Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Murder Mystery

Shhhhh! I'm going to be very quiet about the post since I don't want to get the peeps in trouble. OK, I would, but if their butts were hauled off to jail, I'd have to go back to the shelter jail myself and that wouldn't be pretty. I've become quite used to the good life.

Whoa! Fraser? You in here?
I told you about our new pet tree, Fraser, already. Well, his ass must've gotten tired of drinking water and he must've said something to wear out his welcome. Friday night, tons of boxes came out of the closets and Saturday morning, they began undressing Fraser. I ran around in a panic, jumping from one box to the next, not knowing what was happening. Then Uncle Vince and Aunt Marta came back. I don't know what evil happened next but when I came back into the living room, they were stuffing Fraser into a big 9-foot BODY BAG! Gasp!

Fraser! Old buddy! What have they done to you! Gasp again! There were tree needles everywhere. He must have put up quite a fight; but seeing as it was four against one, he didn't have a chance.

The humans were laughing and having a good old time while they dragged the lifeless body out into the hall. They started to clean up the evidence. There were needles and water everywhere. TW kept nervously axing if they should leave the body out in the hall for so long. What if someone sees it and reports them? Then they told me I should be happy because my cat tree was back in the spot of honor by the window.

My cat tree is back where it belongs
Happy? I'd just witnessed—OK, not witnessed since my back was turned—; heard—OK, that's a bad word too since Fraser didn't scream or anything—I just knew something bad had happened to Fraser. He was out in the hall in a body bag and my cat tree was back where I wanted it. Hmmm, OK I was happy.

Once the evidence inside the apartment was gone, the humans went out to dispose of the body. They must've dumped him some place far away because they didn't return for five hours or more. My tummy was on E (empty) but I wasn't going to ax questions. The less I knew, the better. I could smell alcohol on TW's breath and they kept talking about food and some rug. I guess they went to celebrate the demise of Fraser. I was on pins and needles—pardon the pun—since TW got home about 20 minutes before I had to dj for @Spookyshorty's Spookypawty.

These events have me axing myself some serious questions: if'n they "offed" Fraser for not drinking the dreaded H2O, was I far behind? Peeps haven't seen my drink since August. After I needed fluids back in September, they even bought me some cheap, loud fountain but I refuse to use it because they didn't get it at NipandBones.com. They should know not to get me anything unless Baby Patches has tested it first.

So, I ax my furrends, do you think there's a little kitty body bag in my future too? Right now, I'm just keeping my mouth shut about certain things. Fraser, who? Remember, you didn't hear this from me.

9 comments:

  1. I don't think you have to worry. Fraser was just there on a temporary basis and I know that TW and Pops love you, even if you're mean to them. How do you like your cat tree? Mom wants to get me one, but dad says I wouldn't use it. I beg to differ cos I love to jump up on EVERYTHING!

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  2. I don't think you have to worry, but maybe you should start drinking out of the fountain to be sure??

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  3. Shhhhhhhh, Fraser was actually on a secret mission and tricked your Mom and Dad into letting him escape. Don't tell anyone else!

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  4. OMC! Our pet tree "disappeared" over the weekend too. I didn't ask any questions. Until I read your blog I hadn't given it much thought to be honest but now...*shudder*

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  5. I think you don't have to worry, especially since your cat tree is back where Fraser lived. Now, if your cat tree is hauled away....

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  6. While I think this proves that your humans are capable of committing any act whatsoever, I also believe you are safe. As long as you keep your mouth shut. Maybe you should delete this blog post.

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  7. OMC! Dey didn't gets you a 360 fountain from us my furriend? I luvs our drinking fountain so much dat I now drinks from from da stream of water!

    I is shocked about Fraser, I hopes dis doesn't indicate anything for you my furriend. So scary I knows, don't worry I is here for you if you needs me. Purrrrrrrrrrrrrs

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  8. Gasp! I'd be very careful for a few days sweetie so you don't meet the same fate as Frasier! Scary!

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  9. That's terrible about Fraser, but I think you're safe. I think if the humans wanted to get rid of you, you're cat tree would have disappeared with Fraser.

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