Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Instant Replay

Can you believe, it's been almost a week since we've posted and all TW can come up with is a RERUN???? She is claiming she has Writer's Block! Can you believe this?? The baseball season is only a week old and she's completely shirked all her responsibilities to the kitteh. No blogging, no tweeting and, most importantly, NO PLAY TIME! I'm going on strike! Moreover, the Peeps haven't done anything amusing in, well, forever! They haven't had dropsy and there's been no major spillage. I think they're doing in on purpose. This leave me no choice but to rerun an oldie that few cats viewed and even fewer commented on. It's from January 3, 2010 and it was originally titled Bless Bess, What A Mess. Since we just had the Easter ham, uneventfully, I thought I'd muse about the good old days. Sorry I don't have any film footage of the actual event. I hope you enjoy it.
                                                                  ♧ ♣ ♧ ♣ ♧ ♣ ♧
Nom nom nom …
Our kitchen floor is the cleanest kitchen floor on the planet. The Woman doesn't use any poisons on it; she uses either dish soap and water, Method all-surface cleaner or the Bissell steamer I gave her for her birthday. We have the cleanest kitchen floor. Have I mentioned that? It's so clean, you could eat off it; and it should be because I do eat off it. Well, I have a dish and placemat but do prefer putting the food on the floor. I won't tell you about the inside of the fridge since TW's been tweeting for me but you probably know and I don't have to eat off it so I couldn't care less. It's all good as long as it doesn't inconvenience the cat.

On Thanksgiving, we had the turkey incidents. Yeah, that would be plural. First, Pop sprayed the raw turkey juice all over the place and out came the steamer to sanitize the floor. Then the Ajax came out to sanitize the counter. After the turkey was cut, the discovery was made that someone—I'm not naming names cos I like my Pop—cut through the aluminum pan and, again, the counter and floor were full of turkey blood. The Ajax and steamer came to the rescue. Everything was cleaned and sanitized. Everyone should have one of those steamers. The Peeps haven't eaten red meat since 1980 and TW says they may stop eating turkey too.

For New Year's Day and Easter, they make Virginia Ham—name sounds like a nice Irish girl. Again, it's the only time we eat ham. I really, really like it although the gravy is really, really sticky. They even give me my own plate to eat my portion of ham! We were going to have the leftovers today. Sounds like a plan, right? Nothing goes as planned in my house.

Yesterday Pop went to the Pathmark and while TW was putting away the goods, she moved the ham gravy to make room. Oopsy, wrong move. I don't think she meant to move it onto the floor but it wound up on the floor. All over the floor to be precise. I would've gotten a good laugh except it was my feeding time and I certainly couldn't go step in that sticky mess. Also, my package from SidtheCatahoula containing the first Pawpawty prizes I've ever won had come and I couldn't wait to open it up. Woman, clean this mess up—NOW!

Sticky gravy and chunks of pineapple were splattered as far as the eye could see. It was under the refrigerator and oozing onto the nice wood floor in the foyer. TW let out a shriek like I didn't know she was capable of and rolls of paper and cloth towels were pressed into service. Then, TW got a Pathmark bag to put the sopping wet paper towels in and pour the little remaining gravy in. Not THAT bag, Woman!! She didn't listen and she took a bag with a hole in it and that gravy dripped back on the floor only in yet a different spot. TW spent the next 20 minutes or so down on her knees scrubbing that floor for a second time. Her nice slippers were totalled too. (Can you tell, I'm stifling a laugh?) But the cat was thinking food and prize.

Clean that mess up or Elsie and I ain't coming down from this refrigerator!
Finally, by the grace of Cod, I made my way over the pass-along or whatever they call it and Pop gave me my skipjack tuna. Tonight I ate my food off the cleanest kitchen floor on the planet. News Flash: the cat did not get blamed for the mess. As for the peeps, TW made another mess—OK wrong word, dish—of gravy with orange juice, pineapple, pineapple juice, brown sugar, ground and whole cloves and they ate the ham and lived happily ever after.

14 comments:

Fusa said...

Oh my! Poor TW having to clean all all those messes! It does sound funny but please don't let her know I'm laughing. My mom always says we should have a doggie so our floors would be clean all the time! MOL!

Katnip Lounge said...

Our Mommy has a steamer AND a clumsy hubby...maybe they are related?

Mariodacat said...

ha ha - your peep is even a little worse than M. Well, M drops everything she touches too, except she works extra hard At not dropping meat & drippings all over.. But one year they tipped the pan with ham juice all over the carpeting. Whew - the air really turned blue in the kitchen that day (if you know what I mean!) How did I ever miss this when you posted it the first time.

Marg said...

That is hysterical CK. I know we shouldn't be laughing at TW, but it sounds so much like something our Mom would do.She is always dropping something or spilling something and she says very norty words, that bad girl. Loved this post.

Carolyn said...

I'm a firm believer that the cleaner the floor the more it attracts spillage and dirt. Best leave well alone ;)

Brian said...

Oh we are quite used to spills around here too!!!

Sparkle said...

My human tosses things in the microwave for her meals - we have SO little excitement around here...

FURKIDSMOM said...

Wow you sure have a lot of floor cleaning going on at your house!!

The Florida Furkids

Prancer Pie said...

HaHaMeow! Our Mommy needs one of those steamy things. She's very messy!

The Island Cats said...

Oh CK, that's so funny...well, maybe TW didn't think it was funny, but we sure did!!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

We gots no steamer and we gots a not-so-clean kitchen floor. Fortunately, I am fed on my shiny green tray in the Dining Room where so far no gravies or tuukey bluds has spilled, ha ha meow! This was a great story (we missed it the first time since we didn't even start blogging till April of 2010!)

Noir the Texas Tabby said...

Spills? We have a steamer, yet it is an ornament in a back room. Spills around here are 'art deco'... :)

Noir

Katie and Glogirly said...

Ok, even I'M laughing at this one and it takes ALOT to make this kitty laugh. Stupid human tricks are the BEST. I sure hope this hasn't impacted the turkey and ham futures in your house.
; ) Katie

Rykers Boyz n Allie said...

Allie: Oh Cathy! Same thing over here! Mother's been in something called TRAINING, which she *claims* leaves her without any time in the evenings to Tend To Moi. I mean, REEEEALLY. *huff*

Humans can be so...so...difficult at times, don't you think?