Be it Ever So Humble…

…There's no place like Rome but since I'm not in Rome, I axed my mirror to give me the straight dope on Humble, which is today's Photo Hunt theme. As everybuddy knows, Humble is practically my middle name. Here's what my mirror replied.

Why I'm NOT at Barkworld

Yo! Whachoo doin' furrends? CK in da house.

Bet you're wondering why a stunning cat with a popular blog like mine isn't at BarkWorld. Here's the skinny. George the Duck has been crashing here since Blogpaws with the promise that we'd send him to BarkWorld this weekend. Wednesday night, Prudence's Mom came to pick him up cos she had his plane ticket and TW isn't going. TW and Pru's Mom got to talking—blah blah yakety yak—and TW forgot all about ME. Plush ME was all packed and ready to go see my furrends in Hotlanta! Whoa! How could TW forget all about Plush ME?! She's owes me big-time for this omission. Blood will be shed.

George and I waiting to go to BarkWorld.

If you see George at BarkWorld, tell him to bring me back something and to have a stiff drink for me.  It's so hard to find good help these days. Should TW be fired for this infraction? Sigh!

PS: I don't know who started this rumor but TW DID NOT GO TO BARKWORLD! She's sitting right here and, thus, cannot bring any treats back for me!!

Wednesday Word—Claws

Yo! Whachoo doin' furrends? CK in da house.

My famous furrend Sparkle has coined the phrase Smacky Paws of Doom. That works for the majority of cats but not for me. Behold my Smacky Claws of Destruction.

Yes, our claws are weapons of mass destruction. Some of us, like my half brofur who came before me, use them to destroy their cat trees. Some use them to cause destruction to carpet, sofas, floors, you name it. Here's what I use my Smacky Claws of Destruction for.

Looka! I see a drop of blood ready to spill! SCORE!

I barely grazed TW's hand with my Smacky Claws of Destruction and managed to draw blood though not as much as I would have liked.  Yes, she's still fooling around with that Super Mackerel setting so you can see every dried out pore in her ancient hand. I have super sharp claws cos no one has the onions to trim them. The peeps wouldn't try and the last 2 vet techs wouldn't touch them. Nobody wants to mess with purrfection.

No furniture was scratched during this photo shoot but I can't say the same about TW.

I must give kudos to Nicky, one of the cats that came before me. He did some good work. I understand he totally ruined a couple of chairs and a carpet in the old house. Here is the cat tree he was working on. Can you believe how small and pitiful that cat tree is? Poor cat—that was the only furniture he had too!

What do you use your Smacky Claws of Destruction for? Do you let your peeps trim them?

Supersize Me!

Yo! Whachoo doin' furrends? CK in da house.

Imagine how thrilled I was when my furrend Simba's human took my advice and used the Mackerel setting on her camera to photograph a butterfly in the yard. By now, you know I'm all about helping my furrends. I gotta tell you though, TW is outta control!!!! When she told me she was getting the Super Mackerel, I thought I'd be eating fresh fish for the next week! I didn't know it was yet another fancy setting on the flashy box. Now she's using the Super Mackerel setting and getting much too close and personal with me. In fact, she's been getting so close, I've been forced to bite her to make her back off.  Look at those fotos! Who really wants to see closeups of my nose or my eyes? She says they may come in handy some time in the future. Listen Woman, if you keep this up you may not have a future with this blog. I may hire someone competent to take your place!

The key is you don't want to use flash if you're gonna get this close and personal. Pity there's no closeup of my teeth. HAH! Maybe I could double-dare TW.

I think she's getting rather nosy, don't you?

The eyes have it and I've about had it with TW!

Put all that stunningness together and you get: one very annoyed kitteh.

Do the Swanky Panky

Today's Photo Hunt theme is swanky. This past February, I attended the Nipclub Monthly pawty in Monte Carlo, which was certainly trés swanky. I played the field and the slots and had success with both. This foto was taken during a break in the action. To quote two of the songs I played that night, I had my poker face on cos this was my lucky day.

I had to go out of town for the Photo hunt cos let me tell you, there's nothing in our condo that's close to fitting the definition of swanky. Maybe if I had a litter box that looks like this, it would qualify. I wrote about these Glitterboxes last March hoping I could convince Pop to buy me one. After he stopped laughing, I learned that my lucky streak was about to end. Would your human buy you a swanky little box like this?

That's real gold in case you're wondering.