Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Let's Celebrate!

Caturday, January 29, marks my 5th—count 'em FIVE—Gotcha Day. (Hmm, isn't this the gold and diamonds anniversary?) Cue the band! Hang the banners! Bring in the cake! We're gonna celebrate! Pawty like it's 1999!
One of my 1st furever home pics. Notice my eyes were amber when I was young.
Join me on Thursday for my big Shindig, graciously hosted by @TheNascarKitty and @TinyPearlCat and presented by #NipClub Productions. Before we continue, I ax you—if you haven't already—to read my Gotcha story that I posted last year. There are 3 parts but if you're pressed for time, you might want to skip over to Part 3 when the real action started. Part 1 talks about the cats that gave their lives so I could have a furever home. Part 2 continues the peeps' search which led them to the purfect cat—ME. Now back to the Bash of the Year.

Come celebrate with me and all of my closest furrends at the #NipClub on January 27th. We will be having a Punk Rock Pawty so grow out that mohawk and get into your safety-pinned jeans and worn pleather motorcycle jackets. Be ready to pogo, slam dance and see if you can get me in the mosh pit before I get you. Body surfing is a must. I'm sure all the great #NipClub djs will be playing cool music, like the Ramones, Sex Pistols and Black Flag. This is not for the faint at heart! Bring plenty of nip and your drug of choice. (Hmmm, bet Facebook is gonna flag this one too.) And, there's going to be a special performance by the SHIBBERING CHEETOS! *scream *faint RSVP or join us on the fly. Who knows, a pick-up game of soft ball may break out! My thanks to the #NipClub and their staff for their time and love.

Pretty Girl is looking for a furever home
I'm axing all my furrends not to bring a gift, but to donate to A Call 4 Paws. There's a Chip-in on the right-hand column of this site and one on the #NipClub site. It's a wonderful rescue organization, run by a Jersey City school-teacher and her son. They're trying to alleviate the shelter and stray population by spaying and neutering these dogs and cats and finding homes for them. Please visit their web site and if there's anyone out there who can help them build a better site, please contact me or Linda directly. Now that I've brought them into the big-time, they should have a site that looks professional. You can visit the pets they currently have up for adoption at PetFinders. Gee, Pretty Girl is a cutie, isn't she? All their animals are fostered and not brought to shelters. We gotta help those cats in da hood who haven't been as fortunate as I have. JERSEY CITY! HOLLA!

In additon, Linda also runs a 4-acre cat sanctuary in Pennsylvania, where there are homes for the cats who are too feral to be adopted out. Their object is to bring these animals back to good health, socialize them, and then find furever homes for them. Last year, they raised enough money through Karaoke nights, Tricky Trays and Jazz fund-raisers to provide the cats at the sanctuary with indoor heating. Believe me, these cats are treated royally.

If all this hasn't convinced you to pawty with me, I'll have no choice but to put the bitey on you.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Murder Mystery

Shhhhh! I'm going to be very quiet about the post since I don't want to get the peeps in trouble. OK, I would, but if their butts were hauled off to jail, I'd have to go back to the shelter jail myself and that wouldn't be pretty. I've become quite used to the good life.

Whoa! Fraser? You in here?
I told you about our new pet tree, Fraser, already. Well, his ass must've gotten tired of drinking water and he must've said something to wear out his welcome. Friday night, tons of boxes came out of the closets and Saturday morning, they began undressing Fraser. I ran around in a panic, jumping from one box to the next, not knowing what was happening. Then Uncle Vince and Aunt Marta came back. I don't know what evil happened next but when I came back into the living room, they were stuffing Fraser into a big 9-foot BODY BAG! Gasp!

Fraser! Old buddy! What have they done to you! Gasp again! There were tree needles everywhere. He must have put up quite a fight; but seeing as it was four against one, he didn't have a chance.

The humans were laughing and having a good old time while they dragged the lifeless body out into the hall. They started to clean up the evidence. There were needles and water everywhere. TW kept nervously axing if they should leave the body out in the hall for so long. What if someone sees it and reports them? Then they told me I should be happy because my cat tree was back in the spot of honor by the window.

My cat tree is back where it belongs
Happy? I'd just witnessed—OK, not witnessed since my back was turned—; heard—OK, that's a bad word too since Fraser didn't scream or anything—I just knew something bad had happened to Fraser. He was out in the hall in a body bag and my cat tree was back where I wanted it. Hmmm, OK I was happy.

Once the evidence inside the apartment was gone, the humans went out to dispose of the body. They must've dumped him some place far away because they didn't return for five hours or more. My tummy was on E (empty) but I wasn't going to ax questions. The less I knew, the better. I could smell alcohol on TW's breath and they kept talking about food and some rug. I guess they went to celebrate the demise of Fraser. I was on pins and needles—pardon the pun—since TW got home about 20 minutes before I had to dj for @Spookyshorty's Spookypawty.

These events have me axing myself some serious questions: if'n they "offed" Fraser for not drinking the dreaded H2O, was I far behind? Peeps haven't seen my drink since August. After I needed fluids back in September, they even bought me some cheap, loud fountain but I refuse to use it because they didn't get it at NipandBones.com. They should know not to get me anything unless Baby Patches has tested it first.

So, I ax my furrends, do you think there's a little kitty body bag in my future too? Right now, I'm just keeping my mouth shut about certain things. Fraser, who? Remember, you didn't hear this from me.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

The weather outside is frightful but inside it's so delightful!
 There's no business like snow business!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

New Year's Revolutions

How do you mess w/perfection?
I've made some New Year's Revolutions. For the peeps, that is. It's hard to improve upon my perfection so why try. I'm as perfect-a-mundo as a cat can get.

I think Pop should absolve to bang his head less and reduce the number of concussions he incurs this year. He should also spend more time with me and buy me lots of stuff. If he wants me to sleep with him, a pillowtop mattress stuffed with green papers will do the trick.

As for TW: OMC there's so much—or should I say little—to work with here. She needs to find a job where she can work from home, so I can still get food on demand but she can help pay the bills. She also has a—how can I say this delicately. I can't so I'll just blurt it out—fat ass that needs downsizing. Let's face it, she looks like one of those Wide-ettes from Saturday Night Live. I propose that she give me one-half of her chicken every night, therefore forcing her to diet. I also see her playing with me more because all that bending and fetching will be wonderful for toning the, ahem, buttocks muscles. I mean, you should see her bouncing off the furniture. It's like playing bumper cars.

TW should absolve to clean my litter box right after I use it—not a couple of hours later. As long as she's home, she has no excuse not to. Also, no ball games on tv when the cat wants to play. I'm not going to be around forever so take advantage of me while you can. Too many of my furrends crossed that Rainbow Bridge last year.

Both peeps need to start eating more meat in 2011. This chicken-only diet is killing me, er, them. How many ways can you prepare the stuff? They should absolve to start cooking roast of beef and steak. Omaha steak to be precise.

I hope to start implementing these rules, er, Revolutions, as quickly as possible. There's gonna be a lot of changes around here, I can assure you.
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