Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 New Year's Revolutions Are Dust in the Wind

Borrowed from The Laughter Ward's FB page
As you may have guessed, I don't make New Year's revolutions for myself because, well, because I'm purrfect and you don't want to mess with purrfection. Last year, I made revolutions for the peeps, axing for wholesale changes. Let's see how they did, shall we?

My Pop has always been very klutzy and was banging his noggin and getting concussions at an alarming rate, so I thought that he should absolve to reduce the number of head trauma incurred in 2011. I'm happy to report after an extremely bad concussion in May, he promised his doctor he'd be more careful. Two days later, he fell and broke his elbow. On one hand, he didn't get any more concussions; on the other hand, the broken elbow was even worse so I'd have to say, he didn't keep that revolution.

I also thought that Pop should invest in a pillow-top mattress. Although he didn't get one in 2011, he promises that he'll get one in 2012. I'm gonna hold him to that. I hope he remembers the part about stuffing it with green papers although he'll probably say the well is dry after making the mattress purchase.

Another year has come and gone and TW is still a train wreck. She took my advice to stay home but forgot the part about getting paid to stay home by a real employer. Her bank account is on E, with no prospects in sight. I've tried to ease her load by winning lots of kibble so she'll only have to provide stinky goodness so Cod only knows how much longer she can provide for this little kitteh. I REFUSE TO EAT STORE BRAND! I'M A CELEBRITY!

Have toys, will play. Won't somebody play with me??
She keeps getting wider and wider as she shovels mountains of food into her big mouth. I suggested she give me half her chicken every night. Not only hasn't she done this but she CUT DOWN on my table scraps. I have to beg by Pop to get a crumb. The bending she gets from playing with me hasn't shrunk her waistline and she's still bouncing off the furniture because SHE DOESN'T PLAY WITH ME NEARLY ENOUGH! Pant, gasp! Lemme catch my breathe. This is so aggravating.

Oh, the litter box revolution—fahettaboudit, sez she. Not only doesn't she clean it right after I use it, but sometimes she only cleans it ONCE A DAY! This is UNACCEPTABLE! I haven't told Pop about this and he may flip his cork upon reading this. What's so funny, Woman? Are you typing this just as I'm dictating it? If I find one little error or omission, I'm gonna [censored]

TW meet my teeth.
The revolution about them not going out to any ballgames will become a reality in 2012. The peeps are not renewing their season tickets due to TW's laziness and lack of funds. They will instead stay home and play with the cat for free. I may need some additional toys for this and my new cat tree may play a role in this. I'm thinking of calling it CK's Cat Gym and Teeth Workout Center. You can guess who my teeth will get a workout on. HAH!

The last revolution I made was for the peeps to start cooking roast of beef and steak. This didn't happen. They made baked chicken, rotisserie chicken, chicken cacciatore, chicken chicken chicken. It's not that I don't like chicken‚ I do—but how about a little variety. Would the occasional steak kill them? A little red meat would be good for TW's cholesterol. It certainly would do wonders for my thirst for red blood. I might not even go for her's so much.

In my next post, I'll list some of my New Year's Revolutions for the peeps to follow in 2012. If they don't follow them, they'll have another crappy year like 2011.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
Hope your humans do a better job keeping their revolutions.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Year -End Rear End Review

The Woman has let me write the annual Holiday letter the past 2 years, as if she had a choice (heh heh). Here is this year's edition, with the peeps' names removed for their personal safety.
Click on image to biggify/enlarge.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ALL THE BEST IN 2012!
PAWTEEEEEE ON!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wednesday Word of the Day—Family

Just 3 of the adorable sweeties available at
Brookes Legacy.
Yesterday was a busy day for the peeps and a mostly boring one for your's truly. Well, except for the pawty I threw while the peeps were out but I can't mention that because TW is typing this.. The peeps went to visit family up North Jersey. Every year, TW gets to meet someone she's never met before. This year it was cousin Karen and her family. Karen is really cool. She works for Ark Natural Pet Products (I'll be reviewing some of their products next year) and volunteers at the Brookes Legacy Animal Rescue in Naples, FL. Karen was telling the peeps that they rescue animals from kill shelters and sometimes have an easier job adopting out the less-adoptable cats and dogs, who may be blind or missing one eye. Their secret is they give those pets really cute names and humans can't seem to resist them. She handles adoptions so she makes sure they go to good homes. Since they don't have a place to house their rescues, they rely on fosters. If you live in Florida and can foster, get in touch with them. Karen sometimes fosters 20 cats at once! They placed about 400 pets in 2011.

Cousin Makena
The peeps abandoned me from 8:30 am until almost 9 pm but TW didn't forget to get a kitty bag for me. She brought home some left-over American hero sandwiches from the gathering. They don't eat red meat, so they removed the roast of beef and gave it to ME!!! It was the best new taste in this little kitteh's mouth all year! They brought lots of tissue paper home and what cat doesn't like to play with tissue paper! I also got a gift from my cousins BB, Isabel and Makena—a "cat in a bag," which you can see me playing with in the video. I have some really pawsome kitty cousins.


They told me that all entire crowd of about 18 was chanting my name at one point!!! Imagine that!!! OK, instead of yelling "cheese" during their group photo shoot, they were yelling "Cathy Keisha." WHOA! I wish I could include a shot of the motley crew but TW didn't bring her camera. I can always count on her to mess up my blog.

Everyone knows about the peeps' stunning cat so they get cat-related gifts. This year, they got a calendar from Brookes Legacy, a cat tea pot and TW's Aunt Ruth and cousin Kevin gave them the butter dish (at right), which matched the serving plate they got last year.

Pop likes the get-togethers because all the women bake tons of cookies and Pop eats tons of cookies. It all works out for him.

Since CK DID got 2 meals out of the roast beef, it worked out for me too.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

A Stunning Christmas in Pictures

Our tacky front door decorations

On Christmas eve, the peeps went out to look at the pretty
lights than I DJed for GoergetheDuck's Catmaseve pawty.

Christmas morn found me curled up and looking stunning
 on TW's NY Yankee snuggie with one of my new nip toys.

After the presents were opened, I did my usual romp thru the
mounds of wrapping paper.

This is my loot! Whoa! But that's not all of it!

I'm occupying Pop's new jacket, which is now my new bed and
 dreaming of my new cat tree (below) which will be
assembled after the Christmas tree leaves. See ya, Niles.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Have a Stunning Christmas

This has been a most joyous and merry Christmas season. I've already received many gifts. I'd like to thank my Secret Santa, Jeego and Pia of @seattlep for the pawsome peacock feather, Greenies, and nip pillow toy. I love them! What a great Secret Santa! I'd also like to thank The Santa Paws Drive for the 15-lb Science Diet New Ideal Balance kibble that I won. I can't wait to try it—right after I start on the Royal Canin, that TW got with her free coupon from Blogpaws. This reminds me—if u were one of the lucky winners of the RC Discovery Box, be sure to look for the free coupon they were nice enough to enclose. Don't throw it out because that food ain't cheap. I'd also like to thank the Greenies' people for sending me some Greenies for Christmas. The peeps are really gonna start calling me "Monique" if I eat all these goodies. Of course, I won't mention the 15-lbs of Christmas cookies they bought ... or will I?

Now that Niles has been decorated, the house is decorated, the cards have been sent out, and the cat's presents have been bought (but not set up), I wanted to share my Christmas cards with all my furrends. I was gonna wait till everyone received the cards but Cat Chat Caren kinda let the, ahem, CAT out of the bag. I sent a lot of cards out but couldn't send to everyone. TW only bought me a limited number of collectible Stunning Keisha stamps that was not nearly enough. Some of you received the first card and some the second, but included with each and every card was a little piece of myself. I wanted my furrends to smell my scent and Pop suggested that I give a souvenir. I expect to see them up on e-bay soon, fetching at least 3 figures.  Also thanks to everyone who sent me a card. They were pawsome. They weren't boring like those my peeps received, although cousin Melinda's card was great because it featured her 3 cats, BB, Makena and Isabel. Feel free to download and share the cards below.


It sez "Ho! Ho! Ho! You must have been really good for Santa
to bring you Cathy Keisha

Whatever you celebrate, I wish you the best.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

HAPPY HANUKKAH/CHANUKAH!

HAPPY KWANZAA!

HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE!

NEW NEW YEAR!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Evenybody Loves a Winner!

First some news and then the winners of the Royal Canin giveaway. We've been real busy with seasonal stuff. Would you believe Pop's new TV has been sitting here for a week and we still haven't had time to set it up? At least Niles is all dressed and lit up and my cards are almost all written. Oh yeah, our other excitement was that we got a new modem and just like that, my WiFi is gone. I'll have to wait until Uncle Vince visits again next month. For at least 24 hours, we had no phone service because the peeps didn't think it was necessary to plug the phone jack into the modem. OK, TW said she couldn't get it to click in and it fell out when Pop monkeyed with it.

WINNERS! WE'VE GOT WINNERS! WINNERS!
On to the winners! Can I have some Fanfare? TADADA DADAAAAA!
@LILYLUWHOT
BORIS KITTY
@CRAZYFUSA
MARG
SIMBA
KATNIP LOUNGE
SEBASTIAN
HOTMBC
PUMPKINPUDDY
PRANCER PIE
are my 10 winners. I have a bunch of your snail mail addresses already but need them from the rest of you. You can e-mail me at stunningkeisha AT hotmail DOT com or DM me on Twitter @CathyKeisha and I'll send them off to Royal Canin. Concats one and all! Can't wait to see if you guys like the Protein also.

I'll leave you with some pictures of Niles, fully dressed. His star is a bit crooked but a few cotton balls fixed that.
The yellow Santa to the upper left of the 9-11 heart is a hunnert years old.
TW saw one in NC years ago for $79!

I am a good girl who would never climb Niles or bust one
of his balls. Note how I'm doing the paw curl.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

3 Beans & A Tree

Meet Violet Tiffany. I didn't.
Easy like Sunday, my A—er, my paw. Yesterday Aunt Marta and Uncle Vince came over with their little "burrito," a little human smaller than me. I used to play smousey laser with Uncle Vince and Aunt Marta, but after my ordeal at the v-e-t, I don't trust any human other than my peeps. I ran like hell when they came in the door and hid under the bed. They stayed for days before they finally all headed out to buy a tree. A CHRISTMAS tree, not a holiday tree! Before I knew it, I heard them coming in. Three of them and a tree. After the guests left and I came out from UTB they innerduced this tree as “Fraser." Uh-huh—yeah, sure he is! What kind of sap (get it?) do they take this little ghetto cat for? Fraser was about a hunnert feet tall and this imposter is barely Pop's height. They told me Fraser came back to visit for the next month or so. Cut the crap, peeps, I'm not buying. Anyway, this tree better put decorations or at least put some lights on cos he's looking like he thinks this is a forest. I may have to warn this nekkid imposter of what happened to Fraser so he can run for all he's worth, which I unnerstand is MUCHO DINERO. Apparently, instead of Fraser paying room and board, the peeps had to pay him to come here. Wonder what dirt he has on them. Whoa! I wonder if this is why the "real" Fraser was offed. After offering water to this Fraser wannabe who I'll call Niles, they headed out again. Can I confide in you that the cat was fed LATE? After I finally was fed, Uncle Vince came up AGAIN and ruined my supper. He had to help Pop bury the television that Pop killed last week. I'm beginning to think these humans are more dangerous than I am. SHUDDER.
The real Fraser (left), the impostor (right)
Peeps want me to thank Uncle Vince and Aunt Marta for their friendship and all their help. They're angels. CK wants to thank Uncle Vince for getting our WiFi up and running so I can play with my Friskies fishy game on MY IPad. It's a lot of fun. Maybe TW will take a video of me using my IPad, now that it's up and running. Gotta go catch some fish.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Wednesday Word of the Day—THURSDAY

Yeah, its Thursday and TW finally is gonna work on my WEDNESDAY blog. What's that woman? No, you don't have to clean the bathrooms. Let them lick themselves clean! You've made my furrends wait long enough! Sheesh! She's still super dizzy from the double ear inflections and the antibiotics are making her rumbly in the tumbly.

Please disregard the mess
and focus on the stuning cat.
The Wednesday World of the Day was supposed to be OVERKILL! If you look at the photo, you'll know why. Every inch of the living room is covered with decorations that have been collecting over the past 50 years. There's no surfaces left for me to climb on or walk on, except my cat furniture and they better open the new one up quickly. I'm a patient cat, but I'm losing my patience  quickly. In fact, yesterday morn, I bit Pop's leg so hard, it gave him a cramp. Don't be messin' wid the cat! Did I mention, I'll be holding a rummage sale after the holidays to get rid of all this mess? HAH!

Where's a cat supposed to jump anyways?
Click on the picture to biggify it, if you dare.
Next week's word will probably be TREE. Sunday, the peeps are going Christmas tree shopping with Aunt Marta, Uncle Vince and their brand new baby. Who knows if maybe Frasier won't come back, although I was sure that he'd met a dastardly fate in January. More to come next week.

Have a great weekend. OK, woman, clean those bathrooms if they haven't taken care of themselves. Dunno who's lazier, you or those bathrooms. Uh, when was the last time my litter box was cleaned??

BTW, you still have a few more days to get your name entered for some Royal Canin noms. Don't make me have to eat them all myself.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Newsday Tuesday—All the Mews That's Fit to Print

In this week's headlines, shortly after 11 the other night, we heard GUNSHOTS that sounded like they were coming from the street behind La Casa Keisha. There were anywhere between 5 and 8 shots. Pop thought they were firecrackeres but TW and I knew instantly what they were. I used to hear them all the time on the PAW back in the hood. TW had a friend in "Alphabet City" in NYC, who she used to stay overnight with. Gunshots are the norm in that part of town but we NEVER hear them around here. She told me to stay away from the windows as if I didn't know Anyway, Pop turned on his police scanner and the cops were combing our hood so Pop knew they weren't firecrackers. C'mon, doesn't EVERYBODY keep a police scanner in their house? It has nothing to do with my background.

If I get a new tree, I hope it's WAAAYYY  taller than this one
BREAKING NEWS!!! We had a huge box delivered today that weighs a ton or more. The box says Majestic Cat Products! I wonder what Pop bought me! I hope it's a new tree that reaches the ceiling. I've almost worn all the sisal off my old one which is only about 40 inches tall. TW needs to get video of me climbing up that tree. I wonder if we'll donate this one to A Call 4 Paws or if Pop will let me keep BOTH of them! They could get rid of some of THEIR furniture and they will fit nicely. Don't you think that's the humane thing to do?

I've been very good the past 3 days and have been eating all my grain-free stinky goodness. I'd been off it a couple of days and TW was worried that I'd get dehydrated or something. Secretly, I think she was more worried that the money she'd spent on this food, which is not cheap, was flying out the window. Right now, I seem to like the chicken best. Usually, I only eat the tuna and salmon. I like to keep her on her toes.

I'm sorry if we haven't been commenting on my furrends' blogs daily. TW either has an ear/sinus infection, pinched nerve in her neck or her vertigo came back big time. When she sits at the computer any length of time, she get incredibly dizzy in the head. Just turning her head makes her dizzy She's even talking about visiting Dr. Quack, her know-nothing doctor. Unfortunately, her insurance doesn't cover any tests so his guess is as good as hers. MOL! I think she just needs to be bitten by a professional like myself.

There's a 24-hour Santa Paws Drive pawty this weekend. Lots of cool prizes. I'll be djing Caturday night. Don't forget to donate a few green papers using the widget on the sidebar. They're also selling $1 raffle tickets to win some pawsome goodies like a year's supply of Greenies, a cat scratcher lounge and even a Bissell turbo prize pack. Read about the wonderful shelters who's pets will have a Merry Christmas with your help and mine.

Last bit of news is there is still time to enter my Royal Canin giveaway. Any comment received before December 14th will be entered to win one of 10 RC Discovery boxes filled with their Selective formulas. You know you want them! This food is CK tested and approved!
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