Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Cruzar has landed!

Two days ago, I wrote about how the woman had misplaced the thumb drive with my priceless photos on it. After searching high and low for it since February, I'm happy to report that there has been a sighting. And it was quite expectly just where I told her it would be. Hey, stop looking at me funny. Are you excusing moi of taking it just cos I knew where to find it? I want my mouthpiece!! Anyway, we now know HHGutt to be responsible. His fur was all over it. Ok, his paw prints. Ok some DNA my bois placed there.

To avoid this happening again, the woman has decided to not only store the images on the Cruzar, but to also use an online photo storage site. This way, unless she forgets the password—ha ha, we know she never forgets passwords—the images should be safe. I guarantee you, I'm going to make up the password so at least I will remember.

Here is one of the stunning images on the thumb drive. I'm posing with my nip banana. Notice the fat blob that somewhat resembles a cat trying to get in the picture. He better not have eyes on my banana if he knows what's good for him.

As far as señor Hernía Hernández Gutierrez is concerned, of course he isn't being punished. I have, however, taken the opportunity to buy him a one-way ticket to Arizona.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Kodak moment

Today I'm here to let you know the inspiration for my blogs. In my house, these blogs write themselves. There's always something funny going on, usually at the woman's expense. Here's the latest episode in As the Woman Turns.

Since she's been home, one of the projects that she's undertaken is converting the 1200 pictures she's taken of me into lo-res to make it easier to put them in my blog and on the web. Not only that, but she's also Photoshopping the images to lighten or darken them and remove some "clutter." We all know what a great photographer—and housekeeper—she is so why would she need to alter them? She's also decided to save hard drive space on the computer by putting the original hi-res pics on a thumb drive and removing them from the computer. I think my furrends are smart enough to know where this is going. I see you tittering and giggling already.

I was originally blue in this one! MOL!

Today's question is: so where is this thumb drive with the first 100 pics or so? The answer is … who the hell knows! The woman has "misplaced" it. Instead of leaving it out in the open on top of her dresser or in her jewelry box, she put it away "for safe keeping." In other words, my hi-res pictures are gone. Vanished into the ether. And the computer hard drive is filling up again cos the woman doesn't have another thumb drive.

Look at that! You can see me now!

This is especially galling since the numbering is off on the lo-res images, which means there are some stunning images that are lost forever; that can never be replaced. I hear you gasping and I'm gasping along with you.

Please send some suggestions as to what you think happened to the thumb drive. Did it walk away? Is HHGutt behind this unspeakable crime? Is the woman simply senile? Yep, these blogs just write themselves.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Chickfest

Gotta make sure the right 45 is cued up
I'm always looking for new blog material. I'm sure Mr. Breeze won't mind if I "borrow" one of his ideas. Saturday was our monthly pawpawty to raise money for a wonderful animal charity. The theme for this pawty was Chickfest and it benefitted the Forever Home Feline Ranch in Springfield IL.

Since I can't afford to give money, I donate my time instead. What better way to do that than spin tunes that make anipals dance. Music is in our family's blood and I'm now following in the peeps' giant footsteps.

For those who don't know, my Pop was a DJ on a listener-sponsored NYC radio station in the late '70s-early '80s. Ma was a writer for the alternative music press in the '80s and early 90s. Altho Ma helps me pick my songs and post them, we run everything by Pop for his blessings. I learned from Pop's fundraising days to mention the url to donate after every song I play.

I only found out the Chickfest theme 2 days before the pawty which isn't much time to prepare. My criteria for a playlist is threefold: it has to tie into the theme of the pawty, it has to make my furrends move their paws and dance, and most importantly, it has to be fun to listen to at home. I won't play anything that I wouldn't play otherwise.

There were a couple of ways to go w/Chickfest, the easiest being using my playlist from last year's pawty with the same theme. I nixed that because I really don't like using blip-fm anymore now that I've discovered Grooveshark. Hmmm, I could play songs by chicks or songs written by chicks or songs about chicks. What to do? Ask Pop's opinion, of course. Pop liked a mix of the three with some transgender acts thrown in for good measure. This is what I came up with along with some of my remarks. (You knew I couldn't keep this relatively short, didn't you?)

Right from the start my plans changed when I noted that SanjeetheCat closed her set with a mambo. That gave me the opportunity to start with one of my own:
"Another mambo! Chicks dig the long ball!" Yankee Mambo – NY Yankees' Theme Song
Then my most popular song of the night. I was surprised and delighted that this puts smiles on some of my furrends' faces: "Ladies: take off ur pink! Ur LIBERATED! O BONDAGE UP URS!" Oh Bondage Up Yours! – X-Ray Spex
Next song was dedicated to MariodaCat/Ladycat3 "Ur having a purrsonality crisis!" Personality Crisis – New York Dolls
Then one for my good furrend Herbie_cat "This is 4 @Herbie_cat. He's the cat w/the most cake." Doll Parts – Hole
"Courtney Love's best friend Inger Lorre! Abbys cousin" Sad and Damned – Nymphs
"What would Chickfest be w/o the LunaCHICKS Yard Dog" at which point I tried to start a mosh pit along with my posse Tuna Katt and Jamal Jonez. Yard Dog – Lunachicks
"B4 those chicks there was The Runaways JAILBAIT!" Cherry Bomb – Runaways
"@Pandafur I don't give a damn about my Bad Reputation" Bad Reputation – Joan Jett
"B4 there was Jayne County, there was Wayne County!" Rock & Roll Resurrection – Wayne County & the Electric Chairs
"There r grrls here who I could dedicate this to but I'm not saying" Tell That Girl To Shut Up – Holly & the Italians
"Hey there @crazykittykat1 Enjoying the #pawpawty? U & Herba r a nice couple" Rip Her To Shreds – Blondie
"I'll Tumble 4 Ya by Culture Club 4 the cross-dressers here"
"@Wildboutbirds r u on the dance floor *shakes hips & tush wildly*" Pata Pata – Miriam Makeba
*takes off pleather jacket and thinks about taking off fur* All this dancing is making me hot"
"@Hollieferguson JESUS DIED 4 SOMEBODIES SINS BUT NOT MINE!" (At which point, we were singing and dancing at home.) Gloria In Excelsis Deo – Patti Smith
"Let's slow things down 4 a second" Around and Around – Mo Tucker
"Has everyone see my new tat? Now I can dance w/my Tattooed Love Boys" Tattooed Love Boys – Pretenders
"THANX 4 PUTTING UP W/ME 4 THE PAST HOUR! @Georgetheduck will take over now." Why D'ya Do It? – Marianne Faithfull
My tough chick dj avitar

Friday, April 23, 2010

Uncle Don—RIP

My Uncle Don passed away this week at the age of 85. He left behind my Aunt Amy, 3 grown children and several grandkids. He loved animals and raised a family of animal lovers. He was also a WW II veteran. Just like me, he didn't believe in harming or abusing animal in any way. For a while, Uncle Don even had a farm, which was really cool! When his granddaughter had to pick a charity to volunteer for in high school, she picked the Brookes Legacy Animal Rescue. Her Mom wound up volunteering with them also. My Aunt Karen works with animals in her real job too with Ark Naturals, which sell natural products for pets. In fact, Uncle Don was so passionate about animals that his family has asked friends to donate in his name to the West Milford Animal Rescue, where he adopted many animals. I was going to add one of those Chip-In gadgets for them but The Woman refuses to get a PayPal account cos a friend of hers had a bad experience w/PayPal. I never met Uncle Don but I wish I had.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Monday, April 19, 2010

Alleys vs Toms: A long, hot summer

Many of my furrends have been axing me about my cryptic Facebook posts regarding the Alleys and Toms. Ok, nobody has actually axed but many are curious, after all, we are cats. Ok, 2 furrends seemed interested when I mentioned it.

Years ago, I lived out in the streets of CommuniPAW Avenue. This was before I was captured and put in jail until the peeps bailed me out. It was a rough 'hood, full of the usual gang violence and warfare. Picture West Side Story done with a rap/hip hop soundtrack. It was kill or be killed. Female felines were expected to represent the gang that our boyfriends belonged to. In my case, that was the Alleys. Tuna, my BF, is an Alley leader. He works with Jamal, Lamont, Georgie, etc. to clear the streets of Toms. He was ruthless and he still is. I'm proud that he's in my posse. Even prouder that he's my mancat.

Tuna has been working with the Arson Squad for years—the best in the business. You want someone burned out, he's your cat if the money is right. You always know his jobs because they go to 3 or 4 alarms. He makes a good living.

Jamal in the "big house"
Tuna will light your fire
Don't mess w/Henry
It had been a quiet winter when the sky lit up orange 2 weeks ago. The Toms torched an Alley hideout in JC. Then another one went up 2 days later in UC. Word went out that PeeWee was dead in one of the infernos. I can't relay specifics but Henry, bless his soul, has been picking them off back on the 'Paw. Two nights ago, Tuna did his best work in a long time. Made national headlines. Those smokey Toms were running in all directions for their worthless lives. The Alleys will win this war. Expect a long, hot summer in the hood.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

HAPPY EASTER FURRENDS! XOXO
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