but it's exactly what they're doing. We paid for that package and they have no right NOT to give it to us.

This is a good reason why we need an American distributor like Nip and Bones to sell the Silvervine P*Lows and powder. This is no knock against Bin, but I need my presents to be dropped off at the concierge so we can pick them up. I get packages addressed to me all the time without problems. Dealing with the USPS is for the birds.

Addendum: IT'S HERE!!!!! The Postman kept his word and put it in our mailbox today! I'm going WILD! Video to follow soon! SCREEEE!