Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Hump Day History 101

Since my article in the Reporter has over 1400 hits, some of you may be wondering what the heck this sleepy little town is famous for besides me, of course. I'm gonna fill you in about a historical fight that took place a million years ago in my adopted home town.

This is the Hamilton Monument. Now I'm confused.
Did he win or lose?
In 1804 Aaron Burr offed Scott Hamilton. Woman, can't you see I'm lecturing? What do you mean Scott Hamilton is an ice skater? Alexander who? Who the hell remembers losers' names? Does anyone remember who lost the last Presidential election? Or who lost the World Series last year? How about the Super Bowl just months ago? Or what that other NY baseball team calls itself? No, we're all about WINNERS, baby.

Back to my lesson. I lost my original train of thought so I'll just hop on board another one. Seems the brother Hamilton must have called Burr's wife a ho or something or maybe it was that East vs West Coast gangsta thing. Now what? They weren't rappers? Oh, please just go away! … Where you going, Woman? I'm not through with this blog post!

HAH! I was right! Hamilton dissed Burr publicly and Burr took umbrage and offed him in a duel that took place not far from La Casa Keisha. Hamilton was fatally shot and Burr was charged with murder. Since he was part of the 1%, Burr never spent a day behind bars. It was discovered that the bro—that would be Hamilton, woman. Aren't you listening??—never fired a single shot, even though Burr claimed his life was in danger. Pictures from that day show the hoodie-wearing Hamilton posed no threat to Burr. The bro wasn't black? Were you there, Woman? Anybody knows a white guy ain't gonna shoot another white guy! Those who don't know history, Woman, are doomed to repeat it. Hope my audience is following me better than TW.

This is the plaque, saying roughly the same thing I said.
The answer is that TW wasn't there! Although she tried, she couldn't get tickets cos it sold out quicker than a Springsteen concert. I told you she was older than dirt and there's your proof. Even though this event took place over 200 years ago, she stood in line at TicketMaster (there were no computers back then), only to be turned away. She probably watched it on TV, unless the Yankees were playing at the same time.

And that, Kittehs, is the way it was.

(Pee Ess: If you click on the top pic, you'll see more pictures of the monument. If you click on the bottom pic, you can find out more about the duel.)

18 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha! My Human says she wishes YOU was her 'Merkan Hisstery teecher because you would have made that class a *lot* more fun!!

    P.S. I gave you an award today! Come over and see.

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  2. MOL. CK, you are so darn funny. That was such a good history lesson. Well done CK. Hope you have a great day.

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  3. Thank you for the history lesson CK. I thought it was going to be about, well, er, something about actually humping. Even though I don't even know what that means!

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  4. Classic CK.
    See? That's why I love you.
    I was following along just fine.
    Laughing my you-know-what off.
    ; ) Katie

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  5. ...if YOU had been the girl's history teacher back in the day, maybe she would have actually learned something.
    ; )

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  6. You are quite some historian, CK. Well done, and you put TW in her place.

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  7. WOW CK, that was a good lesson!!!

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  8. Professor CK, great lesson! We think it went down the way you said!

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  9. Wow, that's awesome that you live where a duel happened! For all I know, we do too, but if we do, it was nameless cowboys and not fancy 1% politicians.

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  10. CK, they need to rewrite the history books, because we like YOUR version much better than the one that's floating around...

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  11. DUDE. CK, they totally need to hire you at Scholastic. Or wherever they print all those textbook thingys.

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  12. Professor CK - you should teach history in school cuz you are way more interesting than the paid teachers.

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  13. Thank you for the great history leasson about your hometown Weehawken !
    I maneged to follow along just fine too . I just ignored TW ;-)

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  14. CK you should study real history llike before Weewossit and the dool. there's real old stuff over here ... well there's me (Thank you Austin!) You'd rock with the Brit kids. You might even eddikate dem like!!!

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  15. Prof. CK my mommy's son could use you in his 9th grade classes he teaches. Wanna go?

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  16. Hey Keisha, Jet here.

    Nice to meet a feline with sass and a history background! Mom wants me to share that she was a history major way back in the day, so, she got a big kick out of your post.

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  17. Haha! CK....you are a winner in our book! And an excellent historian!

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  18. Wowwie! That is a exciting piece of history!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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