Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Great Birch Beer Caper

There is nothing better than having a laugh at the woman's expense. She makes writing these blogs so much easier. I always have a new topic to write about. This is our latest adventure.

The Great Birch Beer Caper

Pop went out to do the grocery shopping and the woman was doing the laundry. Earlier in the day, she'd gotten some huge rocks that lit up—more about them some other day—and was looking for pot holders to put under them. Into the linen closet she went, with me following closely behind. If there's an open door, I want to investigate. Due to the size of our apartment, the linen closet doubles as a pantry. Are you with me here?

The woman pulled out the first pot holder and, viola, down went the six-pack of Birch beer. Crash! Bang! Fizz! POP! Split! This was worse than the oil spill off the Louisiana coast! This was worse than the earthquake in Haiti! Send in the Marines! The split was my sides from laughter.

OMC! The floor and rug were covered in red Birch beer. Woman! Do something! She did. She started crying and then she started sopping it up with kitchen towels from the linen closet. After she sopped up the tears, she started on the floor and rug. By now everything was sticky, including her pants and slippers, which she kicked off. Birch beer, for those young 'uns out there is like root beer, only red in color. It's about 50% sugar, which is why it was in the closet and not the refrigerator.

I had to investigate further but every time I took a step, I stuck to the floor. The sweet smell was overwhelming. The puddle was spreading and one of the cans was hissing. The woman was screaming at me to get away. And I should do as you say why? woman.

The woman's next move was to go into the kitchen to get the Murphy's soap to clean the floor. Unfortunately, when she reached for the soap—OMC, I don't know if I can type this, I'm laughing so hard—the Ajax fell out and opened. It's the only toxic not-plant-based cleanser in the house and it was all over the kitchen floor. The woman was standing beside herself, she was so upset. Cue the tears! Cue the dramatics! Cue the "why me, Lord. what have I ever done" cries. Oh, those hormones were unleashed and I was running for my life.

After much ado, the two spills were cleaned and I was free to roam around again. Whew. Another disaster dealt with. Another blog post written and documented.


Michelle said...

Hahaha!!! HHGut pushed the Ajax onto the floor!

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Pandafur said...

MOL CK that musta been so much funs for you!

Mariodacat said...

LOL M and I have sore sides from all the laughing. I know it's bad to laugh at your mama's bad day, but it's just so funny. Should have had a video camera going - it would be a hit movie. Another great post Cathy - you sure do have a non-boring house!

the teacher's pets said...

Hello Stunning Cat,
I am your newest follower and it's partially because I found you via the Blog Hop and the other reason is because you are one funny blogger! Your writing is fantastic and I feel as I am right there with you during your adventures!
I am a professional pet sitter and I have had plenty of mishaps like the one you had with the Birch Beer and I often wonder what the cats and dogs think of me during these embarrassing moments!
Come on over and visit my blog sometime! We'd love to have you meet us!

ButterBean said...

Thanks for stopping by! Sounds like you had a mess of a weekend

Baby Patches said...

OMC! Momma would has been da same way and I would has been all up in dat mess MOL hehehe