Alleys vs Toms: A long, hot summer

Many of my furrends have been axing me about my cryptic Facebook posts regarding the Alleys and Toms. Ok, nobody has actually axed but many are curious, after all, we are cats. Ok, 2 furrends seemed interested when I mentioned it.

Years ago, I lived out in the streets of CommuniPAW Avenue. This was before I was captured and put in jail until the peeps bailed me out. It was a rough 'hood, full of the usual gang violence and warfare. Picture West Side Story done with a rap/hip hop soundtrack. It was kill or be killed. Female felines were expected to represent the gang that our boyfriends belonged to. In my case, that was the Alleys. Tuna, my BF, is an Alley leader. He works with Jamal, Lamont, Georgie, etc. to clear the streets of Toms. He was ruthless and he still is. I'm proud that he's in my posse. Even prouder that he's my mancat.

Tuna has been working with the Arson Squad for years—the best in the business. You want someone burned out, he's your cat if the money is right. You always know his jobs because they go to 3 or 4 alarms. He makes a good living.

Jamal in the "big house"

Tuna will light your fire

Don't mess w/Henry

It had been a quiet winter when the sky lit up orange 2 weeks ago. The Toms torched an Alley hideout in JC. Then another one went up 2 days later in UC. Word went out that PeeWee was dead in one of the infernos. I can't relay specifics but Henry, bless his soul, has been picking them off back on the 'Paw. Two nights ago, Tuna did his best work in a long time. Made national headlines. Those smokey Toms were running in all directions for their worthless lives. The Alleys will win this war. Expect a long, hot summer in the hood.

HAPPY EASTER FURRENDS! XOXO

Cathy Keisha goes Hollywood

The woman has ruined my opportunity for stardom. She's crushed my dreams! I know I'm already a virtual star on Twitter, an award-winning blogger and a highly sought after virtual dj, but she's ruined my chance for real fame. As they say, "I coulda been someone."

This morning, as she made her way down the street from her shopping trip, she saw flashing lights and lots of people standing around. Concerned that something bad had happened, she asked Rick, the concierge of our building who was standing outside watching, what was going on. He told her they were filming Mercy, a tv show on NBC about doctors and nurses.

Naturally, when she told me, I couldn't WAIT to get outside and be part of the action. I'm so stunning, I know if I could just get my paw inside the door, I'd be the next big Hollywood starlet. Everyone would want a piece of Cathy Keisha.

My name in lights!

I can see it now. My name in lights. The papawrazzi elbowing each other as my famous new Twitter furrend Morris the Cat and I walk the red carpet together. Jetting to L.A. to be on the Tonight Show. Jetting back to N.Y. for my movie premiere. Jetting to Miami to record with Beyonce and JayZ. Jetting to Paris to walk the cat walk with a bunch of anoretic girls all jealous of my figure and stunning looks. Finally getting the recognition I deserve. The headlines: "The Truth About Cathy Keisha & Tiger Woods" and "Cathy Keisha: Buzz Lucas—My One and Only Love." My own i-phone. Hell, my own i-phone app! Meeting all the biggest stars, even the President! It was going to be like a dream if only I could get out of the house.

The magazine covers

Ma said she had never heard of the show and I was an indoor cat. I begged--and believe me, cats aren't used to begging. I pleaded. I cried but she would not let me out of the apartment. Sigh. What's a cat to do. Then she put the [censored] ball game on. A meaningless Spring Training game trumped Keisha's dream of greatness! Hmmmmph!

I'm not going to be the only one upset tonight when Pop learns that Michelle Trachtenberg, who played Dawn on "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" is on that show and she didn't get him an autograph or even a photo. All because the woman is jealous of my youth and my virtual celebrity. "Of course, I'll give you a paw print!"

Picture Contest: It's in the Bag!

I was tagged by two wonderful furrends to participate in the Photo Game. Both my fellow anipal dj Yoda_The_Dog and the ultra-cool sista Shelly, aka grrlysquirrel, think I'm so stunning, they want to see more pictures of me. This is a cool idea. Here are the rules of this "game":

Open your first photo folder

Scroll down to the 10th photo

Post the 10th photo and tell the story about it

Tag 5 other blogs

Without further do-do, er, ado, here's Keisha in the 10th photo.

As a cat, I love climbing into bags. As a woman, the woman loves shopping and bringing bags into the house. Her office just happened to be across the street from Macy's flagship store in Herald Square and she couldn't have been happier. Lunch hours were spent in that store. This particular time, she brought home new towels.

New towels were great for two reasons; the second being the best one. It meant my old rescue group, CAP, would get the old towels. Now Ma never just bought ONE set of new towels, she always bought more than one since she could never make the big decision over which color she liked better. More good news for CAP.

The 3rd part of this story is the warning to always cut the handles off any bags you bring into the house when you have cats. The peeps usually left the handles on cos they used the bags to recycle old newspapers and magazines. Nicky and Autumn left the bags alone so there were no problems. Enter Keisha! I got my head caught in one of those bags and went tearing through the house in a panic. Pop panicked too. For one time—and one time only—Ma kept a level head. Luckily, I was small and I worked the handles down to my mid-section. The woman called me over calmly and cut the handles so I could make my escape.

I guess if you've already received the award, you can post the 20th picture in your folder, or try another folder! I can't wait to see your photos and read the stories behind them.

Wordless Washday Wednesday